Never go back - you can never go back.

It happens every year. I take a couple weeks of summer holiday and by the time it's time to go back, I'm convinced I was never meant for office life. 

Obviously, my view of things has been a bit tainted. While I have been away from office life for 2 weeks and enjoying the pleasures of that absence - I haven't exactly been working either. Sure, I knocked a couple things off my to-do list, but mostly I slept in, smoked a lot and found my creative spark. And it's that creative spark that has me longing for a life that doesn't include a grey cubicle or drinking the corporate culture kool-aid. 

Early in our holiday, Rhonda and I were able to sneak away for one night without the kids or dogs to "trip the light fantastic." Before we started, we checked on each other's intentions and what we wanted to find. For my part, I was looking for insight and connection. And I'll say that in a large part, I really didn't find what I was looking for that night which I did find a bit troublesome. In fact one of my biggest takeaways was that I really spent the night more impaired than inspired - and a bit annoyed. 

One of the landmarks of our rare journeys to the mental unknown is that Rhonda gets a massive case of the giggles and I can't stop making jokes. Or sometimes worse, I'm not even making jokes, Rhonda just finds everything I do funny. It's a delicate balance to walk because after an hour two of laughing until we cry, it gets a bit worrisome. And I'm trying to balance that with a barely functioning brain. 

Fortunately, a few days later, I was able to see that this natural tendency towards humour was something that I need to start leaning into a bit more. I started thinking about humour musicians I've listened to over the years, Tenacious D, Weird Al, Flight of the Conchords and so much more. I've been playing a ton of acoustic guitar this summer and bringing it out at every social event I can but I'm really not bringing anything fresh to the mix. It's just me strumming some old covers with my barely passable cowboy chords. Fun but not fulfilling. 

By last Wednesday, July 17, all the rest and pondering finally clicked in to place and I had what was certainly my most creative day in years - maybe ever. I had put major work into a game design document (for a Minecraft project I'm unlikely to finish), a new humour music project proposal and had written lyrics and music for two songs to use in the humour project. Plus I've got seed ideas for about 6 more songs in my humour project doc and I'm excited to put together a few funny, well practiced songs to start showing people this fall. 

But of course - balance shows up again. I've volunteered to be the team manager for Jonas' pee wee football team and that's very busy right now. Not to mention the to-do list I posted last week, a new promotion at work and my need for regular sleep means that as excited and productive I've been, I'll need to pace myself and not get too far ahead of myself. 

But everytime I see a posting for an open mic, I wonder if I should head out. 

I suppose it's better to be busy than bored and the challenge that the next 3-4 months offers is going to leave me in really good shape to move forward into the new year and beyond this year. And if I'm lucky, I might actually get out to one of those open mic nights sooner than later.