Tuesday, May 31, 2005

I am so fucked up right now

My relationship is in shambles, my life is going nowhere. I am confused, depressed, angry, sad and lonely.

I'm gonna go blow the shit out of some terrorists in Rainbow Six, maybe that will make me feel better.

Monday, May 30, 2005

The revolution will be broadcast! And it will sound like this ... BALLZORZ!

Once in every 10 years or so an album of such extraordinary originality and power comes along as to CHANGE THE WAYT WE THINK ABOUT MUSIC.
1950's - Elvis Prestley releses his self titled debut.
1960's - Meet the Beatles
1970's - Pink Floyd - The Wall
1980's - U2 - The Joshua Tree
1990's - Nirvana - Nevermind

Untill now the first decade of the 2000's didn't have it's trademark. Well it does now. Let me introduce you to a CD (and band?) entitled simply Oligodendroglia. To simply read the album cover is to go insane. The music within will blow the mind of small creatures and humans of limited intelligence.

Submitted to me by Andrew and Steve as their entry for the Hires Root Beer Contest, it is the greatest thing ever made. Ever. It is the culmination of human history, it is the question to the answer of the universe.

So now, I have three entries. Better hurry up everyone, the contest ends in about 2 weeks, June 15th! For detals click here!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Live Aid

As I mentioned yesterday (or was it earlier this morning?), I bought the Live Aid DVD. I'll admit, I felt kinda uncomfortable spending $50 on a DVD, but after reading the liner booklet and watching the entire DVD today (a marathon you can be sure), I feel much less guilty. It helps that all proceeds go to the Band Aid fund.

The DVD is mind boggling. Over 10 hours of concert, and the concert had thought lost. Bob Geldof in his "infinite wisdom" decided the show shouldn't be recorded and as such, half of the concert was not. Thanks to some lucky finds though much of the concert was recovered. What is even more mind boggling is that with the sheer size of the concert, the DVD's are far from complete. A 4 DVD set, there are performances missing from most of the bands, several bands are missing from the DVD including Led Zeppelin, Tears for Fears and Santana. I figure if the entire concert had been collected, we would be looking at a 6-7 DVD set. Unreal.

Most commendable about the DVD set is it's ability to present the music in it's best form while still reminding us of the horrible tragedy and greed that was causing millions of people to die in shame and fear of disease and starvation. It enlightened me to the fact that simply "giving a man a fish" was not going to solve the problem. Problems including the world market holding empoverished countries captive due to national debts, mountains of food destroyed every year at great expense to protect the price of product, poor infrastructure and ignorance that were not natures fault, but humanity's own cruelty.

The following is probably something more suited to my other blog, The Pylon, but due to it's current hiatus, I'm gonna make some suggestions here.

First off, if you have $50 buy the DVD set. It's worth it just for the starving people, but also it's a great musical journey and a peice of history.

Second, visit The Hunger Site. Click on the banner to donate food. While you're at it, link to the hunger site on your blog or e-mail, just add the following code to your page;

< a href="http://www.thehungersite.com/" title="The Hunger Site"> < img src="http://photos14.flickr.com/15221388_b12578666e_o.gif" alt="0xdc2270b939f4c7b3cefdd0cc" height="60" width="120" / > < /a >

also don't be shy to make it your homepage or put The Hunger Site in your MSN screen name for a while. If you want me to help you with any of this stuff, e-mail me and I will info@pilotsworld.tk.

Long Long Day

Ok, so I went to Prince Albert today with the guys.

I watched Episode 3 (amazing), bought Live Aid on DVD, Super Troopers on DVD and The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy trilogy in print.

I also ate too much and got home too late.

This post is being posted experimentally with Zoundry... It should work cool I hope!

Friday, May 20, 2005

Survival of the Fittest

I just finished watching The day After Tommorrow on Movie Central. It makes me feel like maybe that's what the world needs, just a big evening out of things.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Advice Column ; Belinda Stronach

Ok so I wasn't planning on starting my columns just yet, but this one is kinda time sensitive, so I figured I'd hash through it.

Soulfood sent me the following ;

"Why did she do it!!!??? Why did Stronach cross over? And does this mean no more sex from McKay??"

A tough question. I read the papers, watched Newsworld, even asked the magic 8 ball. This was a stickler.

So I did the only thing I could. I whipped out the ol' little black book and gave Belinda a call, sort this little mess out. Incidentaly if you're not Canadian or a Canadian living under a rock, I'm not gonna explain the mess that is currently Canadian politics. You should be able to get all your answers at cbc.ca.


Belinda Stronach : Hello?
Pilot : hey Belle!
BS : Um hi!
P : How's it goin'!?
BS : Uhhh... good I guess...
P : So how you holding up?
BS : Do I know you?
P : It's Pilot!
BS : Should I know you?
P : Uh I helped you bury that hooker that "appeared" in your trunk last summer.
BS : Oh PILOT! How are you?
P : Fine, fine.
BS : SO i suppose you need money or something?
P : Well yes, but that's not the reason for my call.
BS : Oh?
P: Yeah, my little sister is a little confused about this whole crossing the floor thing, so I figured I'd help her out and get some answers. So what's up?
BS : I cannot exaggerate how hard this was for me. The country must come first.
P : Yeah Belle, I read the press release. What's the real reason?
BS : Sigh... well I suppose it's not like you'll be posting this conversation on the internet right?
P : No.... No I'd never do something like that! Ahem.
BS : Well, do you remember that little bar on the East side in Ottawa with the really good popcorn shrimp?
P : Oh you mean the place where you can do coke off of a donkey's shaved ass?
BS : Uh yeah, that's the one.
P : Yeah it rings a bell.
BS : Well I was in there last week, just looking for directions.
P: Riiiight ....
BS : Anyway, all of a suddent there is a police raid, and in tow was Irwin Cotler.
P : Minister of Justice?
BS : The very one. He was observing the techniques used by the RCMP in raids. I just happened to be there.. uh ...
P : Looking for directions?
BS : Right! Looking for ... directions. Anyway, he spotted me and mentioned that it would be a shame to wreck a pretty face like mine by putting me in a Womens Detention Centre and maybe we could work out a deal.
P : I see! Well that's a pretty sweet deal!
BS : No kidding! I'm just glad I didn't get Minister of Canadian Heritage or some boring post like that!
P : For sure! So what about you and McKay, that on the rocks.
BS : Oh please, you know that was just a ruse. We never were going out, we were just trying to "cuten up" the evil Conservative Party. To date Pilot, you've been the only man that's been able to satisfy me.
P : Yeah baby, I know it.

Any way we "exchanged pleaseantries" for a while, then broke off the conversation. So there you have it... the real reason she switched over.

If you have any burning questions or flaming problems, remember to drop me a line at DearPilot@PilotsWorld.tk.


So I got one reply from my experiment, and it was one of the two that I hoped would reply. David from Third World Country had an article on the superiority of Opera, so I figured I'd give it a try. Unfortunately I'm not impressed. Oh sure there are cool features, like the ability to right click a word and get info on it from the dictionary, encyclopedia, heck even translate it! But unfortuately, I couldn't get the Blogger interface to work, several graphics from pretty popular webapages wouldn't show up right, and I couldn't import my Firefox bookmarks into Opera. I'll keep trying David, but no promises!

Still no sign of my frisbee, make sure you e-mail me at info@pilotsworld.tk with any clues you might have to it's whereabouts.

Shanna, I'm wokring on your advice column, it'll be up tonight, it's just such a complex issue.....

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


So I went to a bunch of blogs tonight using the "Next Blog" thing on the thingy at the top of blogger pages. Just checked out a bunch of blogs and said hi to some strangers.

If any of you visit, post a comment here, and I'll come check out your blog in more detail, maybe we can even trade links if you like.... we could be friends! (Woo hoo!)

So yeah... I'm fishing for new readers! Post a comment!

A different Take on it

So my buddy Dave must have read my last post, becasue I came home to this message on my MSN this evening;

"So, after beating Episode 3 the video game, I'm extremely excited to see the full sequence of Padme and Obi Wan getting it on, the real reason Anakin turns to the darks side; The emperor getting a real bad sun tan and peeling for years to come; Mace Windu finally saying mother@#^%er after every line, and Anakin slaughtering the cast of Sesame Street and The Muppets in search of Yoda...."
Pretty original take on things.

Also, I'm thinking about making a shirt to wear to the show on Saturday that says "I'm Anakin's Father!" Could be a blast!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Star Wars Episode 3 : Revenge of the Sith **Spoiler ALERT! (Kinda)**

OK so as the entire universe is now aware, the final Lucas Star Wars creation is coming out this week. Two days away actually. My ocal buddies and I are heading down to Prince Albert to go see it in the fabulous Galaxy Theatre. I figured it might be fun to peice together what I think the movie will be about based on the following media criteria I have been subjected to;

1 ) Theatrical and Television trailers
2 ) Breif glances at reviews in the Saskatoon Star Phoenix
3 ) A breif skim of the TIME article
4 )Pepsi Bottles
5 ) Doritos Bags
6) Previously Released movies and the "Clone Wars" cartoons.

Warning : Adult Content!

Our movie starts out in a Couriscant bedroom about 11:30 PM. Our hero Anakin Skywalker is leaning over his love Padme nibbling her ear...

"Not Now Anakin, Jesus, I have a headache!" She yells, shutting the horny Anakin down, "Besides, I'm three days late, and you promised me that "the Force" was all the protection you needed, so help me God if I'm pregnant, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you."

"Now Padme," the frustrated hero retorts, "you know I'm a Jedi, I'll handle whatever comes up!"

"I just wish your Jedi powers would let you last more than fifteen seconds in the sac," she yealls back rolling over and falling asleep. Anakin looks angrily into the closing darkness, frustrated and alone.

The next day Anakin and Obi Wan visit the Jedi council where they learn there are a bunch of robots killing shit and the Jedi are getting their asses handed to them by a droid named General Grievous, and Anakin keeps peeing on the seat in the Jedi Council bathrooms.

During this same period, Anakin is being seduced to the dark side by Lord Palpatine, who is kidnapped by someone and some stuff happens.

Next thing you know Anakin is full on badass, and him and Obi Wan get the lighsaber thing on over a river of lava... this is the coolest part of the movie and the reason I've been waiting 20 years to see this movie.

So also I think Sam Jackson as Mace Windu gets his ass handed to him, Yoda fights the emperor and Padme has twins, Luke and Chewbacca. Padme dies, maybe even whilst having kids.

Anakin gets his ass handed to him by Obi Wan, because Obi Wan kicks ass, and ends up being all robot. So as a robot, he just sweeps through the galaxy killing ALL THE JEDI, killing every last one, including Obi Wan and Yoda, leaving no hope left....

Ok this was gonna be like a 3 part write up, but I got lazy, and figured no one wanted to read a summary of a movie I've never seen. I can't wait to see it, particularily the Obi Wan vs. Anakin battle. I just want to see that ugly ass Hayden Cristienwhateverthefuck get beat up.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Dear Pilot - Advice Column!

So here's the deal, I'm starting an advice column to go with Pilot's world, so to quote the great Vanilla Ice, "if you got a problem, yo!, I'll solve it, check out the hook while the DJ revolves it"

E-mail me at "dearPilot@pilotsworld.tk" with all your burning problems (including why does it burn when I pee?) and questions and we'll see if I have the wisdom to solve your problems!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Lighter Spirits

Ok so that last post was kinda negative, and helping Nathan over at Subablomic reminded me of a post/experiment I had to finish. So here it is.

Back on April 19th when Pope Benedict was elected poe, I took a screenshot of the Google Image search for "Pope Benedict XVI". It returned a mere 4 pictures.

Taken April 19, 2005

My purpose for this was that I hypothesised that within about a month there would be several pages worth of images f the new pope if I punched in the same seach string.

So this evening almost a month later, I punched in the same string. To my amazement, the count did not go up a single image!

Taken May 15, 2005

So now I'm curious a to how long it will take for this query to populate. So if anyone has time you can visit this link or the button at the side (googlepope)which will take you automatically to the search... drop me a line if the count goes up.


Sometimes, I wish I wasn't right. Sometimes I could beg for hours to be wrong... just make it all not be. The LAN party was as bad as I could have described.

Number one: Remember how I hypothesised that it would smell like my high school gym shorts... well imagine what that could have smelled like, then imagine a dog peed on it, someone put it in a black garbage bag, set it in the sun for an afternoon, then opened the bag and offered you a lick. And that was when I first walked in at 6:30 on Friday... it hadn't even started yet.

Two : Some people just don't get that it's A FUCKING GAME (pardon the French MOM). Seriously, you'd be plying away and if you weren't doing what someone wanted you to, they'd shoot you in the back! (This game required teamwork, not against each other). Then in person they'd yell at you to get out of their way... despite the fact they w..... Sorry.. just a rave there... they suck. Point being it was a game.

Three : After spending 4 hours in a cigarette smoke soaked, dog pee gym short (herein referred to as dourgyort) atmosphere, I decide to leave and get some air and they chew my ass off because I'm excersising my right as a law abiding citizen to freely roam the galaxy.

Four :Stupid fucking prepubecent kids (pardon the French again).

That's about it, sorry about the rave.

Added a couple more links to the right, including one to save some dumb rabbit... like some stupid rabbit is worth $50,000.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Well I'm off

I'm going to a "LAN Party" this weekend, infact in about 20 minutes. To say the least, I'm not looking forward to it. GOODY a chance to spend my weekend with a bunch of geeks plying computer games in a dingy old trailer. Place will probably smell like my highschool gym shorts.

So as promised, here's a picture of an egg with two yolks I took about a year and a half ago. Knew I'd have someplace to show it off sometime.

Picture 192

If you see a new post on here before Sunday, I've either skipped out, managed to get internet on this thingat the LAN party or maybe I just went to the library to get away.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

A Scandal That Rocked the Blogosphere...

They said it would happen. I wouldn't beleive them. I wanted to think that despite the fact that I constantly posted my blog address on my MSN that my mom who chats with me on MSN all the time wouldn't notice. How could I be so naive?

Mom found my blog.

Oh sure, the content isn't all that scandalous, but according to this MSN quote ;

"yes, i was on your site tonight and was quite scandolized by the language - under the picture."

, she thought the language is. Of course she is referring to the Jedi-Ghostbuster post. So you might find my content a little tame for a bit untill I get it figured that mom isn't going to be on here... and one of my promises for the coming week will be broken. Ah well.

Umm Ahh!!!

Ok, so I'm putting up the new template... bear with me it's a bit off.... damn blogger.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Subablomic or Subablogmic? Think about it!

New cool blog alert. My ol' college drinking buddy (and high school drinking buddy for that matter) Mr. Binns has a blog. Seeing as how he shares the same twisted sense of humor as me, and the same ability to screw with Photoshop, if you enven faintly enjoy my blog, you'll love his. Check it out at http://subablomic.blogspot.com/.

To honour his new Blog Grand opening, I went on a hunt and found this relic from the past that I made of him. Ladies and Gentlemen, Nathan as Krusty:

For You Nathan!

Coming this week ; an old invention drawing I did that will be of some use and entertainment to some of my friends, a picture of an egg with two yolks, and I still have heard no word on my frisbee!!!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

This one time.....

I once had a conversation with my cousin Kara. There were probably more people in the conversation, but it's what she said that struck me. She said "Don't we all deep inside just want to grow up to be normal with normal families." To which I replied, "Hell no! i wanna be a Jedi Ghostbuster!


Hell Yeah, Motherfucker!

Monday, May 09, 2005

Well I never!

Well I've received now one entry and another entry that is too big to send. I'll put them up on a page in the next few days. To you naysayers who think you can just go to 7-11 and buy some, go ahead, who needs you anyway. I'm willing to drop ridiculous amounts of money on shipping to send some lucky reader 50 cent can of pop... that's reason enough to enter. Plus once you've drank the root beer, you can return the can in Saskatchewan for like 10 cents ... so you make a profit!

Thanks by the way to all who posted on my last post.. 8 comments NEW RECORD!

I went fishing yesterday for the first time this year. I caught nothing, but my man Alex caught a few and gave them to me. So I got to gut fish all night last night! I need a new filetting knife.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

I'm listed!

So, my blog is now listed on the BlogShares stock exchange. What does that mean? Not too much, hopefully more traffic, and a fun game. It's like HSX, you get imaginary money to invest in a play game. So if you wanna invest, check out my site here and buy buy buy, because I'm valued really low at like $.29. CHEAP!

First entry is in for the Hires Root Beer Contest! Sent in by Doré it's awesome. Show some imagination and you too could win! Send a song, record a song! make a Flash animation, make a picture, make a claymation dancing to some dumb song ANYTHING related to Hires will do it!

Keep on rockin' it y'all and i wanna see some entries.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Amazing Discovery leads to CONTEST!

Something amazing happened to me yesterday, and it took me this long to process it and figure out how to share it with my public.

How about some background.

Back in 1995, Coca Cola dropped it's long time afficliation with A&W Root Beer and picked up the amazing Barq's Root Beer. Shortly thereafter, Pepsi did the copy-cat thing and replaced the amazing and immaculate Hires Root Beer with the sub-standard Mug Root Beer. Thus a viod in my life was created.

Although I was quick to jump on the Barq's bandwagon, creating a fan site in the late 90's and replacing drinking water, milk, juice and sleep with Barq's a hole still existed, a craving if you will for an ice cold Hires.

It was indeed a bleak ice age.

I searched for years, occasionally I would think that I had chanced upon a glance, only to be disappointed that it was another brand of root beer. I wandered aimlessley trying to find comfort in sex, drugs, rap music, but nothing could fit.... I was a lost soul, a victim of corporate change.

Yesterday dawned sunny. I arrived a the bakery at 7:30 sharp and began work. Running to the back to grab my dough carts out of the fridge, I passed a pallette of soft drinks. Out of the corner of my eye I see "Hir..." a word partially obscured by shipping instructions. I couldn't beleive my eyes. I tore away the packing wrap, the tough Sran Wrap-like substance that requires the strength of ten men to break. Not today. With bare hands I freed the beverage. My journey was over.

I hoarded two cases in my bakery all day. Unable to contain my joy, I left early for home. Knowing that the beverage must be ice cold to be enjoyed, I resisted the urge to open a can and sip it immediately. I placed it in the refrigerator and walked away, deciding what to do with my miracle find. I marked the case "Chruch Root Beer, Hands Off", posted a guard dog at the fridge and warned my girlfriend that breaching the root beer case would not be a good idea.

And I waited.

I've decided that the best way to enjoy the beverage is to share it. Thus is born the first Pilot's World Contest. The prize up for grabs, one can, unopened, undrank, untampered with of Hires Root Beer, from that first case.

Can of Hires Root Beer

Indeed, this is a picture of the very can you could win. To enter, prepare something for me. Something involving Hires. Send me a drawing, a story, an essay on why you want the drink, a picture of what you would look like drinking the root beer (with some sort of stand-in for the can, say a can of shaving cream). Entries are Due June 15, 2005. I will judge the entries by appearance and effort, then will RANDOMLY select a winner from the entries. I'll then contact the winner for address and send the can along.

E-mail Entries to HiresContest@pilotsworld.tk

Have fun and GOOD LUCK!

PS - I'd also like to announce that the old Pilot's World main site is now dissolved and the address http://www.pilotsworld.tk now applies to this page, so update your bookmarks yo!

Monday, May 02, 2005

Blogger what have thou Forsaken me?

Ok so it really didn't forsake me. I'm just completely writer's blocked. I had about three good ideas for this blog, bout couldn't figure out how to implement any of them. So we're stuck with this... a boring blog entry.

On a happy note, you can now know if I'm on MSN or not as well as tell what the weather where I am is like, thus bringing you deeper into "Pilot's World."

Well have a nice evening.