I'm a FAWMling (apparantly)

 After much anticipation, I've dived into my first February Album Writing Month challenge. FAWM is an annual challenge to write and demo an album worth of material (14 songs) in one month (28 days). It sounds like a daunting challenge but an achievable one too. 

I've been looking around a bit over the last few days to see if I've spoken about it on this blog or one of my social networks, but I've been aware of FAWM for a long time. Like, 15+ years. Plenty has been in the way, family, work and a lack of musical outlets were all excuses I've used. But I think the biggest barrier has been how limited my songwriting experience is. I often joke that I wrote every bridge on The Criminal Kid album "These Blue Skies are Faking Freedom." It's an exaggeration, but speaks to my songwriting history - often contributing, rarely leading. 

Of course, my adventures of the last year have given my songwriting muscle a lot of exercise this year and I rolled into February feeling trained up and strong. I figured I'd be able to hit the 14 songs, but maybe I'll need to take a few days off work to focus on songwriting. 

I don't feel like I need to take time off to write anymore.

I wrote SIX songs this weekend, plus one more on Friday night I'm not counting towards my total because it was still January. Just my warmup. At this pace, I'll be done by Valentine's. If not by next Sunday. 

That pace is staggering to me - and I'm the one doing it. On Saturday afternoon, shortly after finishing the writing on my second song, I took a bathroom break. As I stood there returning all of the water I'd drank that day, I remembered that the last time I wrote two songs in a day, a third one came to me almost without effort. That song has been one of my most popular so far, "Beef Dylan". AS I WAS THINKING THIS - my third song of the day just came to me, almost whole. I finished washing my hands and ran downstairs to get a scratch demo down. I finished that, went out to the kitchen to make supper and as I stood there listening to the "tik tok" of the timer on the air fryer, I wrote my fourth song of the day. I actually forced myself to figure it out on ukelele (an instrument I don't really play) just to slow my ass down a bit. 

It's a bit shocking. I even commented to Rhonda on Sunday night that I sort of regret not throwing myself into songwriting earlier. But almost in the same breath, I said, "but I didn't, and now I have and I'm enjoying it and celebrating it." Imagine my shock when I heard the eternally wise Katt Williams repeat almost the same assurance/advice to Theo Von on Theo's podcast "This Past Weekend". "You have to be in the position you are in now to make some of these things happen." I couldn't make this happen 10 years ago so I didn't. Today I can - and I am. It's a blessing - as Katt would say. 

And it's not just being too busy that slowed me down. It wasn't just being lazy. I had to get past some hurdles and misconceptions. Feelings that I couldn't do this, lack of belief in myself and even a lack of understanding of myself. I've long struggled to see the value in the things I produce. I was always second fiddle and it calcified into my brain that I'd always need someone else, someone more motivated and talented to help me make this thing happen. I've almost overcompensated at this point and I'm having trouble working with others and finding patience for them to work at their pace. 

And the quick pace isn't without help. Rhonda and the family have been very generous in giving me the space and time to work on this. I don't think I'm going to be allowed that in the long term, but I'll take it for now. 

The FAWM community is very helpful too. Two of the songs I wrote were part of "Skirmishes", a timed challenge where you're given a prompt and one hour to come up with a song. In fact, I'd say that my two favourites so far came out of skirmishes. A third was inspired by a song someone else wrote - she used handclaps as her percussion and was self-conscious about it. I felt inspired by them and immediately went to work to write a song featuring some hand claps. 

Another unexpected benefit of FAWM has been the feedback and insight into what I'm doing and how people perceive it. So many of my songs are weeks if not months old before I perform them live. I've drained what fun is in them out and even then I only get in front of an audience every couple of weeks. I'm learning a lot about what other musicians I sound like and write like. I'm learning that there are a lot of people who enjoy my humour too. It's uplifting. 

And I'm just enjoying seeing and hearing other people's work. It inspires me, it helps me see some things that I'm maybe missing or could try. It's just been a fantastic growth tool. I don't know where the remaining 24 days of this challenge will take me, but I know I'll grow through it and feel really strong in my voice and my image. 

If you'd like to hear the demos I've posted or want to follow along, head over to my FAWM profile. I finally figured out how to make it public. If you're a fellow FAWMer, follow along and I'll do so in turn. Really enjoying building a little bit of community in all of this.