Squeezing humour out of a stone

 A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I'd found some new inspiration and was working on doing a music/humour project. It's been a bit frustrating trying to find the time to work on the project but I'm happy to report that I've got 4 songs in various levels of completion and a notepad full of more ideas. Really it's just capacity slowing me down. 

I picked up some books recently to help me along the path, 5 Tight Minutes, A guide to Joke Writing, Performing and Selling and Comedy Writing Self-Taught Workbook. I don't have a comedy mentor to ask questions of and I'd really like to make my first public appearance with some level of study and expertise. Today's blog post is based on Exercise 6 from the Self-Taught Workbook - In the News. 

The exercise challenges the reader to find a news article, become familiar with it, then answer a series of questions in a funny or humourous way. So let's give it a shot! 

The first challenge is just picking a news article. Not all news can be laughed at, at least not at first so you've got to walk a particular line when picking. For my part, I chose "Saskatchewan moves to restrict cellphone use in all K-12 schools."

Now let's find the funny!

Who is affected by this?

The people who are most affected by this change are the teachers who can no longer depend on cell phones to distract students when there's no good lesson plan. Teachers across the province are being forced to re-learn the rules for 7-Up

Who is happy about this?

Finally, those nuts at the farmer's market talking about the dangers of 5G and contrails are having their voices heard. At least for 8 hours a day, our kids will be protected from damaging radiation. Still no word on fluoride in school water. 

Who is upset about this? 

Saskatchewan parents are most upset about this change as they now have to listen to their school age children complain about not having their phones in class. For the first time in over a decade, parents and their kids are being forced to interact using their voice boxes. 

What would happen if this happened at a different point in history?

Had this kind of ban happened in the late 1800's it's possible that the entire Communist uprising of the 1900s would not have occurred. By taking away the means of communication from students, such toxic ideas would not have been spread and perhaps we could have avoided a long and costly Cold War. Unfortunately, the means for banning cell phones did not exist in the late 1800s. 

Will it affect daily life?

Yes, students will now awake to the world around them and finally realize that our schools are under-funded and falling apart. 

Will it affect my wallet?

This will have a terrible effect on my wallet when my kids have their phones taken away and convince me that I need to buy replacements so that I'm able to continue communicating with them at home. 

What changes will take place because of this? 

Phone charging demands will plummet across the province. This will lead to a surplus of energy in the provincial power grid and facilitate the decommissioning of several coal-powered electrical facilities. The resulting reduction in greenhouse gases will cause winter to start two months early in the province, draining municipal snow removal budgets, bankrupting the province. 

How will it affect the future?

Students will lose the ability to ignore adults while watching videos of Japanese women eating ramen. As a result, the brains of Saskatchewan youth will shrink by 10%, creating a rush of purchases for smaller hats and toques across the province. 

Will there be long-term effects?

The reduced wear and tear on the mobile devices of such a large section of the Saskatchewan population will permanently lower sales of these devices across the province. The reduced income will bankrupt the Crown-owned SaskTel resulting in a complete collapse of the provincial government. 

What would famous people think of this?

When we reached for a comment, representatives of musical artist Chappelle Roan informed us that all new releases are on hold until this situation is resolved. Without students consuming her music during school time, there is no financial viability for her and all projects are on hold. 

What would the Average Joe say about this? 

We took to the streets of Saskatchewan to find comments on this situation from the general public. Most everyone was too busy arguing over whether Twisters is better than its pregenitor Twister to comment. 


A fun little exercise, and aside from taking it out to some extremes, I'm not sure this was overly funny. But a good exercise nonetheless. I'm eager to keep working through my books, keep writing, practicing and hopefully soon - performing! 

Bronco! A car game for the whole family!

Over the years, I've tried to leave my mark on society by introducing a new saying or meme that takes the world by storm. Stuff like making the phrase "boss" popular again or making it acceptable for men to wear skirts and carry a purse.

So far - no luck. 

But Rhonda and I came up with a fun car game a couple of summers ago that we've found to be immensely fun and I think just maybe - this one is gonna stick. 

The game is Bronco. 

Genre-wise, Bronco is very similar to the classic 20th-century car game, Punch Buggy. The issue with Punch Buggy in 2024, is that production of the Volkswagon Beetle was discontinued in 2019, and the original style Beetles have been gone since 2003. That means fewer and fewer of these rotund jalopies are left to spot. 

Like Punch Buggy, the goal of Bronco is to spot the target vehicle while out on a drive, in this case, the Ford Bronco, and shout out "Bronco!" when you see it. Being Millenials, and also two people trying to preserve a good marriage, we've taken out the requirement to punch the other player on the arm, but we are still quite verbally abusive while playing the game. If you're the first to call out the Bronco, you get a point. 

But why the Ford Bronco? Why not a Rav 4 or Honda Civic? It all started in August 2022 when Rhonda and I went on a weekend camping trip to Candle Lake. On the drive, Rhonda noticed a LOT of Broncos on the highway, especially around Watrous. And as easy as that - the game began. 

It took a few months of playing to realize just how perfect the Ford Bronco was for such a competition. At its very core, the Bronco is a meme car. Obviously, it all started with the OJ Simpson Bronco chase in 1994. A chase so famous that it kept the dying vehicle line alive for a couple extra years. But the newest lines of the Bronco, released since 2021 lean even harder into its meme status with the Bronco name emblazoned across the grill in 20,000-point lettering. You can read it from a quarter kilometre away. 

That large name badge makes for a very low barrier to entry into the game. At first glance, there's little difficulty in identifying a Bronco because the name is right there. But that simplicity is deceptive and we've found that misidentifying other SUVs is more common than you would expect. The Toyota Land Cruiser's round headlights look much like the Bronco's from a distance, nearly every modern Ford SUV and truck has the same style of rims and newer Jeep ragtops look strikingly similar to a Bronco from behind. And if you get caught calling Bronco on a non-Bronco vehicle - you're deducted a point. This can really swing a game of Bronco. 

We've added the odd rule to the game, mostly for fairness. You can't call Bronco if it's parked. This was mostly to avoid calling the same camped Bronco that you know is coming up - like the one parked on Dewdney Ave E every time we drive by. You also have to point out or describe where the Bronco is so that the other player can confirm. 

We still haven't heard back from the control centre about what the scoring would be if we saw an original, pre-1996 Bronco. They're exceedingly rare these days so I haven't seen one lately. But I'm inclined to think that spotting one should be worth anywhere between 3 and 5 points. I'm leaning towards 5 due to its rarity and difficulty to spot - at least the early editions didn't have that gaudy grill lettering! 

Much like Who's Line is it Anyway, the points don't count and the only time anyone cares is when a Bronco has been spotted. We keep a mental tally on a particular trip but it's forgotten as soon as the ignition is turned off. We do not carry points forward unless it's a long day of driving or doing errands - then we might keep a rough score the entire time we're out. 

Perhaps one of my favourite side effects of this game is how it's wreaking havoc on my social media advertising. Keep Facebook or Instagram open on your phone while you play (but don't use your phone while driving) and soon your feeds will be full of ads for Broncos, tires, upgrade packages and more. Poor Ford Motor Products has spent a small fortune advertising a vehicle to me that I will never buy. 

What is your favourite car game? What do you think the score should be for spotting a pre-1996 Ford Bronco? Will you try and play Bronco with your friends and family on your next road trip? Let me know in the comments! 

Never go back - you can never go back.

It happens every year. I take a couple weeks of summer holiday and by the time it's time to go back, I'm convinced I was never meant for office life. 

Obviously, my view of things has been a bit tainted. While I have been away from office life for 2 weeks and enjoying the pleasures of that absence - I haven't exactly been working either. Sure, I knocked a couple things off my to-do list, but mostly I slept in, smoked a lot and found my creative spark. And it's that creative spark that has me longing for a life that doesn't include a grey cubicle or drinking the corporate culture kool-aid. 

Early in our holiday, Rhonda and I were able to sneak away for one night without the kids or dogs to "trip the light fantastic." Before we started, we checked on each other's intentions and what we wanted to find. For my part, I was looking for insight and connection. And I'll say that in a large part, I really didn't find what I was looking for that night which I did find a bit troublesome. In fact one of my biggest takeaways was that I really spent the night more impaired than inspired - and a bit annoyed. 

One of the landmarks of our rare journeys to the mental unknown is that Rhonda gets a massive case of the giggles and I can't stop making jokes. Or sometimes worse, I'm not even making jokes, Rhonda just finds everything I do funny. It's a delicate balance to walk because after an hour two of laughing until we cry, it gets a bit worrisome. And I'm trying to balance that with a barely functioning brain. 

Fortunately, a few days later, I was able to see that this natural tendency towards humour was something that I need to start leaning into a bit more. I started thinking about humour musicians I've listened to over the years, Tenacious D, Weird Al, Flight of the Conchords and so much more. I've been playing a ton of acoustic guitar this summer and bringing it out at every social event I can but I'm really not bringing anything fresh to the mix. It's just me strumming some old covers with my barely passable cowboy chords. Fun but not fulfilling. 

By last Wednesday, July 17, all the rest and pondering finally clicked in to place and I had what was certainly my most creative day in years - maybe ever. I had put major work into a game design document (for a Minecraft project I'm unlikely to finish), a new humour music project proposal and had written lyrics and music for two songs to use in the humour project. Plus I've got seed ideas for about 6 more songs in my humour project doc and I'm excited to put together a few funny, well practiced songs to start showing people this fall. 

But of course - balance shows up again. I've volunteered to be the team manager for Jonas' pee wee football team and that's very busy right now. Not to mention the to-do list I posted last week, a new promotion at work and my need for regular sleep means that as excited and productive I've been, I'll need to pace myself and not get too far ahead of myself. 

But everytime I see a posting for an open mic, I wonder if I should head out. 

I suppose it's better to be busy than bored and the challenge that the next 3-4 months offers is going to leave me in really good shape to move forward into the new year and beyond this year. And if I'm lucky, I might actually get out to one of those open mic nights sooner than later. 

Intentions, Resolutions and and growth

I took a different approach to the concept of the New Year's resolution this past year, which proved successful. Instead of taking on something that was a change in habit or behaviour, I chose two relatively simple tasks that I've been putting off that are "one and done" tasks that would make me feel overall better about my world and my place in it. Those two tasks were:

• Update my spice rack - my spices were an extension of the setup I started in college. A hodgepodge of bags, bottles and jars with more than a few flavours turned to dust. I updated to two nice wooden boxes with 2-dozen new jars in each.
• Update my closet - just like my spice rack, my closet is an assortment of every dollar store, dry cleaner and inherited hanger I've acquired since college. A few dozen packs of nice wood hangers make my closet look nicer and more consistent.

Certainly, neither job was hard or even that expensive. But they were unnecessary - both systems performed their required tasks the same before and after the change, but they were more mental upgrades for me. "Adulting" as Rhonda and I would call it - actually acting like an adult. 

Part of the commitment was to see the task through completely. I initially didn't buy enough to finish the project - too few bottles for my spice collection and too few hangers for my wardrobe. So it necessitated follow-up visits to the store to fill out the collection and a couple more hours to finish the job. 

I acknowledge that for many people, this is just a Saturday afternoon job but it was a seed for me. Last year was a difficult one as my gout attacks dominated so much of my life and activity. By New Year, I was ready to start taking action to get my shit back together and start feeling better about my world. Changing something unnecessary but still useful seemed like a good start - and I knew it was achievable even if I was limping around on my cane. 

With 2024 over half done and with today being my 43rd birthday, it's a good time to take on a couple new challenges. Why wait until the pit of winter to make something of myself? Plus this is blog post 800 - a nice round number to take stock.

But this time, I'm making a few more intentions and will look a bit more to the future for some of them. 

Short term - in the next 3 weeks

• Get my eaves cleaned and my downspouts fixed - these are overdue jobs and ones that I really need to get my shit together on
• Fix the camper - not just the broken lift cable that threatened to completely ruin my holiday but also do some waterproofing of the shell, lube everything up etc.
• Get a garbage truck to the house - get the pile of crap out of the yard and feel like there's less weight on me.
• Finish building my keyboard - it's mostly there. It works and I enjoy it. But it needs some re-programming and a rebuild to solder a broken lead. 

Mid-term - before the snow flies 

• Fix the deck - replace all those rotted boards, paint and get some lighting up for Rhonda.
• Clear out the garage and basement - this is a bigger job than it first seems. I need to pull back on some of the hobbies I won't pursue far because of my mobility issues. I need to sell off a lot of crap and focus on a few things. 
• Replace everything in my sock drawer.

Long term - 5-year plan

• Buy a cabin/cottage - this is not a new idea or discussion but my commitment to it solidified this week. I realized I have no desire to get a bigger/better camper and that what I really want is a quiet place to have a fire and enjoy some time.

Rhonda and I have already started to discuss what steps we would need to take to realize this dream and for that matter - even see if it's possible. The spreadsheets have already started and we've committed to talking to the bank about starting a savings account to get this done in the next few weeks. The rough idea right now is to look at the market, find out how much a cabin that would fit our needs will cost, figure out what the loan, insurance, taxes and utilities would cost and start socking that money away into savings now. In a few years, we'd have the money for the downpayment and incidentals. It's still a long wait but it would be progress and we foresee having our escape by the time the kids are done high school. 

I do keep to-do lists, both physical and in my head but I think that putting goals down in a forum like this can help make them come true. I hope to report back in a few weeks about my successes and struggles. And I hope that my plan for a cabin takes less than 5 years!

Blogging from the woods.

During the Great Non-Bloggening™, Andrew and I hosted a radio show called The Cockpit. It was a rock-centred show we hosted Thursday nights for about 5 years on CJTR. I enjoyed every minute of doing it but my commitment to helping out, a pandemic, and one of our key players getting traded to Saskatoon for a slice of peach cobbler and a scratched Boyz 2 Men CD spelled the end of the show on Dec 31, 2020. 

One of the fun ideas we had during the show was the Saskatchewan Summer Playlist, a Spotify playlist of songs by Saskatchewan artists. My thought was it would be something great to listen to at the lake or backyard party. Music to listen to under living skies. 

Once the show finished, the paths to new music didn't stop and I wanted somewhere to dump my discoveries. It resulted in my first summer playlist. A pure jam of songs that are already nostalgic only a few years later. 

As I repeated the same tasks for playlists in 2022 and 2023, it's become really quite effortless. Every weekend I check out what is new, add the bangers to the list. Sprinkle in the odd song from a band we see live, heard on the radio or learned on guitar.

Years later, I'm still capturing that lake vibe, I always know it's going to be playing for my family and other people so I often find myself plucking out some of the heavier/screamer bits. But they still get in there.  

While it's not the all-Saskatchewan playlist it originally was, it still does feature its share of local and small artists. I feel unapologetic about my quota.

As I sit in my campsite listening to this year's entry*, I'm proud of what I've put together again. If you take a listen and have a suggestion, let me know! The list isn't usually done until late September. 

* You hear that Pilot from the past all blogging from his BlackBerry like it's a thing? I'm just sitting here in a campsite like it ain't not thang. With like 1998 dialup speeds. And my phone really isn't much bigger, or frankly different or does much new. Some things never change. WAIT UNTIL YOU LEARN WHAT AI IS UP TO IN 2024! Still nothing really. 

A curious event at a football game.

Last Thursday, July 4, I scored some great tickets to the Roughrider vs Argonauts game at nearby Mosaic Stadium. A nail-biter almost to the bitter end, it was great to see Shea Patterson step up and fight through a tough game. 

But what happened right before the game started was more special than a win for a team who weren't expected to win in front of an excited crowd. My dad and your future pope - the infamous Denis Pilon was one of the members of the Living Skies Chorus that sang "The Star Spangled Banner" and "Oh Canada" before the game. Since the game landed on Independence Day, CBS in the US picked up the game for broadcast and in return, both national anthems were sung. 

The video struggles to capture the grandeur of the performance and just how good it sounded in the stadium. What started as a strong, military-sounding performance of the anthems, quickly showed its barbershop roots with unexpected harmonies and a pitch-perfect performance. You could feel the crowd being moved and as an observer who was trying to be quiet to film them - it was a challenge. 

Dad texted before the game to comment on how spectacular the soundcheck was but I don't think he realized how much having 30,000-some-odd people join in would enhance the performance. The sound filled the stadium and surrounded the listener. It was truly a spectacular performance, and one I'm sure they'll be invited to repeat many more times. 

I was grateful that my Aunt and Uncle didn't feel like coming into town for a Thursday night game so I could experience it in person! Plus, it was a perfect night for a football game and the Riders looked good - all the way to the end of the game. 

Have I ever told you about Minecraft?

I was thinking about how long it's been since I last blogged regularly. It occurred to me that it's been so long that my love of the game Minecraft has never come up! I often think about how my journey started, and how 15 years later, I still play it like it's new to me. 

My Minecraft journey is tied to YouTube throughout, so it's little surprise that my journey starts there. I can't remember what website I saw it on but they wanted to share a laugh about this video:

I immediately knew it would come to dominate my life. And looking back 15 years later, it's gone exactly as predicted. 

I bought my first, and to date only, Minecraft licence sometime that October, during the Alpha 1.2.0 Halloween Update on Java. I remember it being $5 but the Wiki says it was closer to $12. I can't find an invoice email so that's lost to time. Andrew was an early adopter with me. In an email search on my computer, I found the earliest remaining email in my inbox from that time was of the HindenBURN in November 2011. Fire seems to be an early Minecraft theme. 

I played solo survival early on, learning the basics of the game from Sea Nanners on YouTube.   All that remains of that first world and that first base for me are a few screenshots from December 2010

Like most early adopters, I followed the game's creator, Notch, on his blog. I found an early crash report I made where I rather gush about the game knowing that he's likely to read it:

To: support@mojang.com

Dec 10, 2010 

Greetings - was just changing the graphic setting from Fancy to whatever the alternative is - it locked up for a bit then sent this message.

LOVE THE GAME, my whole family plays together - wish we could have multiple avatars/names under my one account. 

Exciting times.

By January 2011, we'd ventured into multiplayer. Andrew was sharing snapshots of his online builds with me. (Stolen, again without permission).

I have a trove of snapshots from a server - whose name is now lost to time - with an early castle I built. It contained my first Minecraft organ, an invention I'd return to many years later. 

I started a multiplayer server in December of 2011 - aptly named "Pilot's World" that about a dozen people played on at its peak. The server lasted about 3 or 4 years, there were some stumbles and resets, but the "classic era" lasted until early 2014. One of my great regrets is losing the world file for that original world. I made a mistake when downloading the backups and when I went to re-access them - it was gone. I didn't take as many screenshots as I should have - or they're lost on a dead hard drive in a landfill. In any case, all I can find from Pilot's World the Minecraft server - is this video:

Some say he's still chasing that villager to this day. 

After Pilot's World, I played on a server called Kingdom's Cities, which I'm discovering in writing is back up and running. I may have to do some exploring soon. When Kingom's Cities (I thought) shut down in October 2018, I moved to my current home, Simplex. 

My activities in Minecraft are pretty varied. I run a store in the shopping district called EMPORIUM! I found a picture of my first-ever multiplayer shop and... I haven't evolved much in store style. 

First Shop (July 2011)

EMPORIUM! (Dec 2023)

Like most experienced, end-game players, I have an over-the-top base with a million farms and I enjoy participating in server events like build competitions. I've been pushing myself to make large-scale inventions like a playable organ, an original sorting system and even a Minecraft version of curling. 

YouTube is still part of my Minecraft adventure too. I could go through a million early YouTubers I watched but my current staple is Hermitcraft intermixed with a bit of Wattles and Mogswamp. 

Minecraft is a game that provides a vast creative palette with an enjoyable challenge in survival that drives you to solve problems and do more. Adding a multiplayer element gives you a chance to collaborate and show off in a way that provides - so far literally - endless fun. 

I'll leave you with one more screenshot, my most recent build - the S.S. Goo, my entry for the Summer Boat Building Competition. 

I need to get outside more. 

On owning a lightsaber.

 I am the very proud owner of a new,  primordial lightsaber. First-time owner, it's a one-handed, dagger-like affair that runs off butane. No Kyber crystal vision quest in my future, unfortunately. But it was a fantastic Father's Day nonetheless. 

But even owning this affordable Amazon novelty torch makes me realize how powerful and dangerous a real lightsaber is. 

Trying to be a showoff and light a joint with it, I quickly discovered that a beaked or brimmed hat is a limiting factor. I still don't understand how Obi-Wan can hold his next to his face without losing his beard. I don't know how it survived Mustafar - but let's stay on topic. 

You need to be careful where you point it. 

I wonder about the weight of a lightsaber. Does the blade weigh anything? I've seen discussion online and I join the side that says they must have weight and balance like a stick or sword because otherwise you could just flail it about and shred everything. Plus they seem to put effort into using the tool. 

I've seen theories that lightsabers have sharp or cutting areas and blunt areas. Hence Obi Wan's bouncy sabre in Kenobi. Not mine. If you get close enough, this thing will fuck you up equally from all directions. I think I'd rather have one than a knife in a street fight. 

The torch doesn't have an end-weight, it truly is just a handle, but the jet flame does give you a slight push. I feel like new lightsaber users always have a similar kickback reaction to the weapon igniting. 

I don't know how a Jedi puts a lightsaber back on their belt immediately after use without branding their thigh. We're taking several powers of magnitude hotter than what I got - I'm not cutting through any steel blast doors this weekend. I need to leave mine sitting out for a few minutes before it's cool enough to put away. Even a gunslinger blows on his barrel first. It's best mine didn't come with a belt clip. 

All this to say, no matter how much I beg you, never let me even hold a real lightsaber. I feel like there was a mistake made already that will result in a visit from the fire department or to the burn unit. Maybe both. 

For now, I must be content with a convenient pizza oven lighter, campfire obliterator and a debilitating paranoia about its misuse. 

May the Force be with you. 

Why does LGBTQ2S+ Pride matter to me?

This past Saturday was one of my favourite days of the year, the annual Pride parade here in Regina. I've walked in the parade with a few different organizations for about a decade and I always find it to be a day of joy, love and a bit of "sticking it to the 'phobes."

This year was extra important to many of us in attendance due to recent transphobic policies enacted by the Sask Party government. Pride parades have really become a celebration of sexual and gender diversity, but they have their roots in protest and this year, I was happy that the committee remembered that history. 

I work as a social media manager for a provincial Crown corporation so every year I see the hate and intolerance that so many people have for the LGBTQ2S+ community. I can only speak for myself to say that most people just want to be left alone to live their lives and the fact that there is a very vocal group in this world that can't tolerate that is disgusting to me. 

And that's why I march. That's why I continue to defend the community online through my work. And it's why, over 50 years after the first Pride parade, we're still protesting. 

In my younger, naive days, I thought that the solution to most kinds of intolerance was to just ignore the differences and focus on how we are the same. Certainly, there's value in finding common ground, I think it can help to humanize each other through ignorance. But as Leonard Cohen once noted, variety is the spice box of life. I see my world as more interesting, more nuanced and much more fun because I have gay and transgender friends. And that extends to all the ways we're different. I learn so much from other cultures, gain insights from how others are different and so often, I see how my approach to the world can harm others. 

Sometimes I feel sorry for the willfully and ignorantly intolerant. They've chosen a path that is angry and stressful. Not only does their behaviour hurt the people they target, it hurts themselves. They are turning away from a new friend, a new insight or a fascinating new experience. 

I think the worst part about this subject is summed up in how I can't sum up this post. There was a time that I thought that the screams of intolerance and hate we were hearing were the last gasps of a misguided past. But it seems of late that the voices are getting louder and the progress we were making is starting to walk backwards. As much as I'd like to sit back one year, maybe enjoy the Pride parade from the sidelines, or just ignore the stupidity online, it's as important today as it was in 1970 to stand up for what's right, embrace our differences and redouble our efforts to fight the good fight.

Happy Pride everyone, I love ya for who you ARE! 💜💙💚💛🧡

Punk Rock Pizza

The COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns were a strange thing. 

Some people got smokers. Some people knitted. Some people - made sourdough. 

To be sure, sourdough had long been an interest but with every previous attempt, I'd get busy, go somewhere, forget about it and - mould city. It never got anywhere, but now I wasn't going anywhere and I had some time to kill and wanted to connect with the kids. 

Sourdough is nothing more than smelly living slime, which means it was perfect for slime connoisseur, Kayah. We named our first starter Bobette and embarked on some experimentation. One Friday night, we made pizza dough with the starter discard. We hung out in the kitchen, making pizzas while I bombarded Kayah with some of punk rock's historical highlights. It was a great night of company, food and music. 

I'm always looking for a reason to alliterate and in a quick trade with Rhonda, we quickly found Pilon Punk Rock Pizza Party. A reason to eat good pizza and listen to music. 

We've repeated it semi-regularly ever since. Sure, we made a few sourdough loaves and delivered them to family and co-workers. But that pizza dough has persisted. We've been through Bobbette 1-23 but we still make up fresh batches of dough as much as possible. 

Last summer I bought a small portable wood pellet oven. It's easy to use and fun but I can't say what I'd do for a brick pizza oven in my backyard! 

Retirement goals I guess.

This past Christmas, I embarked on a very optimistic project of making a ball of sourdough pizza dough accompanied by a hand-cut punk 'zine and sticker by Rhonda (and an AI but I won't tell!) as a gift for all my friends and family. I think I made about 20 Punk Rock Pizza Parties in all. It was well received, but I think the execution lacked a bit and I don't think I'd do the same kind of project again. Or I'd at least use a stand mixer.

I ponder what I'd like to do next with it. I started a Redbubble store a few months ago with the thought that I might find some kind of merchandise angle, but it's just not quite what I have in mind yet. 

Only time will tell. Until then, if I can ever pop by your place with my oven, I provide the dough, and you provide the toppings. Let's listen to some punk music and have a slice - or twelve.

ibUILTakEYBOARD

 Grreatnews,igotmykeyboardtogether.Badnews,thespacebarandtheenterkeydontwork.#

Welltheenterkindaworkssometimes.Butit'sloose.##

IneedtogodosomemoreworkIguess.

Buildin' a keyboard

A few months ago, Rhonda and I were “antiquing” as old fogies like us are wont to do. In a dark back corner of one antique shop, we came across some shelves of mechanical typewriters. I cheekily commented that since I now work as a writer, I should probably have one on a shelf that I never use. It took three keystrokes for me to tangle the arms on one and I quickly remembered that using a pen is better than an old typewriter and I had no use whatsoever for such a machine. 

 I did realize that I could really use a nice keyboard for typing at work and thus I went down the endless rabbit hole that is mechanical keyboards. For the uninitiated, building custom mechanical keyboards is all the rage right now, and you can customize everything from the feel of the switches to the keycaps to the cable – have I mentioned soldering LEDs yet. You get the picture. 

The result is about 8 weeks of waiting patiently for parts and tools to arrive from all four corners of China (and one thing from Vancouver). Turns out that was the easy part. The last parts came in the mail yesterday so I sat down at the kitchen table to start in earnest. 

And learned why not everyone does this. 

My fingers hurt from pushing in sharp switches and stabilizers and I nearly went mad when I realized I had to pull every switch because I needed to put the stabilizers in first. It’s been a real journey. So all that to say, hopefully, someday, I will write this blog from a nice thocky, fancy keyboard. 

But not today. Today, it’s my worn-out Dell work keyboard with all the letters rubbed off.

Sweet 16 (You gonna go ahead and post again like that?)

 In the spirit of keeping the momentum moving for restarting this and because I have a big day to celebrate, I'm posting again. 

Today is my daughter Kayah's SIXTEENTH birthday. Lordy. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAY!

It's my second go-round with a sixteen-year-old but it doesn't make this any easier. Time flies until you stop and realize that baby that kept you up every night for six years is ready to get her license and you're ready for her to so that you can get a night off of driving her everywhere. 

We don't have a ton planned for her tonight but I do hope she has a fantastic day and appreciates the drum of stale crackers I got her as a gift. 

When tomorrow is four years away

So, what brings me back to this dump this time? Another pandemic? Maybe YouTube is down for the afternoon? Some kind of injury that renders my lower half useless but leaves my brain and typing thingies untouched? Hardly.

This time, it’s at least a bit less disaster-dependent – even if this blog has always been a disaster. This past Easter I was chatting with my brother Andrew from Randomization about the excellent YouTube vlog, Vlog Brothers. I was expressing how that back-and-forth was interesting and might be something we could try.

Andrew, being the more reasonable and realistic of us two, noted that editing a video every week sounded an awful lot like work but that we did still have those old blogs kicking around – maybe we could try there?

So, we’ve assigned each other a day a week to post and… let’s see how far this goes! Be sure you’re subscribed, liked or glonked over at Randomization so you can catch his first post on Thursday!

Eight Years? WTF?!

Yes yes, I know. It's been a while. And I didn't exactly leave things in any sort of good way. But then again, does a real blogger ever QUIT blogging? 

According to this post, no they do not.

So why start back up now? Well a few reasons but the biggest one is that I'm now stuck at home for an indefinite period of time due to the COVID-19 break-out and I wanted to journal a bit of that. Additionally, I write for a living now and I need somewhere to practice a bit and keep my skills up. MAD skillz.

So what have I been up to between Steven Harper banishing the penny and the world coming to a screeching halt? Are these things connected? Did I ever finish watching all of Lost?  All excellent questions, all will be answered in time.

In the last eight years, things have been interesting. I think I'd already built my full complement of children by the time I posted last, Tai, Kayah and Jonas. We moved to a bigger house in 2014 and we've been living the 'hood life with them and 3 animals. 

Yeah, three animals.  For those who followed this blog but somehow didn't keep up with me otherwise, the sweet beauty that was Bootsy passed away back in 2014 not long after we moved. It wasn't necessarily a clean end and it still breaks my heart to think of those final weeks with someone so gentle. 

Before Bootsy left us we did welcome another pet into the household however, Chopstick the tabby cat.  We had a bit of a mouse problem and Choppy was simply the best in the business- and he hasn't let us down.  We experienced nothing short of disaster when some jackwagon from the neighbourhood shot poor Choppy in the butt, vaporizing the bones in one of his hind legs.  He survived but lost a leg.  He can still catch mice like no one's business.  You don't mess with Chop.

Finally, Bootsy somehow returned to us in the form of an adult-female husky named Leika that we adopted in October 2014. She's the embodiment of that dog and has proven to be an excellent caregiver to our children and a kind loving companion. 

The Criminal Kid found it's end in around 2015-16 (it was all a little fuzzy). We're still all friends and do jam on occasion - lots of stories there but for another time.  I did putz around a few other bands but have frankly struggled to play with anyone for the last 5 years or so.  To supplement, I started a radio show with my brother, Andrew, called The Cockpit on 91.3 FM CJTR in Regina.  My involvement with the station has been very intense and I find myself currently the president of the Board of Directors for the station. A trying job in trying times I can assure you.


Well, that's about enough updates for now.  I'll post again tomorrow - probably more COVID-19 related because there are some thoughts and observations I'd like to write down at this early part of the disaster.  We'll do more catching up in the weeks ahead. I have stories to tell and I'm looking forward to talking to you again.

Stephen Harper - pennyscourge

Steven arrived home after a long hard day of handshaking and baby kissing. He walked to the fireplace, dumped off a load of change from that hippie bakery on the mantle.

His face darkens as he separates the copper from the silver and in a loud booming voice he cried "I WILL DESTROY YOU".

Best thing that man has ever done. The legacy project to end all legacy projects

Solar Imaging

Last weekend I attended the annual Saskatchewan Summer Star Party in Cypress Hills Interprovincial Park.  I HIGHLY recommend this outing for anyone with an interest in astronomy.  I learned more in 3 days - particularly about telescopy and observing - than I've learned in the past year on my own.

I was very fortunate to have access to my dad's 8" Schmidt-Cassegrain telescope on a motorized mount in  addition to my very old (30 years almost!) 4" on equatorial mount.  Big words.  I know.

The best part though is that I was let loose with the motorized Cassegrain during the day last Saturday.  So I took out my nifty iPhone telescope mount, some filters and a big ol' sun and got some great shots!

So Tired

Being a father has had a ridiculously negative affect on my sleep.  I thought working shift work was bad, but having one child who has night terrors and another that is still nursing through the night means that I haven't slept with any regularity basically in the four years since Kayah was born. 

I normally have never been one to be too pissy about losing some sleep - and I've not only been operating but actually thriving in the past few years so it can't be that bad.  But there are days where I can't lift my head by supper time.  And I drink too much coffee.  Way too much.

That''s a SPICY Meatball

So when you start looking at all the stuff out there in that big old space thing, a few things come clear.  As time passes and things break apart, they cool.  So anything of a certain age or certain size has cooled from a ball of lava to say - a rock.  That changes things, because atmospheres disappear and the places become big crater balls.  There are moons around Saturn and Jupiter with active volcanos.  They're still seismically active, just like Earth.

So this got me wondering, will the Earth eventually cool and harden to rock?  When this happens, the giant mass of iron at the center of the planet will stop spinning and the magnetic field that protects us from the worst of the sun will stop.  Freaky stuff.

So tonight I did some looking at it seems that in fact, the Sun will go red giant and vapourize the planet way before that happens.  The earth would take 10,000,000,000 years to solidify, but the sun will destroy the earth in 7,600,000,000 years.  The sun takes it by a hair.  If we don't do it first.

Refreshing.

Mark Interacts with another animal.

Can it be? Yep, let's get this blog Rick rolling in style.

Mark interacts with Bootsy

Divide and Conquer

One of the driving forces for getting Pilot's World rolling again is that I have a desire to share some of my hobbies with the world. Twitter does this a bit, but it's not the best outlet. I considered starting some specific blogs, but to be sure, I'm too lazy. So I'll put it all here

I will use tags an try to set things up so that you can find what it is you want to see.

I'm going to start having subject features that fall in with my interests.

Astronomy - photos, drawings and anything else I can think of. I have much of this on my wife's Flickr page right now, I'll be moving it here soon

Camping - reviews of gear, camp inventions and thoughts. My family and I are avid tent campers and I want to share my thoughts on the subject.

Music - I'm winding down my time with my band, The Criminal Kid, but I have a lot to do there yet. I'm also planning on a solo project incorporating some more noodly jam stuff and a punk band. I also want to start an indie musician advice column focusing primarily on the subject of live performance.

Photography - I will likely have less emphasis on this subject than in the past, but I love instagram and I like taking pictures. Some of that will end up here too.

Minecraft - I run a private MInecraft server, it's the best game ever. So I'll probably do stuff with that here, but I don't know how just yet.

Ok let's get this going again why not?

Keep up with me on Twitter - @PilotsWorld. I've got some witty things there I suppose.

Gonna put some photos together and reformat the page.

Congrats

Congratulations to Danny Martin and Nathan Van Betuw who won a pair of tickets each to our show at McNally's on May 26th!

Tickets to this show are available from the band, so get in touch with us if you want tickets. We will debut 3 never before heard songs at the show, so come on out and get your full fix of the The Criminal Kid!

Mark Interacts With Animals - 5th Time!

So to celebrate the impending visit from one of my oldest and bestest friends, I present you with a long overdue.. and frankly pretty old picture of MARK INTERACTING WITH ANIMALS!

Ahh Coffee

So the wife and I are in deep discussions on re-doing our living room. What we have now fit in the "barely functions" category. We still have an old CRT TV (LD bizzatches!) whose sound doesn't really work anymore (most viewing is at 80% max volume or higher), a monstrously large couch/hideabed/two recliner couchtrosity that has a habit of eating anything and everything that comes near it. A week doesn't go by that I don't walk in to see one of the kids or one of the dogs struggling to escape its bottomless pit.

Of course we're agonizing to no end over how to use our limited budget and credit options to the best end. And of course there is always some TV on for a great price that is just a little smaller than we'd like or a couch that is perfect for our plans but costs a hellatillion bux.

Sigh.

Well we'll get it figured out soon enough.

I'd Like to Build a Doomsday Device.

There are many reasons I'd like to build a Doomsday Device.

A Doomsday Device, for those of you who live under a rock , is a theoretical weapon that could wipe out all life on the planet. Thankfully for all of us reading and writing this blog, none have been used yet. At least not here on Earth.

Now one might ask what a lower middle-class ... or maybe upper lower class... or maybe something else... average or so guy like me want with a device that could destroy all life on the planet or even the entire planet?

Well I'll tell you.

Firstly, upon completion it significantly improves your resume. Building a doomsday device is a pretty tecnically advanced project, and I'm certain you would find few jobs would turn you away when you can show them you built a device capable of ending the lives of 8 billion people.

The challenge of building a doomsday device is pretty attractive too. I'm sure brainstorming ways of spreading chemicals to all ends of the earth or figuring out how to space and detonate nuclear warheads so that they amplify their shock waves would be really interesting.

In order to assemble a doomsday device I'm certain one would have to attain some very difficult things, completely in secret so that party-poopers won't know what you're up to. I'm certain you would need to do a fair bit of travel to find and import what you need. Seeing the world is definitely a perk

Of course its going to make travel a lot easier once its done too. When you've got a weapon of total destruction, it doesn't make much difference if you're on the plane or on the other side of the planet. Why bother with the check, you're screwed either way. Carry on sir. Next.

Respect. We all need it. I'm sure I'd get it.

Free Ramen. Feed me or I kill everyone anyone ever knew. Ever.

Heck I could even make up a new title. Doomsayer Pilot. That has a nice ring to it. Armageddanaut.

I'm not really sure about this one, but again, who knows. I figure once you've got a machine capable of complete eradication of the human race, they'll give you a golden Safeway card that will get you anything in the store for the difference between regular price and club price. Like if regular price for ketchup if $4.50 and the club price is $4.29, gold card gets it for $0.21. Total sweet benefit.

It might seem pretty selfish to want a doomsday device, but you can see how much things would improve if I simply had a device capable of destroying the planet. It would have its downsides like my wife would always be looking for a reason why I should get it out of the basement, and I'm sure it could leak sometimes which would be some bad business. But I think overall, a doomsday device would be a pretty sweet deal.

Blackberry Post

Woo posting from my Crackberry.

Holy Crap

One week into the workout, I'm STILL doing it and seeing results! Wowzers!

This coming Saturday I'll be doing an exhaustion test for my curls and will be doing my initial exhaustion test for the 100 Push-ups.

Incidentally if I find the guy who produces Mini-Pops I will punch him in the face.

A Tad Suicidal.

So gonna try again for the millionth time to get myself on some sort of regular workout. I figure trying and failing a million times is like at least as many times you'll get one workout in.

So I'm trying for the Two Hundred Sit-up Challenge. A pretty hefty - and frankly one dimensional - workout program, but I have to incorporate in a fairly large way before June: an extensive cardio/walking training and probably phase in the 100 Pushups and 200 Squats Challenges too. One of my challenges in the walking/cardio will also involve training Bootsy, but I do need some sort of quantifiable goal program for that whole section yet.

You can follow my progress there on Twitter. Or just check out My Profile on their Logger.

What do I need all this before June for? One reason is a secret and the other I'll tell you about in a future post! (Hint - it involves buffalo!).

A Paint Job - Among Others

So I've given the place a little facelift. Got a few more ideas I'm gonna be playing with. Might as well do some playing here.

Gotta find some WIDGETS! We'll soon have it. Widgets can be hard because so many are so difficult to edit. ReverbNation is the best in my opinion. I'm gonna try giving my sidebar more real-estate. Try and share with y'all my life through the use of not only the article and comment aspect of this blog and Pilot's World, but show you what's up with photos, video, related content and probably some tunes and crap too.

It's all gonna be a work in progress, but I assure you, I'll be editing stuff as I go, so comments are always welcome! Unless you're trying to sell DYC|< eNH4N{EmeNT P1lL5.

Fuck Off

Back to y'all regular scheduled readers, thanks for sticking 'round.

Pilot's World

Wow. Year 5. Guess I was wrong.

I'm thinking back to that first post now. Winter : LaRonge : facing the forest out the window. There was snow on the ground and I knew I was gonna be bored. Wanted to make Pilot's World a whole series of things, and I suppose it it's way, that's what it's become. Pilot's World has fused with my Google account and the rest is history. I basically wanted Pilot's World to be my start page. My iGoogle page does it now.

But I still hold on to this blog because it's been something else to me. And now all I ever do it write a nostalgic post about it once in a while, do a few good posts for a few weeks, then something else catches my attention and I forget the blog for a bit.

And so the cycle continues . . .

I am so depressed right now.

I've been robbed. The province of Saskatchewan and Rider Nation have been ROBBED.

I don't want to cry. I am crying.

More speaking on the Grey Cup

Well Grey Cup Fever has hit me like a brick off a 10 storey building. Like Tai says "Look out Grey Cup, here we come!"

So of course it's created a week of ritual and ceremony in preparation for the luck of the game.

At this time last week I found out that I had a ticket to the Western final and my Western Final plans wouldn't be happening. The game would turn out to be legendary in the annals of Rider lore I'm sure. ("I've never seen Taylor Field so GREEN").

All week at work has been casual if you wear green/Riders clothing. Well hell. It's all the City of Regina can talk about, the local economy is doing gangbusters on any item that has a hue between aqua blue and orange. The local water supply has a slightly green hue as the population washes all their green clothes so they have something to wear to work tomorrow.

Excitement for this team is incredibly high. We're fresh off a Cup and we've had a good couple seasons in the meantime and really rebounded well from alot of fame-jumpers after the last Cup.

Rider Nation is poised to explode.

Now I'm not saying our boys have an easy chore tomorrow. Chances are pretty good we'll be welcoming home less metal than we'd like, but this team is good and is going to play VERY hard in Calgary tomorrow. A

And I cannot wait to watch that game.

November Post?

Well I need a November post and what better to say than... THE RIDERS ARE IN THE CUP!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!


Discuss

Parenting - 2009

Que sera sera.

That about sums it up. I find parenting to be a guilt filled venture.

In the olden days it was the church and your family telling you how to raise them. Or I guess your religion and culture would be more accurate than "the church". That's just my upbrining. The Church is always well related to The Government. So they told us how to raise our children. How many times to hit them when they did this, instilling the fear of an omnipotent God in them for those we didn't catch, and how long to put them in jail when they grew up and we figured they were killing a few too many of the more useful people in our little group.

Then Democracy hit. With it came free markets. So not only did a man have the freedom to speak, but also to make as much money as he could fit in his big fat gullet. The Corporation began to become a being, with it came funding. With funding came science. Lots of it. Within 100 years democratic countries went from horse and buggy to nuclear, nanotech, microchip and everything else. By opening the markets, the nation grows fat on Corporate tax, but thing is, when people give a lot of money to you, you gotta start listening to them. Suddenly The Church means less.

With the drop in spirituality, so comes the change in the family unit. People are becoming increasingly polygamous, even if we don't see it. We're having children with multiple partners more often. It means for the sake of this essay that the effect of the family on raising children is different.

People are increasingly influenced by the science of child raising. This of course is provided in large part by Universities that get research funding from all sorts of great places. Places with lots of money to spend. So we get breakthroughs in the materials our children are in contact with - Lead and BPA are two of the more prominent breathroughs of this type in the past while. But they spark massive purging and binging sessions as old products are discarded for new. Advancements in child psychology and biology has this mass of information bombarding parents with facts and statistics, some very contradictory (I've seen VERY strong arguments AGAINST c0-sleeping in recent weeks, in sharp contrast to past research I've done). Of course with every new discovery comes a product or a book or a DVD. Because of this potential for money making, there is a lot of shock factor and guilt delivered with their announcements. It shoots up sales. The longer you keep it in the press cycle, the more units you sell.

I'm getting tired of the research and the guilt. I want to find my own path to parenting. Maybe it won't be the right path, but even with all the research and perfect living, well you're condemning yourself to a pretty stressful and boring life. I want to live a little closer to the edge. Emotionally, spiritually and parentally. I want to tickle my child well past the point that you could call it torture. I want to let her scream at the bedroom door for her mom. I don't want to worry about the cup that she drinks from or the food that she eats. I want to be a little negligent, so they can learn to become independent.

And I want ramen noodles for lunch on Saturdays in the winter.

Oh how I ache.

So I discovered this week the wonderful charm of desk-related injury from work. I'm usually pretty achy in the joints in the fall, but mix in my inexperience at a desk and you have an explosive mixture for disaster. (duh duh duh).

I managed to get through Friday with the help of a couple friends called Amanda and Ibuprophen. Sadly, it means I didn't get to celebrate the first TCK show with a drink, but it did allow me to play a great show. A lot of folk showed up, kinda funny, it was the biggest crowd I think I've played since Kerosene. Tonnes of fun, we even made some money and got ourselves another show! Now to figure out how we're gonna make it through the next show... possible longer set and lack of polished material are going to factor in strongly. I should also mention in addition to Amanda and Ibuprophen, the rest of the guys in the band helped me with my heavier gear, a pretty integral part of playing a show.

I made crepes this morning for breakfast. I like making crepes, people think pretty highly of them and yet they are PAINFULLY easy to make. I tell ya, "The Joy of Cooking" is one of those books every household should own. Like the Anarchists Cookbook and How to Program with JavaScript.

I have 2 ocarinas. Real life ocarinas. I have no idea how to play them or where I'd use them. Maybe it's a summer camping project.

But is sounds like the girls are getting out of the tub, which means... dad time soon.

OH YEAH SPANK ME!

So a debate is raging at our house right now over the "Spanking Law" currently under discussion in the Senate. Rhonda is firmly on the side that yes, we should criminalize spanking, I could not think of a more ridiculous way to deal with this issue.

I'm having a great deal of difficulty with this debate, because of my often stated fact that I don't think spanking does a lick of harm. Advocates against argue that there is no communication. I think cause-effect. A child puts hand on burner, burn happens. Communication has occured. Child is stealing dog food-hand slapped- communication occurs. The problem is the definition of communication is set by the anti-spanking folks, and well we all know how that works in debates.

BUT I DIGRESS.

Frankly I understand that my views on spanking are outdated. This is not something I'm gonna change overnight. Just like my grandparents occasionally referring to black people with the magic N word still happens although they know it's not acceptable practice, It's just they're upbringing, so will my views on spanking likely linger my entire life. It's a struggle I will have to endure, and try to do the best for my children, no matter what my personal views are.

What I'm most opposed to is the criminalization of spanking. Rhonda's biggest argument is that spanking is outdated and cruel and we need to do something about it. I find it ludicrous that we're planning on dealing with an outdated and cruel punishment with another outdated and cruel punishment. Jailing and fining people for spanking will not change peoples opinions of spanking, it will only further oppress those who frankly were just raised to think it was right, making they're lives harder and increasing the possibility of incidents that go further than a swat on the butt or slap on the wrist. Full on abuse cases will increase as people try and cope with the fact that they're only known form of discipline has been taken away. Not to mention we all know that the best way to make a criminal is to send them to jail. As to fines.. .well it just lets the rich beat they're kids while the poor are persecuted.

I contest that if we're taking society's ability to spank as a discipinary tactic away, then we are compelled to take criminal imprisonment and fines away. If we are truly trying to move to the next level of society then our governments and leaders need to show us non-violent and non-oppresive discipline before they begin to force it on us.

I'm not arguing that spaking is right. I'm arguing that making it a crime is wrong.

The Pilot' World Orchestra

I've always been someone who has a love of rich full sounding music. I like "epic".

I'd like to share with you a list of instuments, both rare and common that I would have in my perfect "orchestra".

The Beam - a gigantic custom built instument using 24 piano strings it is perhaps most famous in its use on the soundtrack of the film - Chronos. I love it's singing highs and it's rumbling lows.



The Glass Harmonica - invented by Benjamin Franklin, this is a haunting instument that is really just a mechanized version of the ol' wet finger on a wine glass trick. Bet you never knew what they used for that high part in Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy -



The Pipe Organ - You Tube can't do this instrument justice... maybe it's my Catholic upbringing but something about the pipe organ shakes me to my very cockles. No wonder the church uses it... how could you not be inspired by this thing!



The Vibraphone - Ah the great calm after the pipe organs and beams. This is one of the most relaxing and immersive instruments on my list. I just fall right in. My favourite performance is actually on a contemporary track, "Wake Up" by Mad Season. Not a spectacular complex song, but wow... emotion



Timpany - Well we need some more percussion don't we? Lordy.. .this list is full of it. Who can resist the timpany, when I was in school I would spare no effort to try and play the timpany in the band room at least once a week.



Tubular Bells - another old favourite from band class. It's the peircing nature of this one that I love so.



Moog Synth - well c'mon - aside from revolutionizing music, it might be the best instument invented in the past 300 years.



So there's a good start to my orchestra. I'm sure there are many more... not sure how to get all these together, or even what we'd play, but they shape my sound and what I love about music.


What instruments do you like?

Coffee

mmmm. One of the side-effects of marrying Rhonda is that I've become a real coffee snob. We've got our favourite coffees, grind our own every morning and have graduated from the peice of shit Black and Decker drip coffee maker to a French-press. Tres chiq.

I'm really enjoying the French-pressed coffee.. more flavour, less bitter. The only method of making coffee I like more is the percoltor we use when we're camping. Of course it could have to do with the fact that my coffee is 50% Baileys when we're camping. Nah.

Oh and it makes me ponder why people drink Tim Hortons coffee... but then I guess no one said society was SMART.

Futurism!

It's pretty impossible to miss the speed of modernization lately. I'm not sure if its consumerism or just that we reached a critical mass of invention and creativity, but the world is becoming a brighter, safer, cleaner, more controlled, organized and seamless world. It's strange really, but I can see society and civilization as we'rea directed becoming more integrated with nature again in the future. Technology will be there and VERY advanced, but it will work in harmony with nature. Garden of Eden with wireless access on your iPhone. High-speed.

But here's the ticket. It'l be the iPhone Membrane. A film the size of cigarettes with a permanently sticky back side made by 3M. You can peel an stick it anywhere, but usually you just keep it on your forearm. You can also stick it to a thin stand or any perpendicular area which will project it on a wall or flat surface for wider view. Takes input from touch, audio, heat, barometric, GPS, video, wi-fi, cell, satellite... whatever we can hook it to.

Cars I have trouble with. I think the basics are gonna stay the same. People like their cars, I think we'll get better at making driving safer, cleaner, easier and faster. We live in a world that is becoming more democratic, whether it seems so or not. It's a hell of a lot more democratic today than it's ever been in history. People want to do what they want, cars are part of that. Long distance travel will continue to be done in transit fashion, I think someone is gonna invent a really quick blimp. The prospect of space flight excites me, I just hope we have resources to keep up with it.

Biology and medicine are gonna get interesting soon. We do crazy shit now and pass most of it off as ethical. We're only gonna get better at that. Here we come Rhino Man!

Nuclear future is curious. I try not to get in a panic, but odds are pretty good that we're going to run into another catastrophic nuclear event in the future. I know that since times like Chernobyl and Three Mile Island, nuclear safety has become incredibly advanced and maintenance schedules are followed meticulously. But there are getting to be a lot of old nuclear reactors in this old planet, and there's a lot of old waste lying around. And I've seen what can happen to a building if it's not cared for. So if something happens that our attention is diverted for a while... we could see some pretty shitty stuff happen. ie - zombie attack takes out North America. Stay away from cities with nuke reactors.

My band the Criminal Kid is gonna kick some ass next Friday at the Exchange. We gonna have fun. And drink cold beers together afterwards.

The oceans will all die off and I can finally go swimming without worrying about being bit by a jellyfish. Shudder.

Listen to her....

Can't help but laugh a bit. Kayah's in the kitchen emptying every can and box from the Lazy Susan, and I could care less because she's leaving me alone. Can't say the same for the dogs. FEED YOURSELVES!

Noticing how painfully out of date the o'l blog is right now. Not that it's FULL of dead links, but there are more than a few dead blogs, most of the projects I've walked away from and crap I never even look at anymore still up. Bleh! Shoulda upgraded to the new blogger what... 3 years ago now?

Spent the afternoon bored out of my freaking skull at work. Had all my work done by 1:00, the internet there is severely limited and monitored and I'm tucked off in this corner in the middle of no-one since I'm a new position and they just put me somewhere. Stole my red stapler too.

I feel like I did when I first started Pilot's World... just sort of confused as to what I wanted it to be and really just typing words in hopes that something stuck. I don't seem to be able to come up with anything brilliant like the miracles of black and white or the root beer contest. I mean I could try sequels, like HD vs normal TV or a cola contest.. .but c'mon.

Well... I'm just gonna keep typing and typing until something comes out.....

I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning....

So the first show by The Criminal Kid is less than 2 weeks away now. October 9 at the Exchange, we finally unleash a year of work on an unsuspecting public. I say a year, but some of these songs go back as many as 5 years. We had practice tonight and what a jam it was. Doing lead vocals for the first time on a few songs in the band. Getting more confident in my singing, which is making my performance better with every try.

Been enjoying the family's new MacBook Pro this month. Still trying to get all the cables we need to plug our stuff into it, but I think we've all been pretty floored at how easy it's been to do tasks that were lengthy or even impossible on our Windows/Linux computers. I'm not saying we wouldn't have the same ease had we spent the same amount of money on a Windows laptop, but I've had nothing but success with the MacBook. Except the weird-ass Firewire port... but we'll have that fixed soon enough.

Working on a family budget of late. Month end is coming up, so I'll have another spurt of work to do soon enough. I've got a solid game-plan now, so it's a matter of getting it all rolling then supplementing it and moulding it to our needs. Rhonda and I are actually on pretty solid fiscal ground, so we've go nowhere but up to go once we've got this little project into full swing.

Hookers!

So one of the more unusual occurrences that have happened at my place since I moved in has been recurring visits by hookers. Like real live sex-workers. They've come as early as 8 in the evening straight through to 6:30AM.

Last night I had my visit at 6:30 in the morning. Most respond quickly to a "You're in the wrong place, go away or I'm calling the police". But last night's was quite insistent that she was in the right place. She even got a text you know. She was so messed up on something that she was leaning stomach-shoulders and face against my back door. When she did finally leave she took a pretty zig-zag path across the yard.

I'm not really sure what to so about this all. It's very sporadic, but it does happen with some regularity. It's my opinion that my neighbor is sending them as they seem to correlate with our interactions with them. But how do you prove that? My concerns are that a pimp is gonna get pissed and show up with a weapon sometime, or that I'll forget to lock the door one night and next thing, one of these tramps will be in my house. That would have happened last night as she was really trying at the door.

The police in this city are basically useless. I called them the first couple times it happened, and they just said ""well we're busy right now, just lock the doors." So they just continue to come.

I'll keep y'all posted.

The Empire Strikes Back

My favourite Star Wars movie is by far The Empire Strikes Back. Star Wars is great, and Jedi is ok and the rest need no description, but Empire is best.

The best thing about all the other movies, is they make Empire better.

Seriously, without EP2 and EP3 letting us know how fucked up powerful Anakin was, times would not seem as desperate when Luke goes to confront Vader the first time.

I remember watching TESB the first time in school in French. I was just totally damaged watching Luke hang there, holding his arm and screaming. Probably the darkest thing my 5 year old brain had ever seen. I'm pretty sure it was the first Star Wars movie I watched. Its the first I remember.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and watch The Empire Strikes Back again for the first time.

What's this?

And as her blog slowed, his began to gain momentum.

So Rhonda has managed to get me into this "SyFy" (fags) show called Ghost Hunters. Ask anyone who knows me remotely well what my top two favourite movies are - Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2. Hands down. My first winter project will be the new Wii game. God damn! Ghost hunters is fun because it shows a great way to BE a Ghostbuster. If I can just develop that and learn how to be a Jedi ...

Sometimes I think of upgrading and re-vamping Pilots World. The domain is a dating site now and I think maybe 2 people hang out. Who knows. Maybe I need to try a new web project. Retire Pilots World as my personal web project.

But we shall see. I've been thinking.

Doing a good chunk of the online work for The Criminal Kid lately. Been fun to toss together as a coherent project. So much of it is done so easily with social networking lately that I'd like to take the webpage to another level. Do something else with it. Need to think hard about it.

But. Gotta go.

Bye!

BLARGH

BOZZLE NOZZLE BLADDLY NACH!

Uh

Yeah.


GET FUNKY WITH ITW!

GOOD GOD Y'ALL!

So I'm sittin' here....`

... with a baby and a computer on my lap, and I'm thinkin' - "I do NOT want to do the internet anymore" outloud. Internally I'm thinkin' "That bass is sitting 2 feet behind me." Now the logical thing would be to put the baby to bed. But the child, she teeths, and you better bet your sweet bippy that if I put this child down now, a microphone straight from hell will broadcast to my childs lungs the sound of a woman being raped, and to be honest, after this morning, I need a break from that shit. Seriously.

So Rhonda suggests that I blog.

Here's the thing about blogging. The only time I really enjoy it, and the only time I think I'm really letting people read quality writing is when I'm being my most honest self. So I say what I think, which means I get in shit later from someone who takes offence to my hell-rape analogy up there. But you haven't sat with this child screaming for an hour. If that's not what hell sounds like, well then I'll eat my goddamn hat. I don't need that shit. Seriously.

So this leaves me with the question - "What should I blog?".

"You're four paragraphs in Pilot. You retard".

Shut up.

Dick.

So I'm starting a new position at SGI in about a week and a half. My last day as a Building Operator is exactly one week from today. Then three days off and I'm a Clerk. I've never been a Clerk before. A Clerk 5 no less. In Underwriting in Accounts or something then in deliquent accounts, then something .... and voila I show up on Monday to a desk instead of a locker for the first time in my life. Sheeeeit. I'm sure I'll do fine, I can run a computer better than my coffee machine, I have a rudimentary system of personal and time organization, I passed all the tests my first try... and did very well on several, blasted through the interview and here we are, considering the fact that I could be turning in my last uniform on Thursday.

Life changin'. Not yet sure how to handle that shit. Seriously.

Nuclear reactor in Saskatchewan. Huh. Always felt safe in Saskatchewan because we didn't have nukes and due to our small economy never would. You know, even though our economy is supposedly doing well, it's still small. Nukes? We can't afford that. And this isn't just about the hundred gagillion dollars this will cost and how much that can go over budget. This is anout the MILLIONS OF GAGILLIONS it's going to cost when this PRIVATELY OWNED company dissolves in what 10, 20, 300, 2000 years when this company dissolves and this fucking death trap is spewing radioactive iodine all over the goddamn place and the baby's are coming out with heads the size of watermelons. This is a stupid idea. Mark my words.

Have another fish tank, so I moved my Tetra tank to a larger tank in my living rooms and moved the small tank to the bedroom and started a Molly tank. What a treat. They've neen having babies and I've kept a "survival of the fittest" rule on the tank and have a nice balance of fish in the tank right now. If it gets crowded in the tank I'll introduce some "natural selection" of my own, but for now they're a delightful troop. I actually want to replace the tetra tank now with guppies and some more anumated fish like moors - they're so fun.. So that's the tank after the tetras - two years away likely, but I can plan a major tank-reno and go to town.

My band The Criminal Kid released our first demo online a couple weeks ago. I'm not supposed to be pushing it around, but goddamn it, its out there and I'd like people to check it out. I'm really proud of all three songs, they sound great, and we're doing some SUPER exciting writing and work and I cannot wait to find a gig.

Think that's pretty much all for now. Babe is stirring a bit form the typing, and I might have found something to do online.

Be well everyone, thanks for reading!