Let's (not) Get Pissed!

I've struggled on and off with gout over the past decade. I've worked with doctors to get medication that works but it's of course an ailment that's also helped along by what I eat. I'm not the best at controlling my diet but I really have cut out a lot of red meat - meat in general and other foods to try and stem the limp.

One of the choices I made last year was to stop drinking. I figured it's something that does harm to all parts of the body and in my work, I get to see some of the awful side effects of liquor. It really wasn't a hard decision to make. Although I do miss going to have a nice amber ale at Rebellion. 

The most difficult part is the social aspect. It's no secret that celebrations typically include alcohol around here and all the fun things seem to happen at bars. Lucky for me, many establishments have developed high-quality non-alcoholic beverage options. And non-alc beer is becoming drinkable. But I have friends and co-workers who cannot accept this choice. A manager I work with insists every time I'm around her and alcohol that I should be drinking, why am I not drinking, here's a DRINK DRINK DRINK. 

Sorry. It's frustrating. 

Most people are cool and go the extra mile to help me find options or to be curious and understanding. I went to a gala a couple of months ago and it was a real relief when one of our hosts pointed out where the non-alc beverages were. And they had an AMAZING non-alc feature cocktail. If you ask me - this is how we stop the impaired driving problem.

I still use cannabis - and in fact, that's my next hurdle to jump. I use it too much and it's as harmful as the alcohol. I could be better, and do more if I had the strength to eliminate that. I go through a quitting cycle every 12-18 months but it just never seems to stick. I think I need some more research and maybe some actual support to get through that one. In time I hope! 

On Friday night I went to the holiday party for one of the teams I work alongside, the Brand and Advertising team. They wanted me to come hang out and also to sing some songs. I joyfully complied. 

Now, no one tried to make me drink and in fact, the Director offered me some 0% Coronas. All good. But it was amazing how everyone seemed to need to come to me one-by-one to tell me why they drink, how they used to drink more, how alcohol had an effect on their family etc. It was this weird holding court kind of feel and everyone needed to come and kiss my ring, and tell me about booze. 

And none of it stopped being constantly offered nicotine and cannabis vapes. I drove and had committed to driving a couple of people home so I was committed to staying sober. But again, there seemed to be a committed need to see me get wasted. I know one of the managers is quite concerned that she's never seen me "throw down." But like, why do you need to see that? Says a lot more about you than it says about me.

Maybe more expected was that end-of-the-night moment when the social fabric was starting to fall apart. People were asking stupid questions and unable to finish sentences. I took that moment to make my exit. It was already an hour later than I'd planned to stay. I'm told it got kinda messy after we did leave. No regrets. 

I'm glad to see that at least on the macro scale, things are changing. Options are becoming more common and I really do think I'm having an easier time of this than I would have 10 years ago. But I also wonder if our move to boutique alcohol and legal cannabis hasn't made a more dangerous situation occur. When I was in college a party typically involved your choice of Molsons' or Coors and going outside for an "acoustic" cigarette or joint. The sheer number of options from vapes to gummies to micro-brewed liquor was dizzying at this party. I think one could become an alcoholic just trying to keep up with the Joneses. 

Inebriation is a strange part of the human condition. I've heard it argued that we get high and drunk more than any other people in history. I question that conclusion, especially when it comes to alcohol. But I do wonder if we're trying to numb a greater pain and making life worse for our bodies and minds while we do it?

Time will tell. 

Humanist

Last week was a challenge at work. By Tuesday afternoon, my cohort, M and I were questioning why we were working where we were. Trying to be supportive I noted that we were there to keep the bad in check. Even if we fail, at least someone was there to raise the alarm and hold people to account from inside. 

This would play out to be very true over the remainder of the week as we both had moral quandaries come across our desks. We were both in a position where we needed to advocate for vulnerable groups, defend the free media and in one case, protect the dignity of the deceased. It all sounds far more dramatic than it really was but at the same time, it could have become more dramatic if someone hadn't been there to say "Let's reconsider this, I have an ethical objection to this."

To my relief and pride, a former manager who is now a higher-ranking director came by my desk to acknowledge and praise those objections and celebrate the ideas I brought to the table. 

"Jeremy, your strength has always been your ability to see the human impact of an approach and point out the harm we could do. Never stop doing that." I've always held myself accountable only to myself and my morals, but having someone you respect who's also in a place of power recognize and nurture it is a pretty amazing feeling. And frankly, it gives me pride to work where I do, that we can see two paths and the leadership is nurturing us to take the just path, the fair path - the moral path. 

Last Friday, Wikipedia's featured photograph was the WW2 photograph "Wait for me Daddy". The photo shows a seemingly endless column of soldiers marching up a road. A small boy is running away from his mother to the outstretched hand of his father who is marching in the column. 

War is full of horrors, many that only those who fight them see. But these kinds of photos, or those videos of returning soldiers surprising their kids at school, trouble me deeply and really speak to the overall human cost of war. 

In his blog post last week, the Navigator talked about a theoretical situation where the US would invade Canada and what that war might look like. He also discusses some of that nuance about war - and what  justifies military action. I know I would take up arms without hesitation if my family, friends or home were under threat. But I could not bring myself to even consider going to Ukraine - even if the war is just. 

These two things have really collided in me over the past couple of days and have helped me put a label on how I truly see myself. Some would maybe describe me as a socialist or small "l" liberal. But that's never quite fit me as well as I'd like it to. I certainly lean that way but I'm more than capable of seeing how some small "c" conservative values are important. Libertarian just seems loaded with baggage but I feel like if I need to be on the spectrum, I'm somewhere in that area. And in an era where democracy feels like it's failing the majority and causing nothing but government standstill on issues - there's days where I think dictatorship could be more effective in just getting things done - but I'm not an authoritarian - I think fascism is abhorrent. 

This week, I think I'm a humanist. That I care more about people, experiences, rights and life. That we should be building each other up, not pursuing personal wealth or fame. 

Watching the massive political divide in our world today, seeing the differences between urban and rural worlds, I think all of us could come together around humanism. That we could start caring more about how we are treated and how we treat others. 

I don't know for sure. There's much philosophising needed in our world right now because I think the only thing that everyone agrees on is that no one is happy and shit ain't working out for anyone. I've really felt like I want to dedicate my time to making people smile, sing, feel free and be free. I'm tired of complaining, I want to take action. It might not be a protest. It might be helping to push a new Canadian out of a snowbank and offering some tips on how to drive. It might mean showing up at a lonely friends house with a guitar and some cookies. It might mean shutting off social media and going out for a walk with my dog and talking to my neighbours. 

It's time to be human. Again. 

Snow way!

I suppose I should be grateful, we got past mid-November before the white shit came. But I'm not. People in California don't have to blindly accept snow every November, so why should I? I didn't wear the right shoes out today, and I forgot my scarf. Basically dying. 

I'm entering that phase of life where I don't want to go on a hot holiday because it brings status, or it would be a fun outing. No. I want a hot holiday because my joints ache and my skin hurts. I need to lie on a beach, in swim trunks that I have no business wearing - or hell, find a good nude beach - and just soak up some solar radiation. Skin cancer? Bring it. I'm already well past my medieval prime, it's time to stop delaying the inevitable. 

There was a time when I had pride in my prairie resiliency. Today I realize I could write news releases and argue with people on social media from the Bahamas. Or Trinidad. I have a coworker from Trinidad and it sounds fabulous. 

Also - there is no heat at work right now, hasn't been for days and every time we ask Facilities to give us heat they gaslight us and say that it's coming. 

I think I'm ready to retire - to a pot of boiling water. 

20 years

Twenty years ago today I sat in a little corner office on the second floor of a four-plex townhouse I rented with my then-girlfriend in La Ronge. I moved to La Ronge that summer with her - she was pursuing a career in physical therapy and I was just wandering. "Chasing pussy up north," was how someone framed it for me. I tried to deny it then but in retrospect - I spent the year before and after that chasing that particular pussy places I never should have. But that's leaning into disrespectful language and bringing up some dumb behaviour on my part that doesn't really merit waxing nostalgic about. 

Sitting in that room I wrote the first post for this very blog page - Pilot's World. Reading back through that post and a few around it, it's clear that the blog was only part of my plan at the time. I wanted Pilot's World to be a bigger thing - somewhere to store links, blog, put up photos and just generally have an archive and playground to be creative online. In fact, I even found the start of what I wanted that page to be while putting today's post together. 

I know the idea of journalling was attractive to me - a very interesting full-circle moment considering my recent post where I mentioned journalling. I am glad to have those posts and entries now. Some are hard to read - they're cringe, depressing, or badly written. But I do enjoy being able to look back and remember some older times. 

Now, obviously, I did NOT blog on here for the entirety of those 20 years and it's only been in the past 6 months that I've even started blogging again. I outright missed celebrating the 10 and 15-year anniversary. But I am proud to have something that's been around for two decades and I'm very happy that I've found a newfound use for the blog. 

But writing this blog has had a major effect on my life. Certainly that young naive 23-year-old who started this blog had no idea that he could write for a living - let alone that 20 years later he'd be employed full-time doing many of the things he was practicing on this blog. I write, do social media and manage communities just like I did on Pilot's World in those first 8 years of this blog. Communication and creativity have always been my strengths. I just don't think I had the people around me to recognize it when I needed them to. 

And MY HOW I'VE GROWN. I've learned to proofread and edit - and not just like begrudgingly doing it either. I enjoy editing and even being edited. The finished product is so much better than the raw flow-of-consciousness work I used to do. It's bled into my personal projects and I enjoy making raw ideas into something that sparkles. 

And MY HOW THINGS ARE THE SAME. I still have that feeling in my gut that I haven't done my life's work. I've built a family, bought a house, put 17 years in with the same company, performed on albums and stages, hosted my own radio show - and yet I still don't have what I want yet. I haven't given up by any stretch but some days it seems like I'm more inclined to fade away than burn brightly. I dunno. Happy to have some things I can call my own, water them and watch them grow. 

So yeah. 20 years. I'd say that maybe I won't make another 20 but I didn't think this blog would last a week and here we are. Maybe in 2042 I'll be like "jeez it's been 20 years since I posted, I should put something up." Who knows. But until then, a toast to blogging, a toast to growth and a toast to the future. 

To everything there is a season

Last week as I was preparing supper I discovered a non-problem that I was making a problem. And the realization has become something of an obsession in the days since. You see, I had most of a nice meal planned. Some nice pork chops, a solid macaroni and cheese and... what for a vegetable? This is where I made a problem where there wasn't any.

You see, I had a big bag of carrots in the fridge that I knew I needed to use up. But there's this little gremlin in my brain - placed there in my youth - that says, "You can't make cooked carrots." Don't get me wrong here. I like cooked carrots just fine and the recipe I had in mind would pair quite well with the rest of the meal. But Dad didn't (and still doesn't) like cooked carrots when I was growing up so there's this weird GOTO routine that just goes around cooked carrots when the option is right in front of me. To make a long story short - I made the cooked carrots, they were excellent and I need to make them again. 

Re-examining some of these old rules and misconceptions has been a pretty big trend for me lately. I talked a few weeks ago about how I'd convinced myself I couldn't go solo, couldn't be a lead singer or that I couldn't finish a song. As soon as I challenged those conclusions, it became clear they weren't founded.

There are a few others there that have been important too. I always thought I needed to write my lyrics in a nice notebook with a pen. No sir I do not. In fact, lyric writing is very fast when I do it on my phone. I don't need a studio or expensive equipment to demo songs or record ideas. Again, my phone has been invaluable. In fact, as an overall music career tool, my smartphone has been an enormous efficiency. I've recorded videos, researched venues, kept track of my goals and managed my emails all through one device. 

In response to last week's mental health struggles, I visited my counsellor for a chat. Again, the misconceptions came up. For most of them, it was more "It's not that this didn't work - it just didn't work yet or it didn't work this time." I also found that while I was dismissing some conclusions about my own behaviour, I was finding out very quickly that maybe I should look at that closer. At the end of the session, we talked a bit about journaling. I mentioned how writing out what I wanted to talk to her about helped me put everything in perspective. The counsellor gave me some tips on journalling like how it could be one line. Like, "I feel depressed." 

But for me, the real epiphany was - it doesn't need to be in a notebook. Like with songwriting, I've convinced myself these important thoughts should be on pen and paper. Maybe some of that is my age, when I learned to write songs and journal - you did that on paper. As the internet reared its head, I moved journalling into this humble blog. But that proved to be very public and when you're writing a new song or talking about your depression, sometimes you don't want that public. So since last Thursday, I've just added to the original document I wrote with my discussion checklist and done exactly as suggested: Friday: "K made me feel anxious," Sunday: "Feeling depressed," and so on. The challenges for that will be to keep it up, occasionally journal the good things and include my body health stuff too. Rhonda has been trying to get me to journal my gout attacks and other health complaints. I can use the same document. 

The counsellor and I discussed the "seasons of life" at our session - how sometimes things start to change, we change and we need to adjust our behaviour accordingly. It's given me a lot of food for thought and I have about 3 weeks before our next session to ponder that, figure out what I want to make of it and then execute on that. But until then, I think I'm just going to spend time challenging myself whenever I say no. But also - I'm going to challenge myself when I say yes. Because there have been more than a few bad situations over the last decade that could have been avoided with a "no."

In which I'm not doing as well as I should be

The last couple of months have been crazy busy. Football, music, work, travel, and family have put me back into the "busy all the time" phase that I have not experienced since before the pandemic hit. My reaction to it has been positive—or at least I wish it was positive. 

I want to be happy about it. Life is short and staying inside feeling sorry for myself isn't a good way to use that limited time. But this weekend as I worked to finish up the last of my responsibilities to Jonas' football team, it became very clear that my anxiety was through the roof and that I was NOT doing ok at all. 

Now this doesn't come without real-world reasons. Rhonda was out of town so in addition to trying to manage the final moments of the football season and work on my music stuff, I was also the sole parent cooking, giving rides, and caring for the dogs all while trying to pull off a party for 45 people. By Saturday afternoon I realized that my blood was pins and needles and I couldn't get a good deep breath of air. 

At least this wasn't my first rodeo so I knew what was up - and somehow I had to manage that alone. Thankfully, the Navigator did a great post recently discussing his own challenges so I tried some of the things he was doing. But alas, I could not sit still to meditate (I felt full of adrenaline), couldn't find help around me and I generally just decided to strap in and just try and get through the weekend. Surely once the football stuff was done and Rhonda was back it'd all be good?

Wrong. 

It took something as simple as forgetting my coat at the venue where we did the football wrap-up to put me over. I didn't sleep all night obsessing over the jacket. 

Fret not dear reader, I'm taking some good steps to help. I am privileged, and for this scenario, I'm happy to lean on that privilege to get the help I need. I've booked myself in to see a councillor on Thursday and as an extra treat - I'm taking the day off to sleep in, maybe play some songs and have a nice long walk in the park. 

I've also had a serious talk with Rhonda about those feelings and asserted that I would not be participating in the social plans she has for the weekend. I think she's a bit disappointed but it's a damn sight better than me having a "menty B" at someone's party. Honestly, I need to get better at asserting my place sometimes and saying no when I don't want to go to a stupid party or hang out with people I don't really hold love or interest in. I mean Jesus, I went to a fucking art gala a couple weeks ago. What the hell was that about? 

Half of me wants to be thankful that we have resources around these days to help us deal when life gets stressful. But also, why is life so goddamn stressful? That's a subject that could fill a library I suppose. But there's a big part of me that just wishes life was less stressful so I didn't NEED to access mental health support. Frankly, I hate even having to think about it. I wanna be writing songs, maybe fixing my roof or playing with the dog. But instead, I gotta go have a chat with a stranger about why I spent last night wondering what the easiest way to get ketamine was. 

How does one conclude a post like that? I dunno. Life's a lot, I'm dealing with it and hopefully next Monday I'm laughing at my weak-ass, out of balance brain. If not, maybe next week is "Pilot's World on Location from the Psych Ward!"

 

Peeled the Onion

Last week I spent some time  prolestysising about goals and timelines for the comedy music thing. I don't know if it was just the talking it out but let's say I made some faster progress than I promised. 

Yeah I finally pulled off the bandaid and hit the stage. 

In "5 Tight Minutes", Stu Cassel really champions performing live. Get on stage and get on stage early. I wanted to give myself a good run up time since I needed to get some songs together and rehearse. But a strong deadline was important. That's said, I was getting worried that I was taking too long. 

I met my old work friend, Gilly, for coffee last week and we talked about the music we were playing and The Cure open mic. Before we were done, I'd committed to bringing the guitar out. 

A kick in the ass ain't a bad thing. Within the week not only have I committed to that performance but I'm also making a plan to hit one Nov 13 in Saskatoon (hear that Navigator?) and I'm going to apply for my first real gig before the end of the week. That could have me playing my first real gig as early as December. 

Shit moves fast. 

The fact is I have the material I need to get started and I've known my first steps a long time. So let's run. 

The vibe at The Cure is always impeccable and the Open Mic was immaculate. I ended up performing near the end of the night, third from last. 

I'm super happy with the set. I played "Guitar Picks and Pocket Knives" and "Fucking Fridge". People loved that last one. 

So yeah. Off and running. Holy crap.

Big thanks to Gilly for supporting me and coming out to cheer me on. He also took that photo of me at the top. Cheers bud!

State of the onion

Back in July, I hinted that I wanted to start a new humour music project. It's been three months since I made that commitment so it's a good time to take stock, review what I've achieved and clarify my goals for the next three months.

Taking on a project like this comes with so many challenges and tasks. One of the earliest things I did to kickstart the project was to start a Google Document called "Humour Project". I have it broken down into categories including:

• timeline/goals, 
• songs I've written, 
• songs I need to finish, 
• ideas for songs, 
• venues,
• photo/bio ideas
• one-liners/heckles and banter
• instrumentation ideas
• merch ideas

Many sections aren't filled in yet and others are a mess but it's nice to have everything in one place and easy to find. Well mostly - I'll get to that part next. The idea of having a master document to work off of came from advice I saw in a reel by Thor, often known as Pirate Software on YouTube. The man is simply full of wisdom but his recommendation to have a design document if you're going to make a game was similar to many strategic planning documents I've done in the past and even if it's rough and disorganized, what I have is better than nothing and can always be improved and referenced. It's done wonders to keep myself accountable. 

This morning I caught this great video about Prince's work ethic. The video talks about what we as artists can learn from how Prince made his music broken down into six lessons we can learn from the man in purple:

1. Work fast
2. Become a finisher
3. Abandon perfectionism
4. Make art every day
5. Sleep and
6. Have a vault mentality

The first four lessons were all things I'd already been working on. I needed to shake a lot of my misconceptions about how I made music and what I sound like to make this project progress. I've done really well with those things, resulting in some really satisfying results, like this fun little song I posted last Friday. Or even the video I did for Pizzamas last week. Sleep and rest are aspects I'll need to keep in mind but not a concern right now.

The vault mentality lesson is one that I've naturally been doing a bit of but in watching the video, I realized I need to be more purposeful about it. To the point that I think I need to add it to my project design document. The argument in the video is that Prince wasn't so much working on being famous or making money as he was building his legacy. To have a legacy, you need to have an archive or a vault to collect and store your work. 

I've been doing this a bit. Not so much to create a legacy as much as just to try and organize the heap of ideas I have and make them accessible. Over the past three months, I've set aside about an hour a week to get my Google Drive in order and put lyrics and demos together. It's far from where it needs to be and I have plenty more I want to do. This video reinforced the importance of that work and I think I might bump up my vault work time a bit every week - at least until I have everything working the way I want it to. I still need to figure out how to make my phone automatically back up my demos onto my Google Drive. 

Creation-wise, I've been doing extremely well. I have about 7 songs that are basically done, and I've chosen two to develop into a "tight 5 minutes." I've had November 4 circled on my calendar for weeks, that is the date I want to head over to The Cure and play at the open mic. Go play my 5 minutes and see how people respond. From there, I want to hit a separate open mic in the following 2-3 weeks at a different location to try the same set. Beyond that, I'd like to hit up The Cure again before the end of the year with a second set of new material, repeat at another open mic and so on. 

I'm frankly shocked at how prolific I've been. Sometimes it's in spurts of little song snippets, sometimes it's entire songs flowing out in an hour or so. With a strong set of goals and a developing vault, I've been able to turn these snips into songs. While I'm only at 7 fully written tracks, I don't think I'd be exaggerating much to say I've got about 50 ideas in various stages that will become something in time. Being prolific like that is nice for the ego but it also means I'll have a lot to choose from - and a lot to throw away - as I move through this. 

There are many things I still need to nail down. I don't exactly know what name I want to brand this project under. I've gone through a few including my usual nickname Pilot or trying to use a name I've always had around, The Spurge. The one I've landed on so far and will probably use on Nov 4 is just the monomer "Jeremy". It's an awkward, stupid name with some meme history. It does tend to bump into the Pearl Jam song, but maybe I can use that to my advantage. 

I'm also working on the supplemental instrumentation for this project and I can't quite decide how to roll it out. I'll be using the kazoo as my "lead" instrument but I'm not well practiced yet and I can't quite figure out how I'll play it while also playing guitar. I have an around-the-neck harmonical holder and I've also thought of building some kind of clip to go on a mic stand. The jury is still out on that one. I think I'll do the first few performances without it until I have a bit more confidence. I've had a few other instrument ideas that I hope to incorporate in time too. 

Finally, I've done well carving out the time for this and finding space to do it in. I haven't been able to do exactly what I've envisioned but I'm really happy with my tenacity. I find time every day or so to practice, organize and learn. I've started taking lessons and this weekend I tried out using one of the Regina Public Library's studios to do some practicing and writing. 

Overall, I'm shocked at how well all of this has gone. I don't know why I'm shocked, nothing I'm doing or planning is outside of my talent, ability or experience. I think the biggest reason is that I had built up all of these misconceptions about myself: I can't finish a song, I can't play solo, I don't know how to play guitar and sing, I'm not funny, I can't sing, I can't... and on and on. Once you stop worrying about what you can't do and focus on what you can, things all of a sudden open up in front of you. I've felt so positive and used this as a springboard to connect with friends, be creative, boost my ego a bit and feel like I'm actually doing something. 

Something for me. 

I could go on and on but this post is long enough for today I suppose. Hopefully, I can post a bit of a review or post-analysis of my first live performance in a couple of weeks. And of course, if this keeps working for me, I'm sure there will be plenty more to say here as time rolls on. 

Folk off

As someone with a deep-rooted obsession with music, the concept of musical genres is always a part of the conversation when I talk about music. But the deeper you dive into the concept of genres, the more you realize how much of a human construct they are. 

I'm not just talking about the granular dissection of a genre like Heavy Metal (Medieval Electronic Swedish Christian death-core anyone?), but how two songs by the same artist can sound vastly different and yet be categorized in the same genre. Or, on the other hand, how two very similar songs can be categorized differently because of the approach of the artist or just the environment where it was built. I think that is why no one can figure out if Motorhead is a metal or punk. Or why AC/DC is a metal band and not a punk band. 

Putting music into groups does have its benefits. It helps artists get their work into the hands of consumers who will be interested in it and helps listeners choose the music that best fits their mood or surroundings. When The Navigator and I broadcast The Cockpit, I'd often describe what we played as "anything that falls under the rock genre." That's a pretty broad statement that could run from the early blues-rock of Chuck Berry, thrash metal or even folk rock. And it still doesn't completely capture what the show was about or what we were trying to do. But it at least put people in the right ballpark. 

One of the genres that has always been at odds in my head is folk music. On the surface, there's really not a lot to be concerned about. Most people have a pretty good grasp of what folk music is - generally played on an acoustic guitar or other acoustic instruments, good vocals, usually strong harmonies and the subject matter is typically geared towards the working person, maybe including protest or storytelling as the subject matter. Songs you can sing around the campfire kinda stuff. 

But when you look at the history of the genre, it all ties back to music for the folks. Stuff you would sing and perform with your friends and family - literally that "around the campfire stuff." Not complicated and approachable - stuff you sing together. And this is where this genre name and definition fall apart for me. 

So let's look at some of those key definitions in point form for clarity. Folk music is:

• Music you can perform and participate in with friends, family and community
• Music that is easy to perform
• Music that tackles subjects important to the everyday person including poverty, politics and storytelling.

So is rap music or punk music folk? Those genres meet the criteria. Is Bruce Springsteen a folk singer? We might say he's rock n' roll but his subject matter seems awful folky and songs like "The Ghost of Tom Joad" are solidly folk tunes. 

Now obviously, when we say "folk music," we're trying to describe that acoustic/vocal style. And I'm not trying to change the world there. Call it "Kumbaya Music" for all I care, I understand that people are just trying to describe that particular thing. I think I'm just looking for a way to describe music for the people. Music that isn't made because there's money but because there's something to say. Music that connects people. Music that's more at home around the campfire or in a shitty pub than it is in an arena or festival. 

So what the folk am I talking about?

Well, I guess I'm just trying to say that sometimes we need to step back from genres, categories and labels and look at what the music does to people - how people use it. Rap, punk and folk might all sound like completely different things but they all do serve a similar purpose. I don't think it's a coincidence that people consider Woody Guthrie the first punk rocker. 

What the folk do you think? Leave me a comment 

Happy Pizzamas!

A very happy Pizzamas! 

What the heck is Pizzamas? Well, I'm relatively new to the movement and if you look it up you'll mostly find that it doesn't really mean anything. But stuff does happen during Pizzamas. 

At its core, Pizzamas is a 2-week celebration of very old internet inside jokes, John Green with a moustache (called "Pizza John") and raising money to reduce or eliminate maternal mortality. I'm on board just to buy a shirt that says "Pizza", supports artists and helps babies who need the support. But add bad nerd jokes and an excuse to make pizza and I'm here. Overall, it's a couple of weeks celebrated by Nerdfighteria, championed by the Vlog Brothers, John Green and Hank Green. 

One of the challenges the Green Brothers give themselves during Pizzamas is to post daily like they did in the days of old. While the re-launch of Randomjunkification and Pilot's World is inspired by the Vlog Bros. I really wasn't in the mood to blog every day this week. But I did want to challenge myself a bit. 

I've been toying with a song called "Punk Rock Pizza Party" over the last few weeks and I figured, getting a demo of the song down for Pizzamas would be a good challenge that would help me get the song into some kind of finished form and observe one of the fun parts of Pizzamas. 

It's a bit rough, there are a few lines that need to be rewritten but overall, I'm happy to show you a brand-new song. Here is "Punk Rock Pizza Party".

Originally, I'd hoped to integrate some of Hank Green's jokes into the lyrics. I hoped to make it a bit more collaborative and bring some of that Pizzamas feel to it. Not to mention since I'm trying to do a humour music project, I needed some jokes to work with. 

There were plenty of jokes in the first draft of the lyrics, but it was super awkward. I did a full rewrite of the lyrics and they make way more sense now, but they're really not that funny. Maybe a bit silly. 

Some Pizzamas stuff did survive though. I've got a great reference to "None pizza with left beef" from The Sneeze and I've included one of Hank's jokes in the form of the "no matter how you slice it" line. Unfortunately, the lyric doesn't fit very nicely in the melody there. 

Hey, it's a demo, there's lots of work to do yet. I'd love to play this one with a full 3-piece band and some gang vocals. Maybe someday! 

Hope you enjoyed and Happy Pizzamas! 

Reconciliation

 When the Truth and Reconciliation Commission issued its 94 Calls to Action in 2015, I immediately began pondering what my role should be in Reconciliation. At the time, I was just starting as a volunteer host at CJTR (discussed in a post earlier this year). It was immediately obvious that I had a platform I could use to amplify Indigenous voices and share some kick-ass music from some kick-ass people. So I declared then and there that I'd work hard to include an Indigenous performer in every playlist. I can't say I was successful, but I did try hard, I learned about a ton of great music and I think I managed to spotlight some great music. 

It's been nearly 4 years since The Cockpit came in for its final landing but the pipelines I'd built to find new music and expand my horizons are still there. I still hear about amazing stuff all the time - I just haven't had that big platform to share them on anymore. 

Last week, I had a great hit from one of those pipelines in the form of a cool article from CBC Indigenous about Indigenous punk music and the scene that's existed for decades. While the article (and accompanying podcast) is more tailored to groups from the United States, there is still a Canadian connection there. As I chased down all the new paths this article (and the Instagram account it discusses) opened up for me, the BC scene really seemed to blossom.

Of course, this isn't my first foray into Indigenous punk. I've been a fan of Dead Pioneers for a long time and there are a few bands from around Turtle Island that I've listened to, gone to shows and talked to. Always great people, and always have important things to say.

But punk music, rock music or in general the music I listen to isn't the only way I've connected with Indigenous people through music. I went to the Roughrider/Redblacks football game this weekend with Jonas. The game celebrated the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation and I was really taken by how good the drum performance was before the game. The Wooden Face Singers filled Mosaic Stadium with a moving tribute to those who have passed on and I realized how much my appreciation for Indigenous drumming has grown. I'm getting good at telling the difference between a good group and one that needs some practice!

There was a time, early in my music career, when I really wanted to integrate drumming into a song (or many songs). I felt (as I often still do) that I didn't have a strong cultural background to identify with and wanted to find a place in the culture of the people who are native to Canada. I've grown a lot since that time and I understand that those desires amount to cultural appropriation - in a very real way. I wanted to use their culture to define mine. And that's not right. 

But there's part of me that still hasn't given up on the idea. I DO appreciate drumming, it's strong, emotional and connected to the land. It's closer to me and the life I live than any French or Swiss traditions that might actually make up my DNA. But I would approach it from a completely different angle. I hope someday that I make a strong connection with an Indigenous artist and they want me to contribute some of my culture while they contribute their own. In the spirit of reconciliation, I hope someday to make music TOGETHER instead of TAKING and make something great that everyone can enjoy.

But until then, have a good Truth and Reconciliation Day. I hope you find a way to walk along the path with people in your community. 

Chuck Berry - Rock God and Madman

 Leaning into developing and producing a solo musical project over the last few months has been a very satisfying use of my spare time. I'm realizing that I had built up a wall of misconceptions about myself during my musical journey and knocking down some of those misconceptions has shown me a vista of possibilities that I simply wasn't seeing before. 

As happens with so many creative projects, my inspiration and skill have hit a plateau over the last few weeks. I'm still picking up the guitar and playing my heart out but it really feels like I'm just using the same bag of tricks over and over again. In an effort to bring myself some new skills and inspiration, I signed up for my first-ever guitar lessons.

FIRST EVER?! Yeah. I've never taken lessons to play bass or guitar. I've learned plenty from friends and fellow bandmates, learned to play by ear very early and I've used countless books, followed by websites to learn new skills, theory and songs. But I've never like paid someone to show me how to hold my hands. I'm stubborn and cheap. 

In a fascinating alignment of the stars, one of my favourite YouTube guitarists, The Samurai Guitarist from Winnipeg, posted a really great video called "This sounds UNBELIEVABLY cool (seems IMPOSSIBLE)". In the video, he examines this weird triple bend thing as performed by western-style picker Jerry Donahue. Sammy G. breaks down why this little trick is so amazing then proceeds to break down the "riff" and show his struggle over the course of about a week as he practices the trick. His level of guitar nerdom over this little riff spoke to me. As someone who's worn off fingertips and split off all my fingernails trying to master Victor Wooten tricks I totally got it. And showing that week of struggle and effort illustrated what it takes to figure that stuff out. It's a lot but really - a week of practice is totally achievable for anyone that wants to play. 

Perhaps it's no coincidence then that he also had an advertisement for his new Samurai Guitar Dojo in the video. At $7.50 a month - it's a steal of a way to build some new skills. I was sold. Plus who doesn't want to be trained by a samurai? I'm already sharpening my shuriken for week 4.

The first set of lessons focuses on how to solo using blues double stops. As Sammy G. notes, this kind of soloing is probably best heard played by Chuck Berry or by Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones. While I've been doing ok learning the technique of it all, I was feeling like my improvisation was falling a bit flat so I went out on a search for some Chuck Berry songs to inspire me. I could have gone with the 'Stones but I don't like Mick Jagger and now that Charlie Watts has died, there's no one good left in the band. 

So Chuck Berry it is.

While I don't think I'd ever describe myself as a super-fan of Chuck Berry, I've always loved his music and I mourned his passing in 2017 alongside the rest of the rock-and-roll world. 

By the time I was born in 1981, Chuck's best work was long behind him and he was firmly entrenched in the nostalgia circuit. But as a kid who came of age in the 80's and 90's, Chuck Berry was very much there. From Back to the Future to the Beethoven movies, not to mention the rest of his amazing catalogue on constant rotation on one of my favourite radio stations, CHAB in Moose Jaw, Chuck Berry's music was always on the radar. 

But I'd never really done a deep dive into Chuck and hadn't taken the time to relax and watch him play live. He's a madman (which if you read his bio... yeah). My favourite performance was from very deep into that "nostalgia circuit" and was a performance he put on at the BBC studios in 1972 backed by Rocking Horse. The very first song in the set is "Roll Over Beethoven". It starts off normal enough, he approaches the mic, starts the song and just seems like a pretty relaxed guy doing a spot-on performance of one of his biggest hits. But then the solo hits and my GOD you can see him crack. Like his sanity drains out. Have a gander:

That stare he gives the piano player is kinda chilling. 

Of course, Chuck always had the best solos. They're not complicated, and as I'm working through these lessons, I'm seeing that they really are just a few simple elements. But he PERFORMED. There's a very old clip from 1958 in Belgium where he performs "Johnny B Goode" during his prime. He plays the notes with his fingers but he performs the solo with his legs and feet. Crazy.

So has my soloing improved? No. Not really. But I did learn that I just need to be ok with the fact that I've only been given the first couple of tools and that there's more to come. I mean I'm only soloing on the A chord so far. In a couple days, I get to see what I can do with the E and the D! So there's plenty of room to improve! 

But I've a fresh appreciation for Chuck Berry and I realize more clearly than ever how everyone who's come since, all of us who have done anything that's an offshoot of pure rock n' roll are just copying Chuck. There's a little Chuck in everything we do. 

*** I'm fully aware of Chuck Berry's problematic history of sexual assault and violence. I acknowledge that many people may have been hurt. I also acknowledge that as a black man in the 1950's, the world was looking for a way to knock him down a few pegs. Like so many cultural icons who we would later learn were kinda shitty in their everyday life, I struggle to come to terms with both sides of this coin. I will say that unlike many of the people we've seen "cancelled" over the last decade, Chuck Berry did time in prison and served his debt to society. It doesn't forgive anything and we must all look at this through both lenses. I will appreciate and understand his contributions to culture, but I will not celebrate his abuse. 

Reflecting on history during an unusual anniversary

They say one of the hallmarks of being a Millennial is that this particular generation has lived through repeated "world-changing" events. Since I was born in 1981, I sit right on the cusp of Generation X and Millenials - I like to say that my cultural tastes are Gen X but my bank account is solidly Millenial. No matter which generation you wrap me in, I've seen supertall skyscrapers fall, stock markets crash, journalists beheaded, lived through a pandemic and as we speak - watched the beginning of the fall of Western democracy. 

Last Wednesday marked the 23rd anniversary of the September 11 attacks - the first of those paradigm-shifting events that I would witness in my adult years. Twenty-three years ago I showed up for work in my first week of training at the Sears Call Centre in Regina Saskatchewan. As I walked through the office on the 4th floor that morning I overheard people around the office talking about airplanes hitting the World Trade Center, and another plane hitting the Pentagon and thinking to myself, "What movie did they see last night?" My innocence only lasted maybe another minute before I reached the training room and learned what had really happened. 

Everything changed. We all knew it then and looking back on it 23 years later, we can certainly see it now. This morning I watched a YouTube video called "a deep dive into the impact of 9/11 on pop culture" that highlights the struggles and changes we all saw then. I remember the discussion of humour and "how soon" being an ongoing conversation after but it also reminded me of the censorship and whitewashing that happened afterwards. Movies that had been made years before the events that may have even incidentally featured the WTC had the buildings removed. It's as though the terrorists didn't just destroy the buildings in New York, they somehow erased them from history. 

But while we all swore to "never forget", like all things, in time the memory of the events of that day faded and for many of us who weren't in New York that day - life went on. Even if it had changed. 

But it all came back for me earlier this year when I was led to National Geographic's phenomenal documentary on that day, "9/11: One Day in America". It features interviews with people who were in the building, around the building and in New York that day. It leans heavily on the film shot by Jules Naudet on the day, a film I had seen before but never understood had been taken by one person and followed a single fire chief from the very start of the event when the plane hits the first tower until after it had fallen. 

Somehow, 23 years later, this documentary was almost more horrific than the initial events. At least it re-surfaced the trauma of that day and taught me some of the horrors experienced by the people involved in a way I'd never heard of. Stories of people encountering still-alive passengers from the planes (albeit barely), the shocking experiences of people who watched the plane hit from inside the building and the horrific bravery of the firefighters and police officers who started climbing the steps, fully aware they'd never walk back down them. 

It makes me realize that those of us outside of New York (and indeed Washington) had been insulated from the day. We had the truth censored, usually out of respect for the victims, but maybe also so we could continue on. We all know about the jumpers and we've seen photos and videos of them falling - I've never seen them land and never want to. But in the documentary, you can hear them land - and that's horrible enough. And sometimes we didn't learn because we really didn't know - some of these stories have taken years to surface. 

And maybe I just chose to see it through a lens. Being thousands of miles away, in a different country with different experiences, maybe I chose to only see the parts that served me. Like many, I watched those events and my first question was, "What did the U.S. do to cause someone to respond like this?" Nothing that happened that way was just but it's also clear that people don't perform suicide attacks on office workers if they're being treated well. I don't buy into conspiracy theories about Bush doing 9/11 - but I also don't buy the narrative that the U.S. is an immaculate house on a hill - an argument that's much easier to make in 2024 than it was in 2001. 

But we all have a lens. One of the repeated statements from eyewitnesses and victims of that day is about how gorgeous a day it was. Clear blue skies - no cloud in sight. But that's not my memory of the day. I watched the attacks and the buildings collapse on an old TV with bunny ears picking up the broadcast of a local station. The reception was terrible and the images were mostly in black and white which caused the sky to look grey and depressing. Even after 23 years of seeing full-colour photos of the day, my mind still remembers a cloudy morning. 

I've never been to New York, but that city has constantly touched my life. Television, music, movies and world history have all happened in the Big Apple and been broadcast to the world. Twenty-three years after this attack, we still see the effects - both negative and positive - throughout our culture. I often wonder if the terrorists knew just how far-reaching their attack would be both geographically, socially and through time. I suppose it doesn't matter what they intended, it happened it is for us to react, respond and remember. 

"He never goes anywhere"

I've been trying to write a song over the last few weeks about how I never travel. It's got some good musical elements but lyrically, there's not a lot there to work with yet. The downside of discussing not doing something is that there's no experience to talk about. But this weekend I took a trip to Toronto and brought my notebook should any inspiration come up. 

We arrived in Toronto on Saturday morning and were immediately picked up by my sister Michelle who whisked us off to Burlington to watch my niece, Adelle, do some cheerleading before zipping off to Niagara Falls. Why was Michelle so committed to taking me to the falls? Well, I've never been so that's something but it came out while we were there that Mom instructed her to take me because, "He never goes anywhere." 

Touche. 

But it's true. I rarely go far, most of the time it's just camping. Or if I do go somewhere it's for work. I mean - I flew to Winnipeg to see Tool last year and saw Queens of the Stoneage in Saskatoon. That's something, right? 

The Niagara Falls are very cool but only for about 30 minutes. I'm glad it was tacked on to another trip because I would have felt bad going all that way to be delighted for just a little while. We also had a grand time at a winery where my newfound teetotalling made me a punching bag for the winery staff. But the cheese guy loved me. 

Visit my Instagram post about this day.

Sunday was concert day. We spent much of the day zipping around downtown Toronto, pretending to grab the CN tower, navigating TO's horror of a transit system and visiting with the rays at Ripley's Aquarium. 

The show was amazing featuring three bands I hold on a pedestal; Dinosaur Jr., The Flaming Lips and Weezer.

Dinosaur Jr. was one of the bands I was most excited to see and strangely, the one I've listened to the longest. The song "Out There" was featured on the Wayne's World soundtrack, my first CD, and while many would find it to be discordant and maybe a bit weak vocally, I was in love then and I was in love again on Saturday. My biggest complaint is that they only played 25 minutes. Don't drag a band that far just to make them play a short set. I'm going to try and see them again someday. 

After the pandemic and the difficulties that hit the live music industry, I had convinced myself I'd never see the Flaming Lips live. They are a special band to me, Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots is one of my favourite albums and "Do You Realize" was the song Rhonda and I chose for our first dance at the wedding. The Flaming Lips were beautiful live, the harmonies were even more layered and gorgeous than the albums. I spent much of the performance weeping and wishing for better seats. 

The set for Weezer wasn't that new. We'd seen them in Saskatoon in 2017 (Saskatoon, South Africa according to the typo on the concert t-shirt I bought). The set this time covered the same ground. The difference was the very theatrical production. It took the whole show to another level. There's nothing more fun than watching awkward nerd musicians trying to act. Plus any chance to hear the Blue Album live is a good one. I hope to repeat this trip in a couple years when Pinkerton hits its 30th anniversary. 

Thanks to a very late departure from Pearson, we also had much of Sunday to run amok in the '6. We spent the day on and around Queen St, checking out the pretentious shops, visiting the endless Graffiti Alley and Rhonda even managed to get a pole dance class in during the afternoon. A wonderful hour I spent watching squirrels in Trinity Belwoods Park. 

Overall - a massive success of a trip. We packed a lot of good times into those three days, I've only really scratched the surface between this post and the Instagram posts about the trip. It's hard to wrap up the chaos, the new sights and everything that happened. I can say for sure that this old hayseed had a great time in the Golden Horseshoe. And this old hayseed is glad to be back somewhere familiar where he can run with some of the inspiration derived from the weekend. 

I do want to highlight how amazing it was to share the weekend with Rhonda. It was a "birthday, Christmas, anniversary and promotion" gift and while I wish we didn't need a reason, I'd take one good trip with her over a dozen presents any time. Our adventures are rare but they're epic and the memories of this trip won't soon fade. 

Football - a lament

I should feel better about this past weekend. Not only did I get to attend two live football games, one included my current favourite team - the Regina Peewee Vikings, and the other was the Labour Day Classic with my usual favourite - the Saskatchewan Roughriders. 

I always say that a close football game is a good game. And indeed for both games, that was the case. Either team had the win up until the last moments of the game. But I would have preferred some wins. 

For the Vikings, they suffered their first defeat (and first points scored against them) this weekend. With a 22-16 finish, it wasn't that bad and the players need to experience a team that was hard to beat. On the positive side, Jonas finally got a few hits and pushes during the game and is really taking to football.

We found out late on Saturday that we'd also come into some free tickets to the Labour Day game. I don't remember the last time I went, but it was back when Bombers fans were a fun group to pick on. This time, they just seemed annoying. Most of it really was in good fun but when a particularly drunk mongoloid of a fan started picking on me in the 3rd quarter - well I lowered my shoulder and got to firing back. I don't think he really liked me reminding him to wash his hands when he was done in the bathroom. Probably doesn't know how soap works. 

No matter how much their fans smelled like rotten onions, the Bombers came to play football and held on to win the game 33-30. Another close match I wish we'd won. But the Riders are struggling through this second third of the season and need to figure out how they'll fix things to finish off the 2024 run. 

It was a jam-packed weekend with lots of socializing and events. I'm happy I survived but it's the first time in a while I've been happy to be back at work so I can catch a break. And next weekend is going to be even busier. More on that in next week's post (hint: it will be my first Pilot's World on location in ages and in a completely new place the blog hasn't visited before).

Parenting Realized

One of the biggest parts of my life that's been missed in the Great Non-Bloggening, and indeed part of the reason for non-blogging, is parenting three fascinating children - Tai Lin, Kayah and Jonas. Three amazing people, each with something marvellous to offer the world and endless potential. 

So, a real pain in the ass.

I can't say that I've really taken to parenting. I take it seriously and do my best to give them everything they need but were I to make the choice with today's knowledge - I dunno. I know I've never achieved the kind of "parenting is so special" feelings that my mom and others push on me. It's been a lot of hard work with very few benefits coming back my way. 

But this past Friday was different. 

Over the past year and a bit, Jonas has taken to football. He plays constantly in the schoolyard with his friends and has even broken his nose a few times going for a pass. So when he approached us begging to play tackle football in the Regina Minor Football league, who was I to say no? 

We got him signed up and started in. He was assigned to the Peewee Vikings, a fortuitous team assignment since the Minnesota Vikings are the favourite team of Jonas's papacy-pursuing grandpa. As things got rolling for the team, a call went out for volunteers to coach and manage. I have no experience coaching and some recent health issues mean that I might not have the mobility needed to coach so I put my hand up to manage. 

Not my smartest move. 

Managing has been a bigger challenge than I ever expected. Since none of my kids have done sports at this level, there's a lot that I didn't know about the culture and way of things. I'm learning but it's been a very steep curve and a lot of work. Add to that the fact that the person who was going to co-manage and mentor me a bit has been absent and largely an issue herself and - it's been frustrating. 

But boy when those kids get out on the field to play. After two games, the team is not only undefeated but they haven't let their opposing teams score a single point. All thanks to Jonas's impenetrable defensive line! 

The game this last Friday was extra exciting. Not only did they produce a 50-0 finish, but Jonas made his first big play this weekend with a fantastic interception. To celebrate, we went out for wings at Jonas's request. I was advised that the phrase was "winner, winner, chicken dinner." Who am I to argue.

Watching Jonas take so strongly to something, enjoy himself deeply and just excel at it has given me a taste of that satisfaction in parenting. Friday night might have been one of the happiest evenings I've had in a while, just celebrating his victories and feeling like my efforts have been for the right cause. 

And there's a lot more to it than the victories. Getting the chance to talk with Jonas on the drive to practice, sharing new stories, watching him face discipline and adversity and pushing through and just generally watching him grow and come out of his shell. It's very satisfying. 

And of course, it's given me the chance to enjoy Jonas's fantastic humour. He's always been funny, from a little baby, this kid knew how to laugh and make people laugh. Every time he's been in deep trouble, it's been a joke he took too far. 

After his first game, I noted to him that the first play off the game was on the 44-yard line, the final score was 44-0 and his jersey number is 44. How did he reply?

"Woah. I'm the main character."

Main character indeed. I better not tell him he caught that interception on the 44-yard line. 

The Room

I think that eveyone wants a place to call their own. I certainly can't say that I'm underprivileged in this respect. I have a wall in the garage to store my tools, a corner in the office for my amp and a little desk to pile all the crap I never complete on. Not to mention that I've basically sculpted the kitchen in my image. But these places have never quite added up to the space that I've always wanted.  

But these little corners crammed in amongst the living space I share with my family has never quite met my vision of a space to escape to and be creative. 

I think the first time that I really saw the kind of thing I was looking for was Le Studio, the maker space used by one of my favourite food YouTubers, Alex "French Guy" Cooking. I liked the idea of having two disparate creative spaces in such close proximity - and it had never occurred to me to put a kitchen and workshop together. And I continue to think that maybe it isn't a good idea anyway. I'm not one for sawdust in my macaroni salad. 

But I would love to have a space that is a bit sound/practice studio, a bit workshop, a bit hangout space and a bit office/den. I think I can keep the kitchen where it is. 

In many ways, I could probably make this happen now with the resources I have. As mentioned, I have some space in the garage but there's limitations there. It's not heated so it becomes unuseable for about 5 months a year, especially for a hangout or studio. The basement is a space I could make fantastic use of but the ceiling is shorter than I am and there is a serious shortage of lighting and electrical outlets. 

But of course, I often think about how much I'm flexing my privilege just by wanting a space like this. I'm lucky enough to be a homeowner and that reality alone makes it possible to have the little cubbies I do. Perhaps in time I'll put together some money to update the electrical in the basement or weather proof the garage. And I suppose the biggest thing is figuring out if I could even justify the cost and effort of having such a space. It's one thing to dream about it, it's another altogether to actually find a use for it. 

What kind of spaces would you like to put together like Le Studio? Is it required by law to have a pinball table in it?  

The big Lie

 I've really been enjoying the return to blogging over the last few months. It's a fun creative outlet and I finally have somewhere to dump my tirades and deluded manifestos. But saying that this return to blogging is a 2024 trend is not quite the truth. 

No, I'm not talking about my recent move into professional communications. I do spend a lot of time writing articles, news releases and other stuff that could be called "blogs". But that's not what I'm talking about.

This is hard to admit. 

I'm a food blogger. 


If it's any consolation, I'm not a good one. In fact, I'm downright lazy about it. 

It came from repeated requests from all three of the kids to start writing down the recipes of the food I make for them. Fried rice, "homemade" hamburger helper, pizza, corn salad, lemonade and a million more recipes are a big part of my family's diet and something that the kids want to preserve and carry on. I'm honoured. I suppose. 

Typically, the request was that I should write a cookbook. But I haven't used a cookbook in decades and I've noticed that this internet thing doesn't seem to be going anywhere. So I figured why not start a food blog with my recipes.

And so was born An Orange Kitchen. 

I don't post very often, and I find it challenging to put into words some recipes that are more about technique than they are ingredients. It's why my pizza and fried rice recipes still haven't been posted.

The only rule I have for the blog is no preamble. The recipe must come first. I can (and do) post-amble, it's fine to give a recipe a story or some context. But no one... hold on a sec. FOOD BLOGGERS PAY ATTENTION - NO ONE WANTS TO READ YOUR LIFE STORY WHEN THE'RE TRYING TO GET A RECIPE FOR SOUVLAKI. It can wait until I learn how much pork I need. 

I do hope to continue contributing recipes, maybe get a bit motivated to write up the more complex ones and who knows - maybe one day I'll put some money down and get the recipes bound up into a book I can give out as a present. But for now, it's a work in progress. And it's a lie. A big old lie. 

Squeezing humour out of a stone

 A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I'd found some new inspiration and was working on doing a music/humour project. It's been a bit frustrating trying to find the time to work on the project but I'm happy to report that I've got 4 songs in various levels of completion and a notepad full of more ideas. Really it's just capacity slowing me down. 

I picked up some books recently to help me along the path, 5 Tight Minutes, A guide to Joke Writing, Performing and Selling and Comedy Writing Self-Taught Workbook. I don't have a comedy mentor to ask questions of and I'd really like to make my first public appearance with some level of study and expertise. Today's blog post is based on Exercise 6 from the Self-Taught Workbook - In the News. 

The exercise challenges the reader to find a news article, become familiar with it, then answer a series of questions in a funny or humourous way. So let's give it a shot! 

The first challenge is just picking a news article. Not all news can be laughed at, at least not at first so you've got to walk a particular line when picking. For my part, I chose "Saskatchewan moves to restrict cellphone use in all K-12 schools."

Now let's find the funny!

Who is affected by this?

The people who are most affected by this change are the teachers who can no longer depend on cell phones to distract students when there's no good lesson plan. Teachers across the province are being forced to re-learn the rules for 7-Up

Who is happy about this?

Finally, those nuts at the farmer's market talking about the dangers of 5G and contrails are having their voices heard. At least for 8 hours a day, our kids will be protected from damaging radiation. Still no word on fluoride in school water. 

Who is upset about this? 

Saskatchewan parents are most upset about this change as they now have to listen to their school age children complain about not having their phones in class. For the first time in over a decade, parents and their kids are being forced to interact using their voice boxes. 

What would happen if this happened at a different point in history?

Had this kind of ban happened in the late 1800's it's possible that the entire Communist uprising of the 1900s would not have occurred. By taking away the means of communication from students, such toxic ideas would not have been spread and perhaps we could have avoided a long and costly Cold War. Unfortunately, the means for banning cell phones did not exist in the late 1800s. 

Will it affect daily life?

Yes, students will now awake to the world around them and finally realize that our schools are under-funded and falling apart. 

Will it affect my wallet?

This will have a terrible effect on my wallet when my kids have their phones taken away and convince me that I need to buy replacements so that I'm able to continue communicating with them at home. 

What changes will take place because of this? 

Phone charging demands will plummet across the province. This will lead to a surplus of energy in the provincial power grid and facilitate the decommissioning of several coal-powered electrical facilities. The resulting reduction in greenhouse gases will cause winter to start two months early in the province, draining municipal snow removal budgets, bankrupting the province. 

How will it affect the future?

Students will lose the ability to ignore adults while watching videos of Japanese women eating ramen. As a result, the brains of Saskatchewan youth will shrink by 10%, creating a rush of purchases for smaller hats and toques across the province. 

Will there be long-term effects?

The reduced wear and tear on the mobile devices of such a large section of the Saskatchewan population will permanently lower sales of these devices across the province. The reduced income will bankrupt the Crown-owned SaskTel resulting in a complete collapse of the provincial government. 

What would famous people think of this?

When we reached for a comment, representatives of musical artist Chappelle Roan informed us that all new releases are on hold until this situation is resolved. Without students consuming her music during school time, there is no financial viability for her and all projects are on hold. 

What would the Average Joe say about this? 

We took to the streets of Saskatchewan to find comments on this situation from the general public. Most everyone was too busy arguing over whether Twisters is better than its pregenitor Twister to comment. 


A fun little exercise, and aside from taking it out to some extremes, I'm not sure this was overly funny. But a good exercise nonetheless. I'm eager to keep working through my books, keep writing, practicing and hopefully soon - performing! 

Bronco! A car game for the whole family!

Over the years, I've tried to leave my mark on society by introducing a new saying or meme that takes the world by storm. Stuff like making the phrase "boss" popular again or making it acceptable for men to wear skirts and carry a purse.

So far - no luck. 

But Rhonda and I came up with a fun car game a couple of summers ago that we've found to be immensely fun and I think just maybe - this one is gonna stick. 

The game is Bronco. 

Genre-wise, Bronco is very similar to the classic 20th-century car game, Punch Buggy. The issue with Punch Buggy in 2024, is that production of the Volkswagon Beetle was discontinued in 2019, and the original style Beetles have been gone since 2003. That means fewer and fewer of these rotund jalopies are left to spot. 

Like Punch Buggy, the goal of Bronco is to spot the target vehicle while out on a drive, in this case, the Ford Bronco, and shout out "Bronco!" when you see it. Being Millenials, and also two people trying to preserve a good marriage, we've taken out the requirement to punch the other player on the arm, but we are still quite verbally abusive while playing the game. If you're the first to call out the Bronco, you get a point. 

But why the Ford Bronco? Why not a Rav 4 or Honda Civic? It all started in August 2022 when Rhonda and I went on a weekend camping trip to Candle Lake. On the drive, Rhonda noticed a LOT of Broncos on the highway, especially around Watrous. And as easy as that - the game began. 

It took a few months of playing to realize just how perfect the Ford Bronco was for such a competition. At its very core, the Bronco is a meme car. Obviously, it all started with the OJ Simpson Bronco chase in 1994. A chase so famous that it kept the dying vehicle line alive for a couple extra years. But the newest lines of the Bronco, released since 2021 lean even harder into its meme status with the Bronco name emblazoned across the grill in 20,000-point lettering. You can read it from a quarter kilometre away. 

That large name badge makes for a very low barrier to entry into the game. At first glance, there's little difficulty in identifying a Bronco because the name is right there. But that simplicity is deceptive and we've found that misidentifying other SUVs is more common than you would expect. The Toyota Land Cruiser's round headlights look much like the Bronco's from a distance, nearly every modern Ford SUV and truck has the same style of rims and newer Jeep ragtops look strikingly similar to a Bronco from behind. And if you get caught calling Bronco on a non-Bronco vehicle - you're deducted a point. This can really swing a game of Bronco. 

We've added the odd rule to the game, mostly for fairness. You can't call Bronco if it's parked. This was mostly to avoid calling the same camped Bronco that you know is coming up - like the one parked on Dewdney Ave E every time we drive by. You also have to point out or describe where the Bronco is so that the other player can confirm. 

We still haven't heard back from the control centre about what the scoring would be if we saw an original, pre-1996 Bronco. They're exceedingly rare these days so I haven't seen one lately. But I'm inclined to think that spotting one should be worth anywhere between 3 and 5 points. I'm leaning towards 5 due to its rarity and difficulty to spot - at least the early editions didn't have that gaudy grill lettering! 

Much like Who's Line is it Anyway, the points don't count and the only time anyone cares is when a Bronco has been spotted. We keep a mental tally on a particular trip but it's forgotten as soon as the ignition is turned off. We do not carry points forward unless it's a long day of driving or doing errands - then we might keep a rough score the entire time we're out. 

Perhaps one of my favourite side effects of this game is how it's wreaking havoc on my social media advertising. Keep Facebook or Instagram open on your phone while you play (but don't use your phone while driving) and soon your feeds will be full of ads for Broncos, tires, upgrade packages and more. Poor Ford Motor Products has spent a small fortune advertising a vehicle to me that I will never buy. 

What is your favourite car game? What do you think the score should be for spotting a pre-1996 Ford Bronco? Will you try and play Bronco with your friends and family on your next road trip? Let me know in the comments!