Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Sorry about this... just... indulge me ok?

Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate..

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.


OK OK I'll stop.... but I don't promise I won't pick this up again.....

4 comments:

Soulfood said...

No one's commenting. That's because Chuck Norris is stupid.

Pilon, A said...

you commented...and Chuck Norris is going to kill you

Binns said...

Oooh. Fresh material. What's next, jokes about ninjas? I'm sorry. I'm becoming a heckler.

Danny said...

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks are internationally known as the quickest way of death.