Saturday, December 10, 2005

On the Evils of Santa

Well we've all had the supposition, at least I know I have. Santa is EVIL. Beyond the obvious misdirection he creates from the true meaning of Xmas (Jesus) and many movies depicting his evil side, including the recently to be released on DVD "Santa's Slay", there are hints in old Xmas carols.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer : Perhaps the most glaring example of Santa's cynical attitude. We know that for some time, the reindeer made fun of poor Rudolph, and did the big boss Santa step in and stop it? Hell no. On the first occasion, one foggy Christmas Eve, he had Rudolph take up the lead on the sleigh. Now you tell me, how muh fucking good is a glowing nose gonna do you in fog? Would you like to go driving in fog wiht only a dim red glow to light your path? Hell no. Santa put Rudolph in front so his face would find whatever they were about to hit first.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause - Bastard knows she's married, does that stop his busy hands? Fuck no.

Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Besides his creepy voyeurism of young children (Michael Jackson did it and look what we think of him), we also have him judging and punishing children. Santa needs to spend less time of punishment and more time on rehabilitation. And less time watching little kids while they sleep.

We can also add to these arguments the common popular culture images of Santa's break and enter (through the chimney), alcoholic tendencies (though the rum and eggnog for Santa has been mostly replaced with milk) and filase idolitry, franly it's shocking that the fat bastard hasn't been locked away.


Soulfood said...

I like Santa. He gives me presents :)


David Roman said...

haha, you forgot to mention santa wears red, and if you re-arrange the letters in his name, it spells "satan". Coincidence? I think not.

Pilon, A said...

I was him!!