Monday, October 02, 2006

Introspective

Had a hell of a good weekend... even if the Riders did lose... and had a long drive home (missed the turnoff at Francis). It gave me time to think about myself, my life, where I'm going, where I've been and where I am now (which was when I realized I was in Tyvan and needed to turn around).

I know I can say without any doubt that I've felt better the past few weeks then I've felt in months. My house is getting cleaner (not there yet, but I am working on it), I've got money going into savings, I've made another very good friend, my job is stable and pays well, I have a reunion with my highschool band coming up, a really fun cover band, a solo project and just a feeling of general well-being.

On the other hand I've got alot of things that I don't like. I'm lonely and bored in Weyburn. This town has the ability to suck the life right out of a person and despite my best efforts it's sucked the life out of me. No other place I've lived has ever been such a boon to my creativity or energy. I've been shooting at getting a degree in Environmental Science at the U of M, yet I wonder if I'm university-cut... I haven't been in school for 5 years, my job is one I tolerate, but it has potential to become a job I hate in the next 12 months if I'm forced to switch facilities and although it's allowing me to save money, my apartment is too small for my ambitions, I can't fit my music stuff in this house and still have a place to live comfortably... plus my neighbours are the loudest people I've ever heard during sex.

My solutions? I don't know. Some have suggested I work in photography, a job I'd really enjoy... particularily photo-journalism. The environmental thing isn't off my plate yet, but I do have to give it some serious thought before I pursue it, my mistakes of the past are a warning of that one, and watching the turmoil my brother is going through right now reminds me of how careful I need to be and how easily it is to make a mistake. I love my music, but I doubt that I possess the stamina, carisma and luck it would require to even make a living I could support myself with, but I also know staying on with the City until I retire is not really an option for me either. And then there's the goal I've really wanted, but it always seems I need to deal with other goals first, start my own family.

Of course it all begs alot of discussion, meditation and thought. I'm surrounded by people I consider wise and knowledgeable on these subjects, my parents, Armin-my foreman, friends, family and any other amount of people in my life. I think that by talking to them, really analyzing my own goals and dreams, something will come of it.

Sometimes it's just hard to be patient... perhaps Jamiroquai said it best :

"Dance
all these hard times you're going through
Just dance
got candy in my heels tonight baby.
Dance."

8 comments:

Soulfood said...

OK, I'm going to pose a question in your blog comments related to something you said in your blog. So, I'm doing my own little blog entry of inquiry within your blog. Hope you don't mind!

So, you said that one of your goals is to start a family. Personally, that is nowhere on my plate. I don't even see it in the near future, much less the far future. I totally see myself as a single person forever. I'll be the cool aunt to Pilot's kids.

So, my question to everyone is, do you see starting a family as a goal or are you like me and it's not even on the radar?

And then the secondary question is, if you're older than me, when you were 21 did you want a family then, or is it something that came with maturity?

KAE's Ltd. said...

Well first to Jeremy then to Soulfood.

Jeremy... Being single has its perks and its down falls. New people moving to town everyday you just never know *wink* but i know how hooked on Danny you are so... LOL...

To Soulfood

Yes when i was 21 i wanted a family but at 24 i got a VERY big eye opening experience. I was engaged to be married. we broke up in March this year but it taught me that there was still so much i wanted to do before i get married and stuff... but that aside if the right guy showed up i would get married and have kids. One right guy showed up but he has decided not to love me just be friends... hes a big poopie head! anyway ya lol... thats my answer...

Danny said...

If you can hear your neighbors while your having sex your doing something wrong, or is this when your having "Jeremy time"

Danny said...

I also tried setting you up with someone so don't come crying to me about being lonely *snap*

Pilot said...

You don't count as someone Danny.

Danny said...

*sniff* I have feelings too

David Roman said...

Jeremy Jeremy Jeremy,

Yes Jamiroqui did say it best, but communists don't believe in the nuclear family do they?

Trust me man, as long as you don't force anything and listen to your innermost self, you won't do anything you can't work with. I'm sure you know that by now, patience is the pathway to the force.

Saskboy said...

Earplugs. They are good for both music, and noisy neighbours.

Now on to helpful suggestions...
I got nothin'.
Well, you could be a photojournalist who takes photos of people breaking environmental law or good sense? That should be dangerous and exciting, although may not pay well, unless you put the photos to catchy music and sell them on iTunes.