Tuesday, October 07, 2025
The Return of Rush
Tuesday, September 30, 2025
Dogs! (Oh heck and why not cats too?)
I've wanted to do a post about my dogs since coming back to the blogiverse, and since I've caught the curse that's befallen my siblings, today is the day for that lazier path.
Long-time readers will know about my first dog, Bootsy, and Rhonda's pupper, Shadow. Bootsy left us in 2013 after a short and kinda disturbing set of illnesses. That was a pretty tough one for me, and I still miss her from time to time.
Bootsy wasn't gone for long before Rhonda dragged me to the Humane Society, and we dragged home an adult Husky I named Leika after the first dog in space.
Leika was a pretty challenging dog. She had a drive to run - especially away, and she was never easy to walk despite practicing every single day. But she did have a lot of love in her heart and was unflinchingly protective of the kids. Like Bootsy, she had a very short but extreme decline at the end of her life in late 2020, and we said goodbye to her while we were in lockdown.During Christmas break in 2022, we welcomed a new mouse management officer to our home in the form of a tiny little grey/gold tabby named Baba. For my own reasons, I rarely call her that and have just nicknamed her an altered version of "Chop" to "Chip". She's a very small cat compared to Chopstick, but she's extremely fast and very bold. Despite living in a home with two large dogs, she rules the roost. And she might be even better than Chopstick was at mousing. Because there has been ZERO sign of mice since she took over the job. I think she's just able to fit into spots he wasn't.
She's a troublemaker, but she's cute and clearly thinks she's a dog that weighs over 120lbs. No one's bothered to correct her.
And I've hinted enough, but we said goodbye to Shadow just as 2022 turned into 2023. He was nearly 18 years old, and the last year of his life was not very high-quality. Shadow was a fierce protector, despite his diminutive size, and I don't think he ever needed a leash in his whole life.
And so our family has been filled out with two big dogs and one tiny cat ever since. We fostered a beautiful reddish golden retriever, whom we nicknamed "Honey" because her name was also Liberty. The owner wanted us to adopt her, but with my gout and two dogs we already needed to care for, it wasn't to be. She stayed with us for a few weeks and was definitely part of our pet story. I miss having a fish tank, but I don't think the cat would leave them alone. Her killer instinct is too strong. We tried to have a few guinea pigs, but Leika made a snack of one, and that experiment ended prematurely.
And now, I'm finally caught up on my pet story here on Pilot's World. My pets really are important to me, and in looking at my Instagram to put this together, I'm realizing how much I love animals in general. Maybe someday, Rhonda will let me get a highland cow.
Tuesday, September 23, 2025
Two in a year
Last week, just after walking off stage after performing at O’Hanlon’s I learned that my grandfather, Remo Forer had passed away at 97 years old. I carry his name with me; my middle name is Remo after him.
I’m sad about it, but at the same time, I never had a deep relationship with grandpa. We would talk politely at family events, and I always loved passing out the gum he gave me to my cousins, but he never really shared wisdom with me or guided me through much of life.
We always lived in a different town, so that’s a part of it. I
know many of my cousins who lived around Avonlea had much closer relationships.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t have an appreciation and
respect for the man. 97 good years of life is in itself respectable. But I also
share his passion for hats, and I admire his entrepreneurial spirit. In fact, if
there’s one thing I wish I’d learned more from him, it’s how to be a businessman.
He may have been a farmer and later a gravel-baron, but at his core, he was a
shrewd businessman.
I also admire his longevity. And not just living to 97. Up
until two or three years ago, he was still extremely active. Famously, he did a
James Bond-style dive out of his bulldozer as it slipped off a cliff. On his
90th birthday! I don’t know that I could make that dive now at
44.
And so, we said farewell to grandpa on Saturday. I always
find the graveside part of the mourning process to be the most impactful. Church
is important to a lot of my family, but it always feels like the priest is
spending more time delivering a guilt trip than helping us remember or mourn.
But at the graveside, we say goodbye, and it’s very emotional. And twice in the
last month, I’ve shovelled dirt on the remains of a grandparent. I was an
honourary pallbearer for the first time; I’m sure it won’t be my last.
And so, I’m left with one grandparent. Luckily/unlucky, I
dunno. But I know it’s fleetingly rare to reach my age with any grandparents.
And grandma is not doing great. She was too sick to attend the funeral, and I do
worry if we’ll be saying goodbye to her before long.
I suppose that’s just part of growing up and growing older.
Tuesday, September 16, 2025
Danks Coach!
It’s been a weird year for me.
On one hand, I’ve launched a music project that’s growing at
a really comfortable rate and giving me the confidence – and permission – to really
stretch out creatively.
On the other hand, nearly 18 years at the same company and
struggles to get ahead there have really started to chafe me, and I question why
I’ve let myself get stuck there.
Over the past few months, in particular since I was
unsuccessful in earning the promotion I was going for, I’ve been looking at
changing paths. Maybe find a new job or at least look at some different
possibilities. But the job boards don’t really have anything that piques my
interest.
In a few months, my current job contract will expire, and I’ve already made a
goal to try and make up the shortfall that will come by playing music. I don’t
know if I’ll make it in time, but BOY am I gonna try!
It's with that frustration at looking at other jobs, and
this maybe a bit insane try at something completely different that I decided to
start using a career coach. My work has an FSEAP (Family Services Employee
Assistance Program) that provides it as a benefit, so why not?
So it was that last Friday, I spent over an hour on a Zoom
call with a wonderful woman named Susan as we started to discuss my goals, look
at what I wanted to make happen and explore some ways to make that happen. It
was shocking to me how encouraging she was; there was no “no you can’t do that,”
and very little negative language. In fact, the only negative language was
coming out of me, and she was very quick to correct it and put me back on a
better trajectory.
It was also interesting how I’m really already on the path.
I’ve set some deadlines, making some hard work happen and making some hard
choices. I’m looking at my options, and even though I perceived my use of the
resources my job gives me to my own ends as parasitic, she helped me to reframe
that as just realizing the possibilities of my resources. It’s less about being
selfish as much as it’s about self-care. We have benefits at work – so let them
benefit me!
In the short term, I’ve reignited my use of my daily journal
(basically every counsellor and coach I’ve ever had harps on it; it’s time I
get more consistent), and I’m making plans to start doing a bit more every day.
I already practice and write every day, but I also need to set time aside to “do
paperwork”. And that’s one I’m well behind on. I’m actually a bit slow at work
lately, so I’m going to use some of that capacity in the short term to catch up
on that and get myself set up for future success.
And then there’s the books.
While I do like the idea of journaling, self-help books are
a bit grating to me and a few were recommended. They just seem to go on and on,
and then you get one good nugget of info. I’ve put a few on my reading list per
Susan’s suggestion, but I’m not sure how deep I’ll delve into them. But I will try.
Oh, and – the encouragement. I’ve gotta say there was
nothing more valuable than having someone who understood my frustration and my
dreams just yelling “YES” at me across an internet connection. Don’t get me
wrong, Rhonda is supportive, and Mom tries to be enthusiastic. But there’s
something about someone who’s also pursued a life in the arts telling me that YES,
I CAN DO THIS, that is just the bee’s knees. I think I needed someone to give
me more than permission.
I think it’s gonna be a really interesting winter. There are
lots of cool things ahead.
Tuesday, September 09, 2025
Is summer really going to end?
Rhonda and I were discussing recently how once the kids were gone, we were going to start taking our holidays in the fall when the weather is a bit more moderate, there are fewer people at campgrounds, and it's just easier to get time off.
I've always hated how so many people just give up on the outdoors as soon as Labour Day is behind us. Sure, for the kids, summer necessarily ends when they go back to school. But for me, little has changed beyond the month I write at the top of my journal every morning.
This past weekend really reinforced that for me. I went to my first Doylefest, a little folk festival at Eagle Creek Regional Park near Asquith. In true folk-festival form, it was a camping-only festival with a great group of musicians and music lovers. I'm not exactly the biggest folk-nerd, but these were my people, and it was a really great weekend outside!
Wasn't it cold at night? You bet your damn bippy it was. But when has that ever been a hindrance for me? I had a good tent, lots of blankets and clothes, and I was ready and happy to be out there enjoying myself. If I'd attended with a few other people, I would have had a big fire and brought the camper along just to further my comforts. As I sat at the main stage on Sunday morning, basking in the sun, buzzing from my own recent performance and sipping my delicious coffee, it occurred to me that this weekend could go on forever. Maybe I wouldn't go home.
But then again, so much of this is about letting seasons affect our behaviour. Obviously, when it rains, you need an umbrella, and when it's cold, you need a jacket, but why do we decide to hibernate the second it gets less than ideal? I've always wished that I had taken up snowmobiling or another outdoor winter sport. Something to get me out in the sun so I can stave off the seasonal affective disorder a bit.
I did get some snowshoes for Christmas a few years ago, but I've only really had a couple of opportunities to use them. And with my endlessly encroaching gout, I don't know how many more opportunities I'll get to use them. But I heard that the Farmer's Almanac is predicting lots of snow this year, so who knows? Maybe this is the year.
I don't exactly know what I've got planned for the next few weeks, but I'm going to find things. Football games, maybe some walking in the parks, and I'll hopefully find myself a way to enjoy as much of 2025 as I have left.
Tuesday, September 02, 2025
Let's go for a swim
Tuesday, August 26, 2025
I saw the Navigator this weekend
I even poked him in the back.
This weekend was the not-so-exciting but emotional sequel to our grandma's funeral from this past January. We gathered in Melville to inter her and meet as a family.
The gathering was much more intimate than the funeral, with only the direct descendants gathering. While there was some focus on keeping the family together and united, I never feel like I get enough time at these things to meet with everyone. When I say I poked the Navigator in the back, I think that's about the extent of the interaction I got with him. I talked with a few of my aunts and uncles, but again no real catching up.
I always somewhat dreaded family reunions in the past, but coming out of this, I do hope we have one for this slice of the family sometime soon. I'd like to spend more time catching up with cousins, aunts and uncles soon. It seems the only time I've seen any of them in the last few years has been to help grandma move or mourn her loss.
It was a bit of a low weekend overall. Rhonda was out of town, which meant I had a lot more on my plate. In addition to the funeral, Jonas's team suffered a pretty humiliating defeat on Sunday night that was capped by a season-ending injury to their slotback. It was so bad that they called the game 4 minutes early to bring an ambulance onto the field. And that was the second player they've lost for the season already. But Jonas made his first reception, so I guess there was a bit of a silver lining.
Beyond that -a bad rental car, a depressed dog and our water being shut off for 3 days because of the construction out front made for a pretty frustrating and depressing weekend.
But I think I'm getting it turned around. I played on the Bushwakker stage for the first time last night and had a great time meeting some other musicians and singing songs for people. Between playing at the funeral and the 'Wakk - it's been a busy week of rehearsing. And I've got more coming right away with a little performance at the library for Nuit Blanche on Saturday and another gig in Asquith SK on the 6th. They're all little gigs but they give me a chance to network and spread some more stickers around!
Tuesday, August 19, 2025
You're both right
And let's talk about that.
Oh please.
First of all, yes, the US uses the Imperial system, but it's not like they invented it. Where do you think the word "Imperial" comes from? The British Empire friend. It's as much a part of Canada's history as it is for any other country. In my area of the country, the gravel road grid is still measured in miles.
Tuesday, August 12, 2025
A Sticky Situation
Tuesday, August 05, 2025
The world needs more than stories
Back at the beginning of July, I played my first "real gig" at Moose Jaw's Sidewalk Days festival. From almost the first moment I was there, I noticed that there were a bunch of people walking around with nice big walking sticks. I mean - wooden broom handles. But walking sticks nonetheless.
I asked around and was always given the friendly note that you could get one at the south end of Main Street. No one said how much they were or how I was to get one.
So it was that after my performance and before I had a busking shift to start that I mosied my way down to the south end of Main Street to see if I could obtain my own walking stick. But as I approached the booth with a barrel full of broomsticks, I knew I'd been duped. This was no hippie selling recycled broom handles to gullible festival goers. No, this was an evangelical church, and they'd be happy to give you a walking stick and a string of beads. If you listen to a story.
I established earlier this summer that I'm probably not going to be swayed to the Lord by some story, but I did kinda want a walking stick, and I do try and approach life with an open mind. Plus, I kinda wanted to hear this story if nothing else. Boy, was I in for a letdown.
A letdown because there were no stories. Just some old white dude giving me a list of rules I needed to follow - all with "in a Christian church" appended to them. Like 10 minutes standing with this man and he couldn't tell me a single story.
What a waste. I may no longer be a Christian, but I was once, and I know that the Bible is positively PACKED with stories. And Jesus did a lot of work spreading his message using stories. Does anyone remember the good Samaritan or the prodigal son? Like stories abound. But this dude couldn't find one of them to tell me. I wanted a piece of wood, but he wanted my soul - and that's gonna cost more than $7.
So it was that as he reached the end of his checklist of rules and pivoted to "can we pray together?" that I stopped him. I explained to him that there was no story told in the last five minutes. I explained that I had been raised in a Christian church, and the things I had seen had been what drove me away from faith. And that couldn't be bought back with a broomstick and some dollar store beads.
Fast forward to this Saturday afternoon, as I was walking the dogs and thinking about this interaction again. I don't know if I saw a broomstick or a flyer for a local church, or what had me thinking about that. And I was thinking about how badly churches are failing themselves and humanity these days. How these institutions that are supposed to be built on a foundation of charity and love are spending more time trying to control and manipulate.
And in that moment, I stumbled across a man lying on the ground next to the old abandoned church near my house, unresponsive.
I did what the churches aren't doing. I stopped and offered aid.
It's a bit more convoluted than that, to be sure. I tried to rouse him and couldn't. I had to run my giant Newfie home because she was very concerned with this person and was getting loud and belligerent. I didn't have a phone to call 911. I was not in a position to offer easy help. So I ran home, dropped off the dog, grabbed my phone and ran back.
I was able to get the man up, but he was in terrible shape, and I called an ambulance to come offer assistance. The story doesn't have much from there. I kept him safe and gave him instructions, monitored him until the paramedics arrived, then I was left on my own to ponder what had just happened.
And that pondering led me to the place of - could this man have been helped to a healthier place if that church had spent less time trying to con people into faith and more time trying to help the poor? Could the money spent on wooden dowels have been spent on food, education or drug treatment?
I've been thinking a lot about this over the weekend. Whenever I am tempted to volunteer to help others, it's never through a religious organization. And after nearly 2 decades in "the hood" I've never even seen a Christian church lending help. I do see the Sikhs feeding people every weekend. So if I were going to consider a faith, it's more likely to be Sikh or Buddhist. Because those are the people I see actually helping. Faith for the sake of faith isn't enough.
And so ends another tirade about religion. But at least in my anti-religion tirade, I told a story. Actually, I told two.
Checkmate.
Tuesday, July 29, 2025
The myth of myths
It wasn't the first I'd heard, but it was how The Navigator chose to tell me that The Price of Darkness had left the mortal coil last Tuesday.
Ozzy's celebrity was unavoidable in the 1990s, but at the same time, something was missing. You never heard Sabbath songs on the oldies station - only on the rock stations. My parents listened to 1970s music, but they never had Sabbath records. I never saw Sabbath or Ozzy records when I bought old records at garage sales.
Tuesday, July 22, 2025
I turned 44
I know, it feels like I already tackled this subject. But this is more about my impressions and behaviour in the week since my birthday.
I noticed the shift not long after last week's post. Because of the rain we'd had the week before, our firewood and tinder were damp, and I was struggling to start the fire. Normally, I'd just persist until I had fire but - I was 44. I didn't want to persist. I just wanted fire. So I grabbed a firestarter cube from my pizza oven kit and got the fire started in no time.
I'm not sure why I'm like this, but given the option between the easy way to do something or the hard way, I am inclined to select the hard way. Especially if I have time and resources to do it. Maybe it's being culturally Catholic. Maybe it's just a belief that becoming fully dependent on tech and shortcuts will erode my ability to do stuff.
But I really am in my midlife now, and it's really become apparent over the last couple of years that I'm not going to live forever. Today we learned that the Prince of Darkness himself, Ozzy Osbourne, died. I mean, if Ozzy can die, I sure can too. Even if he's got 30 years on me. (Side note: I'm sad about Ozzy dying. We all knew it was coming sooner than later, but it's tragic to see the end of the beginning for so many of us of a heavy-music persuasion. I'm so glad he got to do one last show with Sabbath. I had hoped he would end it all by having a bat bite off his head as the finale of the show. No luck. RIP Ozzy.)
And this willingness to take help has continued. This weekend, after a decade of harassment, I finally bought a licence for Reaper to help me record an EP. I could do it with Audacity. But it's so much easier with Reaper.
It's a debate I've always had with myself. What is the balance between building skills and knowledge through hard work and practice, or making life manageable through the conveniences of the modern world? I think that the Amish have perhaps gone too far in the wrong direction, but at the same time, I'm glad I held off on TikTok to wait and see what happens. I'm grateful to have a car to drive to get groceries, but at the same time, I'd love to eat at a restaurant or bar without 100 screens in my face.
But now, I'm 44. So that's going to help my decisions for the next bit. Maybe the easy way is the way. And if I'm wrong, I've made it this far without knowing how to tie a proper Clove Hitch. Probably I can make it another 44 years without that knowledge.
Tuesday, July 15, 2025
Happy Birthday - to me?
Saturday, July 12, 2025
Tuesday, July 08, 2025
The Search
Last week's post was openly lazy, but there was a reason I had become so lethargic by the time I sat down to write (dictate) the post.
You see, Rhonda and I had spent most of the afternoon on a crusade to find a most unusual thing - Co-Op Gold Ginger Ale.
Ginger Ale? I know. I thought much the same at first.
It started when we stopped at the Co-Op to fill the car with gas. Rhonda commented that she'd had a Co-Op ginger ale on her trip home from Winnipeg the week before, and we should grab some. Alas, the cooler had none left.
After the gas station, we needed to stop for some groceries (namely the hamburgers I needed to grill up in last week's post). But again, the coolers were empty and the shelves had been wiped clean. Well, that was a bit unusual.
We had some time before we needed to pick up Jonas from a friend's house, so we decided - what the heck, let's see if we can find some at the Co-op grocery near his friend's house. Again, no ale in sight. So we tried the gas station next door. Empty.
Things were starting to get weird.
The next day, I was in the south end and needed a Slurpee, so I stopped by the South Albert Co-op. No ginger ale.
At this point, it turned from fun curiosity into an obsession. I don't even care to drink the beverage. I just need to know it exists. It has become my holy grail.
On Friday, I dragged Jonas all the way to North Winnipeg Ave. Co-op only to leave empty-handed again.
And so this story continues to progress without a resolution. As recently as last night, Rhonda stopped at the Co-op grocery store and left with another ale fail. I have some holidays next week, and while we'd planned to go to Buffalo Pound for some camping, I'm prepared to cancel and spend the week scouring Western Canada for this soda.
I've made a police-artist sketch of the soda, if you see some, please let me know. Take pictures because it might be gone once "they" figure out we're on to them.Tuesday, July 01, 2025
Lazy Deck Day
Tuesday, June 24, 2025
Why you do me so dirty Strombo?
I recently watched a video essay by one of my generation’s spokespersons, George Stroumboulopoulos. It’s an essay about aging, about our moments as a generation, and he focuses on the legendary soundtrack for the movie “Singles”.
Now, I admit, this wasn’t a soundtrack I was actually that
into at the time. I had plenty of others. The soundtrack to Cable Guy, Godzilla,
Empire Records – even my first CD: the Wayne’s World soundtrack. But the songs
on this soundtrack are the bands that defined my younger years and are the
foundation of what we were into during that 1990-1996 era.
He talks about the legendary years of 1965-1969, and I
realize that not only did we have a similar movement of music and culture, but a lot
of what happened in the late 60s helped define the early 90s. Jimi Hendrix and
The Beatles were as essential listening as Nirvana or Soundgarden. And it makes
me feel very old to realize that there is more time between Nirvana and now
than there was between Hendrix and Nirvana.
Sigh.
Maybe the essay shouldn’t have made me feel sad, but it did. It’s as though the cycle didn’t come around again. That time of youth coalescing to create something new and expose the excess and abuse of the music industry. Or maybe I just don’t see it because it’s not rock and roll. Because the cycle didn't come back around and pick me up. It was for someone else.
And then again, maybe it’ll come in the next couple of
years. The world really is in a bad way, and people are standing up around the
world. Something I’ve learned in developing Jeremy and his Kazoo is that the
kazoo is an instrument of protest. Maybe I’m the one on the cusp of the next
cultural movement. Not that I have the energy or, frankly, the knees for it.
I mentioned to The Navigator when he was over a couple of
weeks ago that I’d been watching a lot of JHS Pedals content on YouTube. One of
the most fascinating things I’ve learned through that was how the intersection
of rock music and technology created so much of that late 60s sound. Jimi
Hendrix with the wah and fuzz. Clapton with overdrive. The Beatles and flanger.
All this to say, these changes come with the innovations of
the time. And I think our time is defined by the innovations of social media
and the internet. Hank Green talks a lot about this and how similar uprisings happened after the printing press. Maybe the movement happening now will be
easier to see in a decade or two.
So what of it all? Nothing really. Just an old man
bellyaching about how good we had it while I sit here and listen to the Singles
soundtrack streaming on Spotify.
But George also talks about all of the people on that soundtrack
who died too young. And about one who they wanted on the soundtrack that also
didn’t make it to 30. And that just doubles down on the feeling of being old,
of being fragile and finite.
And it makes me want to make music. To connect. To make a
zine, copy a tape, hang posters and just do all of those things that social media
has taken. To be human and connected in person again.
Tuesday, June 17, 2025
Time to get moving along
I've mentioned my frustration with work and life a couple of times over the last year. It's such a weird position to be in because in the same breath that I'm fed up with my place in life, it's a nice enough rut that it's hard to get out of. I don't feel particularly motivated to apply on jobs or run off to the woods.
Yet another modern Catch-22 of my own making.
The Navigator visited this weekend, and we had a chance to talk about work. We talked about his recent job move and what he's doing to find himself in the right position. It was inspiring to me. Being at the same company for 18 years makes switching jobs an anxiety-filled proposition. But here he is, looking at his options mere weeks after starting a new job. Far out.
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Photo of me with handsome nephew Capone for context. |
Who knows.
Tuesday, June 10, 2025
No, for real...
...this is probably not a world we should be bringing children into.
I've always had this lingering memory from a movie or TV show I watched when I was a kid. It depicted a future world of pollution and filth. The sky was orange, there was smoke everywhere, and everyone was wearing a mask. I'm not totally sure what the movie is; it could be the 1981 film Heavy Metal, but I wasn't able to find the imagery in my mind during a cursory search online.
In any case, the world depicted in this poorly remembered media has become the world I see outside lately. We've all been wearing masks on and off for the past half decade (oh did I mention that there was a goddamn PANDEMIC during the quiet time on this blog?). The past three or four summers have seen the skies get very orange due to wildfires all over the place. Just last week, La Ronge, the birthplace of this blog, was badly damaged due to wildfire. A lot of history was lost when the former Robertson's trading post burned to the ground.
And beyond the environmental and the epidemiologic, there is also a fentanyl and meth epidemic going on that seems to be touching everyone lately. A co-worker had to give someone in distress Narcan a couple of weeks ago, and this Sunday, Rhonda and I took our turn. While walking the dogs on Sunday afternoon, we came upon someone giving a woman chest compressions in the alley. We stopped and lent aid until emergency services showed up. At which point, she jumped up and ran away!
And then there is what's happening south of the border. I would say all of us have seen this coming, and for the first time, I'm hearing the whispers that the second American Civil War is starting to develop. I don't know what a modern civil war will look like, but I can't see this ending without the need to make some new maps. As if Las Angeles hasn't been through enough this year.
Things are ugly, and they only look like they're going to get uglier.
And it's hard to know what to do as an individual. I've been recycling my pop bottles and walking to work, but that hasn't done anything for the pollution. I voted, but authoritarianism is in full swing. I've engaged in Truth and Reconciliation, but indigenous people are still being ravaged by drugs and poverty.
So maybe that's the whole thing. Maybe all I can do is encourage everyone to stop having kids and just relax. After all the musicians played while the Titanic sank because there was nothing else to be done. Guess I'll go strum my guitar and wait for the air to become unbreathable.
Tuesday, June 03, 2025
Faith and Begorrah
A few weeks ago I stumbled on an episode of the “WithinReason” podcast hosted by Alex O’Connor where he spoke to Good Mythical Morning
host Rhett McLaughlin about his break from the “White Southern Evangelical
Christian Church”. Specifically, I think he broke away from a form of Baptist
church, but the discussion is about the strong evangelical aspect of churches
from the American south.
I’ve known about Good Mythical Morning for a decade or more,
Kayah and I would watch it when she was little. It’s basically a morning talk
show on YouTube – with millennial trappings. So think less Regis Philbin, more
Tom Green.
Rhett wasn’t alone in what he calls his “spiritual deconstruction,”
his co-host Link Neal also embarked on the journey. They both grew up in the
Baptist church and were even heavily involved in recruitment and evangelicalism
during college. They had fully consumed the grape flavour-aid.
The deconstruction started for Rhett when he started exploring
what he was being told about evolution in the church and what science and the
rest of the world were saying. For Link, it was around the way gay people were treated
by the church. Of course, that’s a major oversimplification of their journeys but
it gives you an idea of what started their journey.
It’s led me into quite the deep dive about their journey
because it so connected with the journey I’ve had leaving the Catholic Church.
Now, my journey is not the same as theirs. Mine was a lot
quieter and I wasn’t nearly as entrenched in it as they were. While I know
there are members of my family who would feel better if I went to mass every
week, for the most part I’ve been allowed to follow my path where it takes me.
I think the part that I most identified with was the identification
of the hypocrisy I was being fed and how pulling that thread started
unravelling everything.
For me, like Link, it was how gay people were being treated that didn’t make
sense. Especially when combined with the endless allegations of abuse and
rumours of gay activity within the clergy. And to be clear, I’m not judgmental
that there are gay people expressing themselves in the clergy. I’m critical of
the hypocrisy of saying no one else can be gay. And I find the abuse of minors
and others to be abhorrent not only to God but to humans as well.
But there were things that came up earlier that pushed me over
the edge once I started questioning things.
I may not have been as entrenched in my church as Rhett and
Link were, but I was still very involved at a time. I was deeply involved in youth
ministry and summer camps from about grade 6 until sometime in high school. I
went on retreats, jamborees and did a lot of things that in retrospect were
pretty weird. Anyone who attended one of the SEARCH weekends can attest to
that.
One of my strongest influences at the time was a priest who
served at my church in town right out of seminary and was the camp priest at
the summer camp I went to. He’s a very good man so I’m not going to out him
here – but in looking back, conversations with him contributed to my departure
from the church as well.
He was always great at making Jesus and the bible compelling
and fun. And he thought outside of the box. He told me something once that
always stuck with me, “I know atheists who do a better job of living the word
of Jesus than most Christians.” It made it clear to me that living a good life
and being good to people doesn’t require faith.
But my view of this particular gentleman was shaken the day
I asked him his thoughts on the Robin William’s movie, What Dreams May Come. In
the film, Robin Williams’ character loses his wife who dies by suicide. He
finds a way to go to hell and saver her to bring her back. It’s a movie that really
explores the spiritual and everything that goes on outside of the human
experience. But my priest friend was having none of it. He insisted that only
God could rescue us from hell and that was the end of the conversation.
I tried to engage him more but for the first time in my friendship with him, he
got mad. This was not to be discussed. Which brings to mind one of the most
powerful observations that has come out of learning about Link and Rhett’s deconstruction
– the difference between being curious and being right.
During one of the podcasts I consumed, it was noted that the
difference between the religious right and the rest of us is that the religious
right are obsessed with being correct. While the rest are more curious and want
to grow. And that speaks to my core. Most of the time, I don’t really care
about being right – especially if it’s not about the safety and wellbeing of
others. I’d rather ask questions or event better – listen than be right about
everything in the world. But most religious people I know are obsessed with
being right.
So as I entered high school and moved to college, I got
curious. I looked at other Christian denominations but they all seemed like
just different flavours of kool-aid. Muslims were interesting for a while and I’m
glad I got curious about them when everyone else was trying to have an opinion
about them after 9/11. Buddhism was very interesting for me for a while but at
the end of the day, it still felt like a human translating the divine.
In the end I concluded that if there is a God, he’d be more
concerned with me living a good life and loving my neighbours than if I was
going to church every week or trying to convince others to drink the same kool-aid.
And for the most part, until a couple of months ago, that’s pretty much where
the story ended. I don’t wear it on my sleeve, I try not to attack people with
faith. Just live and let live.
But boy hearing about religious deconstruction shook me up.
It’s made me realize the core of some of my self-doubt, my constant guilt and
even why I can get so deeply judgemental at times. It makes me think that maybe
I need to find some support or counselling about that. I do feel sad about the
loss of community that comes with leaving a church. And I think I crave a sense
of ritual or spirituality to ground myself and put my negative energy into. I
don’t know what that is per se, but I know it’s something missing.
And there is something divine about the world. I don’t know
if it’s a god, or many gods. But there is something spiritual about the feeling
you get when that first layer or lacquer is wiped on to a fresh piece of wood. Something
out there is ensuring that Elvis is on the radio when you’re heading out of
town to say goodbye to your grandma.
It sure feels like something’s out there. And maybe it’s time I started looking
for it again.
Tuesday, May 27, 2025
Annum Horriblis
Defying all odds, tomorrow will be one year since I (and The Navigator) got back into blogging. And I don't think either of us has missed an assigned day, although we both enjoy being late.
In terms of our original goal of just keeping in touch with each other, I'd say mission accomplished. I'm very glad that The Navigator insisted on this being a blog and not a video. First, I would have given up on video a few times during this experiment. Plus, it's been very rewarding to dust off old Pilot's World and bring it back to life. I'd forgotten how fun blogging is.
I'd also forgotten the original motivation to journal my life a bit that Pilot's World offered. It's a regret I've developed over the year - that I didn't keep it up so I have some stories from the last ten years or so recorded. Some of that is in other places on social media, but the blog is such a nice long-form medium.
And there's so much more to do in the future!
Looking back on what I've written this year, I've noticed that I have barely talked about the dogs, even though I hang out with them constantly. I've got a handful of posts drafted out for the next few weeks, including returning to the Bronco Game, talking a bit about spirituality and an update about how it is, in fact, gout.
I'd also like to freshen things up around here a bit, maybe make the place look better. I made a very weak attempt at a new banner logo (up top there) last week, but it's not great. It's just something.
Overall, very proud to have reached a year, happy that the Navigator has been along for the ride and maybe, just maybe, we can inspire some other old-timers from the heady blogging days of the early 2000's to join us this year! (I'm looking at YOU STEVE).
Tuesday, May 20, 2025
Say it Frenchie!
Tuesday, May 13, 2025
Not Into It?
Tuesday, May 06, 2025
Pilon for Pope - 2025
The news arrived about two weeks ago: Pope Francis passed away at the ripe old age of 88. After much mourning and chest-beating, the Catholic Church is now finally in a position to pick a new pope.
I come to you today, as I did about 20 years ago, to share why I think my father, Denis, should be elected to the highest office in the Church when the Cardinals enter the conclave tomorrow.
Now, we had a lot of fun with the papal election back in 2005, and things got pretty silly. There were Photoshopped photos of Dad with a big ol' Pope hat on, and we all had a good laugh. Even a couple of weeks ago, I put together a song to start the campaign. But I was informed this weekend that it was so unfunny that it didn't even merit comment.
Ouch.
But you know what? Maybe there's some truth to that. After all, the Vatican, and the Church in general, are pretty serious institutions. They deal with the very word of God and have influence over the entire planet. Maybe if I took this a little more seriously, the Cardinals would actually pay attention. So we're going to take a more serious and measured approach to this campaign. I present to you, Pilon: Papacy with Panache.
With a rich, dark green background and golden text in a classic Gothic font, the campaign can't help but grab the attention of even the most serious and devout Catholics. And the promise of a pope with some panache will grab the attention of the progressives in the Church who are looking for someone with some personality.
So, what changes and promises will Pope Denis bring to the table? I'm glad you asked.
Here for your review are some of the changes and new rules that Pope Denis will bring to the Catholic Church.
- The announcement of the new Pope will continue to be done via smoke signal, but it will now involve the Cardinals smoking many fine cigars.
- The Popemobile will be upgraded to include a humidor and a scotch cabinet.
- Wherever possible, stonework will be removed from Vatican City and replaced with fine woodworking of teak and walnut. This will make it more environmentally friendly somehow.
- Strict "no losers" rule in the Swiss Guard will be enforced.
- We're moving the immovable ladder. Just over one window. We'll act like we have no idea.
- Upgrading communion hosts to personal pan pizzas to align better with the Italian roots of the church.
- Blood of Christ upgrading to Mountain Dew: Code Red.
- We're going to laminate the Shroud of Turin. Scientists keep showing up trying to do tests, and frankly, they've done enough.
- Weekly "prophecy parties". We'll bring the Holy Bong of St. Peter out of retirement.
Tuesday, April 29, 2025
Not what you expected
I know I promised that the Campaign for Pope 2025 would start today in my last blog post. And I suppose in private it has. But there are a few things going on in the world and personally right now that's taking up my time. So we'll start next week with some nice Photoshopping and fresh ideas.
For today, I'm going to go back to maybe a more traditional journaling format and let you know some of those things I'm up to that are taking up my time this week.
First off, Canada held its 45th election yesterday. I've got some pretty mixed feelings about the outcome. As of this writing, we know that the Liberals will form government under Mark Carney, but it's still unknown if that will be under a minority or majority government. I've always been a fan of minority/coalition governments because I think it puts an extra check on power. But there's something about the current situation and the tension between Canada and the US that makes me wish there was a clear mandate. If the BQ are given the balance of power, I think it will only exacerbate the feelings of Western alienation in the country, and that could be problematic.
The fact that my favourite federal MP and my least favourite federal MP lost their seats in the election also adds to my mixed feelings about the election. Jagmeet Singh resigned as leader of the NDP last night, and the poor NDP took an absolute beating, primarily at the hands of the Tories last night. Gross feeling.
Also worthy of mixed feelings is that Pierre Pollievre lost his seat, but the Conservatives picked up a lot of seats. Which I read to mean that despite the threat of neo-conservatism coming from the US, some Canadians still felt that the party was the solution. Although I've seen a lot of arguments that the Tory vote was more about crime and affordability - which is a genuine issue that we as Canadians need to start working on.
All in all, nothing's changed much, but at least we don't have to listen to PP anymore, and maybe we'll see the Conservative Party of Canada actually become a more traditional conservative party again.
In other news, I'm rounding the corner on making my job as a Communications Consultant permanent. I've been doing the role on a temporary basis for the past 3+ years, and a permanent spot has finally opened up. I'm a bit nervous and there's so much to do, but standing back a few steps, I think I'm the person who will get the job. At least I hope so. I've got the most experience in the company and in the department. I've passed the written assessment, and tomorrow is my interview.
The interview looks like it will be pretty intense. I need to do a presentation on four things I'd change or update about the media relations team, and then we follow that with the usual, "tell us about a time you were butt-hurt and what kind of cream you used to soothe the burn."
I've got the presentation built. After basically running the place for the last year, I've got more than four things I'd like to change. But I'm focusing on a few that I think will resonate and that I can connect to the company as a whole, or to larger trends in the world. Less complaining about things I don't like and more insight into ways we need to improve.
The "tell us about a time" section is maybe a bit deceiving. On one hand, I feel over-prepared for it for the first time in the dozen or so times I've done an interview. The Company started doing a new staff review process called "PDP" a few years ago, and part of that process is collecting stories to show that you do certain things, like work with people or overcome a serious butt-hurt. So I have three years of collected stories to draw from. I just worry it's giving me too much confidence, and I'm going to be less prepared than I feel when it comes to the interview.
Also, I need to file my taxes tonight.
All this to say, I've got lots going on this week. So next week, right as the 2025 Conclave is about to start, I'll be starting the campaign to make Denis the next pope.