Manipulation

Over the last 3 or 4 years I've focused a lot of attention on the concept of manipulation. Obviously in our - shall we say "spicy" - political and social landscape, the concept of manipulation comes up a lot. That's part of what has my attention but there's quite a bit more to it. 

I completed my diploma in public relations from the University of Victoria last winter and while the industry would like to hide behind other words, boiled down the work we do is manipulation. We hope to manipulate your behaviour or opinions to the whims of the people we work for. Thankfully, we did a LOT of work on ethics and ensuring that the power you're yielding is used for good. Lord knows the oil, tobacco and weapons industry have a different approach to manipulation. 

Sometimes I see manipulation or detect that someone is trying to manipulate me and I'm frankly ok with it. Maybe it's letting a gym ad manipulate you into going for a workout or a restaurant manipulating you into treating yourself to the super-size. I know that when I play Pokemon Go, I'm being manipulated into their microtransactions. But I also know that it manipulates me into getting out for a walk, maybe being social with someone. I'm willing to accept that manipulation. 

Other times I know I'm being manipulated and it's damn near impossible for me to step away from it. Instagram Reels and YouTube Shorts do this to me. And I know for my Tik Tok consuming friends it's even worse. I'll waste countless time just scrolling up on the most useless junk. I'm working hard against this manipulation - I try to tell myself that my focus on music was meant to offset the time I spend scrolling. To some extent, it has. But I still scroll. And if I'm tired, depressed, anxious or just generally avoiding life - scroll city baby. 

It was a shock to me last week when my counsellor brought up manipulation. Maybe she picked up on some of the language I use or something, but we both shared a moment recognizing that the work we do is manipulation. Even if saying that word can have a strongly negative response. 

And I think that discussing manipulation in the context of a counselling session is very dangerous. Which is why I'm shocked it came up. Because this wasn't "be careful of being manipulated." No. It was more like, "Sometimes you need to manipulate the people around you to do the right thing." I know what she's talking about and I've got enough of an ethical foundation that I can use this for good. But my God if she'd said that to a sociopath, someone without a strong ethical base or just someone who is struggling with relationships - that could be awful. 

We live in an environment today where some industries and groups are forced to identify their manipulation. You can't watch a YouTube video that has an advertisement without someone pointing out the ad. That's great. I know that someone is getting paid to convince me to buy a thing. Do we owe our loved ones and coworkers the same warning? Should I tell Rhonda "Hey, I need to manipulate you into making me macaroni and cheese for supper?" Or can I stick with the usual, "Imagine yourself making the most delectable pasta, covered in copious amounts of cheap cheddar and sprinkled with the spiciest of dried mustard." (Note: that's not the actual manipulating we discussed but people deserve privacy. And I deserve mac n' cheese). 

I've grown up under the instruction to question authority. Well into my 40's, I'm recognizing a need to question EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. It's exhausting but in the "Age of Persuasion", I don't know that there's any other way to approach things. And maybe sometimes you just need to let your guard down and be manipulated.