On owning a lightsaber.

 I am the very proud owner of a new,  primordial lightsaber. First-time owner, it's a one-handed, dagger-like affair that runs off butane. No Kyber crystal vision quest in my future, unfortunately. But it was a fantastic Father's Day nonetheless. 

But even owning this affordable Amazon novelty torch makes me realize how powerful and dangerous a real lightsaber is. 

Trying to be a showoff and light a joint with it, I quickly discovered that a beaked or brimmed hat is a limiting factor. I still don't understand how Obi-Wan can hold his next to his face without losing his beard. I don't know how it survived Mustafar - but let's stay on topic. 

You need to be careful where you point it. 

I wonder about the weight of a lightsaber. Does the blade weigh anything? I've seen discussion online and I join the side that says they must have weight and balance like a stick or sword because otherwise you could just flail it about and shred everything. Plus they seem to put effort into using the tool. 

I've seen theories that lightsabers have sharp or cutting areas and blunt areas. Hence Obi Wan's bouncy sabre in Kenobi. Not mine. If you get close enough, this thing will fuck you up equally from all directions. I think I'd rather have one than a knife in a street fight. 

The torch doesn't have an end-weight, it truly is just a handle, but the jet flame does give you a slight push. I feel like new lightsaber users always have a similar kickback reaction to the weapon igniting. 

I don't know how a Jedi puts a lightsaber back on their belt immediately after use without branding their thigh. We're taking several powers of magnitude hotter than what I got - I'm not cutting through any steel blast doors this weekend. I need to leave mine sitting out for a few minutes before it's cool enough to put away. Even a gunslinger blows on his barrel first. It's best mine didn't come with a belt clip. 

All this to say, no matter how much I beg you, never let me even hold a real lightsaber. I feel like there was a mistake made already that will result in a visit from the fire department or to the burn unit. Maybe both. 

For now, I must be content with a convenient pizza oven lighter, campfire obliterator and a debilitating paranoia about its misuse. 

May the Force be with you. 

Why does LGBTQ2S+ Pride matter to me?

This past Saturday was one of my favourite days of the year, the annual Pride parade here in Regina. I've walked in the parade with a few different organizations for about a decade and I always find it to be a day of joy, love and a bit of "sticking it to the 'phobes."

This year was extra important to many of us in attendance due to recent transphobic policies enacted by the Sask Party government. Pride parades have really become a celebration of sexual and gender diversity, but they have their roots in protest and this year, I was happy that the committee remembered that history. 

I work as a social media manager for a provincial Crown corporation so every year I see the hate and intolerance that so many people have for the LGBTQ2S+ community. I can only speak for myself to say that most people just want to be left alone to live their lives and the fact that there is a very vocal group in this world that can't tolerate that is disgusting to me. 

And that's why I march. That's why I continue to defend the community online through my work. And it's why, over 50 years after the first Pride parade, we're still protesting. 

In my younger, naive days, I thought that the solution to most kinds of intolerance was to just ignore the differences and focus on how we are the same. Certainly, there's value in finding common ground, I think it can help to humanize each other through ignorance. But as Leonard Cohen once noted, variety is the spice box of life. I see my world as more interesting, more nuanced and much more fun because I have gay and transgender friends. And that extends to all the ways we're different. I learn so much from other cultures, gain insights from how others are different and so often, I see how my approach to the world can harm others. 

Sometimes I feel sorry for the willfully and ignorantly intolerant. They've chosen a path that is angry and stressful. Not only does their behaviour hurt the people they target, it hurts themselves. They are turning away from a new friend, a new insight or a fascinating new experience. 

I think the worst part about this subject is summed up in how I can't sum up this post. There was a time that I thought that the screams of intolerance and hate we were hearing were the last gasps of a misguided past. But it seems of late that the voices are getting louder and the progress we were making is starting to walk backwards. As much as I'd like to sit back one year, maybe enjoy the Pride parade from the sidelines, or just ignore the stupidity online, it's as important today as it was in 1970 to stand up for what's right, embrace our differences and redouble our efforts to fight the good fight.

Happy Pride everyone, I love ya for who you ARE! 💜💙💚💛🧡

Punk Rock Pizza

The COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns were a strange thing. 

Some people got smokers. Some people knitted. Some people - made sourdough. 

To be sure, sourdough had long been an interest but with every previous attempt, I'd get busy, go somewhere, forget about it and - mould city. It never got anywhere, but now I wasn't going anywhere and I had some time to kill and wanted to connect with the kids. 

Sourdough is nothing more than smelly living slime, which means it was perfect for slime connoisseur, Kayah. We named our first starter Bobette and embarked on some experimentation. One Friday night, we made pizza dough with the starter discard. We hung out in the kitchen, making pizzas while I bombarded Kayah with some of punk rock's historical highlights. It was a great night of company, food and music. 

I'm always looking for a reason to alliterate and in a quick trade with Rhonda, we quickly found Pilon Punk Rock Pizza Party. A reason to eat good pizza and listen to music. 

We've repeated it semi-regularly ever since. Sure, we made a few sourdough loaves and delivered them to family and co-workers. But that pizza dough has persisted. We've been through Bobbette 1-23 but we still make up fresh batches of dough as much as possible. 

Last summer I bought a small portable wood pellet oven. It's easy to use and fun but I can't say what I'd do for a brick pizza oven in my backyard! 

Retirement goals I guess.

This past Christmas, I embarked on a very optimistic project of making a ball of sourdough pizza dough accompanied by a hand-cut punk 'zine and sticker by Rhonda (and an AI but I won't tell!) as a gift for all my friends and family. I think I made about 20 Punk Rock Pizza Parties in all. It was well received, but I think the execution lacked a bit and I don't think I'd do the same kind of project again. Or I'd at least use a stand mixer.

I ponder what I'd like to do next with it. I started a Redbubble store a few months ago with the thought that I might find some kind of merchandise angle, but it's just not quite what I have in mind yet. 

Only time will tell. Until then, if I can ever pop by your place with my oven, I provide the dough, and you provide the toppings. Let's listen to some punk music and have a slice - or twelve.

ibUILTakEYBOARD

 Grreatnews,igotmykeyboardtogether.Badnews,thespacebarandtheenterkeydontwork.#

Welltheenterkindaworkssometimes.Butit'sloose.##

IneedtogodosomemoreworkIguess.

Buildin' a keyboard

A few months ago, Rhonda and I were “antiquing” as old fogies like us are wont to do. In a dark back corner of one antique shop, we came across some shelves of mechanical typewriters. I cheekily commented that since I now work as a writer, I should probably have one on a shelf that I never use. It took three keystrokes for me to tangle the arms on one and I quickly remembered that using a pen is better than an old typewriter and I had no use whatsoever for such a machine. 

 I did realize that I could really use a nice keyboard for typing at work and thus I went down the endless rabbit hole that is mechanical keyboards. For the uninitiated, building custom mechanical keyboards is all the rage right now, and you can customize everything from the feel of the switches to the keycaps to the cable – have I mentioned soldering LEDs yet. You get the picture. 

The result is about 8 weeks of waiting patiently for parts and tools to arrive from all four corners of China (and one thing from Vancouver). Turns out that was the easy part. The last parts came in the mail yesterday so I sat down at the kitchen table to start in earnest. 

And learned why not everyone does this. 

My fingers hurt from pushing in sharp switches and stabilizers and I nearly went mad when I realized I had to pull every switch because I needed to put the stabilizers in first. It’s been a real journey. So all that to say, hopefully, someday, I will write this blog from a nice thocky, fancy keyboard. 

But not today. Today, it’s my worn-out Dell work keyboard with all the letters rubbed off.

Sweet 16 (You gonna go ahead and post again like that?)

 In the spirit of keeping the momentum moving for restarting this and because I have a big day to celebrate, I'm posting again. 

Today is my daughter Kayah's SIXTEENTH birthday. Lordy. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAY!

It's my second go-round with a sixteen-year-old but it doesn't make this any easier. Time flies until you stop and realize that baby that kept you up every night for six years is ready to get her license and you're ready for her to so that you can get a night off of driving her everywhere. 

We don't have a ton planned for her tonight but I do hope she has a fantastic day and appreciates the drum of stale crackers I got her as a gift. 

When tomorrow is four years away

So, what brings me back to this dump this time? Another pandemic? Maybe YouTube is down for the afternoon? Some kind of injury that renders my lower half useless but leaves my brain and typing thingies untouched? Hardly.

This time, it’s at least a bit less disaster-dependent – even if this blog has always been a disaster. This past Easter I was chatting with my brother Andrew from Randomization about the excellent YouTube vlog, Vlog Brothers. I was expressing how that back-and-forth was interesting and might be something we could try.

Andrew, being the more reasonable and realistic of us two, noted that editing a video every week sounded an awful lot like work but that we did still have those old blogs kicking around – maybe we could try there?

So, we’ve assigned each other a day a week to post and… let’s see how far this goes! Be sure you’re subscribed, liked or glonked over at Randomization so you can catch his first post on Thursday!

Eight Years? WTF?!

Yes yes, I know. It's been a while. And I didn't exactly leave things in any sort of good way. But then again, does a real blogger ever QUIT blogging? 

According to this post, no they do not.

So why start back up now? Well a few reasons but the biggest one is that I'm now stuck at home for an indefinite period of time due to the COVID-19 break-out and I wanted to journal a bit of that. Additionally, I write for a living now and I need somewhere to practice a bit and keep my skills up. MAD skillz.

So what have I been up to between Steven Harper banishing the penny and the world coming to a screeching halt? Are these things connected? Did I ever finish watching all of Lost?  All excellent questions, all will be answered in time.

In the last eight years, things have been interesting. I think I'd already built my full complement of children by the time I posted last, Tai, Kayah and Jonas. We moved to a bigger house in 2014 and we've been living the 'hood life with them and 3 animals. 

Yeah, three animals.  For those who followed this blog but somehow didn't keep up with me otherwise, the sweet beauty that was Bootsy passed away back in 2014 not long after we moved. It wasn't necessarily a clean end and it still breaks my heart to think of those final weeks with someone so gentle. 

Before Bootsy left us we did welcome another pet into the household however, Chopstick the tabby cat.  We had a bit of a mouse problem and Choppy was simply the best in the business- and he hasn't let us down.  We experienced nothing short of disaster when some jackwagon from the neighbourhood shot poor Choppy in the butt, vaporizing the bones in one of his hind legs.  He survived but lost a leg.  He can still catch mice like no one's business.  You don't mess with Chop.

Finally, Bootsy somehow returned to us in the form of an adult-female husky named Leika that we adopted in October 2014. She's the embodiment of that dog and has proven to be an excellent caregiver to our children and a kind loving companion. 

The Criminal Kid found it's end in around 2015-16 (it was all a little fuzzy). We're still all friends and do jam on occasion - lots of stories there but for another time.  I did putz around a few other bands but have frankly struggled to play with anyone for the last 5 years or so.  To supplement, I started a radio show with my brother, Andrew, called The Cockpit on 91.3 FM CJTR in Regina.  My involvement with the station has been very intense and I find myself currently the president of the Board of Directors for the station. A trying job in trying times I can assure you.


Well, that's about enough updates for now.  I'll post again tomorrow - probably more COVID-19 related because there are some thoughts and observations I'd like to write down at this early part of the disaster.  We'll do more catching up in the weeks ahead. I have stories to tell and I'm looking forward to talking to you again.

Stephen Harper - pennyscourge

Steven arrived home after a long hard day of handshaking and baby kissing. He walked to the fireplace, dumped off a load of change from that hippie bakery on the mantle.

His face darkens as he separates the copper from the silver and in a loud booming voice he cried "I WILL DESTROY YOU".

Best thing that man has ever done. The legacy project to end all legacy projects

Solar Imaging

Last weekend I attended the annual Saskatchewan Summer Star Party in Cypress Hills Interprovincial Park.  I HIGHLY recommend this outing for anyone with an interest in astronomy.  I learned more in 3 days - particularly about telescopy and observing - than I've learned in the past year on my own.

I was very fortunate to have access to my dad's 8" Schmidt-Cassegrain telescope on a motorized mount in  addition to my very old (30 years almost!) 4" on equatorial mount.  Big words.  I know.

The best part though is that I was let loose with the motorized Cassegrain during the day last Saturday.  So I took out my nifty iPhone telescope mount, some filters and a big ol' sun and got some great shots!

So Tired

Being a father has had a ridiculously negative affect on my sleep.  I thought working shift work was bad, but having one child who has night terrors and another that is still nursing through the night means that I haven't slept with any regularity basically in the four years since Kayah was born. 

I normally have never been one to be too pissy about losing some sleep - and I've not only been operating but actually thriving in the past few years so it can't be that bad.  But there are days where I can't lift my head by supper time.  And I drink too much coffee.  Way too much.

That''s a SPICY Meatball

So when you start looking at all the stuff out there in that big old space thing, a few things come clear.  As time passes and things break apart, they cool.  So anything of a certain age or certain size has cooled from a ball of lava to say - a rock.  That changes things, because atmospheres disappear and the places become big crater balls.  There are moons around Saturn and Jupiter with active volcanos.  They're still seismically active, just like Earth.

So this got me wondering, will the Earth eventually cool and harden to rock?  When this happens, the giant mass of iron at the center of the planet will stop spinning and the magnetic field that protects us from the worst of the sun will stop.  Freaky stuff.

So tonight I did some looking at it seems that in fact, the Sun will go red giant and vapourize the planet way before that happens.  The earth would take 10,000,000,000 years to solidify, but the sun will destroy the earth in 7,600,000,000 years.  The sun takes it by a hair.  If we don't do it first.

Refreshing.

Mark Interacts with another animal.

Can it be? Yep, let's get this blog Rick rolling in style.

Mark interacts with Bootsy

Divide and Conquer

One of the driving forces for getting Pilot's World rolling again is that I have a desire to share some of my hobbies with the world. Twitter does this a bit, but it's not the best outlet. I considered starting some specific blogs, but to be sure, I'm too lazy. So I'll put it all here

I will use tags an try to set things up so that you can find what it is you want to see.

I'm going to start having subject features that fall in with my interests.

Astronomy - photos, drawings and anything else I can think of. I have much of this on my wife's Flickr page right now, I'll be moving it here soon

Camping - reviews of gear, camp inventions and thoughts. My family and I are avid tent campers and I want to share my thoughts on the subject.

Music - I'm winding down my time with my band, The Criminal Kid, but I have a lot to do there yet. I'm also planning on a solo project incorporating some more noodly jam stuff and a punk band. I also want to start an indie musician advice column focusing primarily on the subject of live performance.

Photography - I will likely have less emphasis on this subject than in the past, but I love instagram and I like taking pictures. Some of that will end up here too.

Minecraft - I run a private MInecraft server, it's the best game ever. So I'll probably do stuff with that here, but I don't know how just yet.

Ok let's get this going again why not?

Keep up with me on Twitter - @PilotsWorld. I've got some witty things there I suppose.

Gonna put some photos together and reformat the page.

Congrats

Congratulations to Danny Martin and Nathan Van Betuw who won a pair of tickets each to our show at McNally's on May 26th!

Tickets to this show are available from the band, so get in touch with us if you want tickets. We will debut 3 never before heard songs at the show, so come on out and get your full fix of the The Criminal Kid!

Mark Interacts With Animals - 5th Time!

So to celebrate the impending visit from one of my oldest and bestest friends, I present you with a long overdue.. and frankly pretty old picture of MARK INTERACTING WITH ANIMALS!

Ahh Coffee

So the wife and I are in deep discussions on re-doing our living room. What we have now fit in the "barely functions" category. We still have an old CRT TV (LD bizzatches!) whose sound doesn't really work anymore (most viewing is at 80% max volume or higher), a monstrously large couch/hideabed/two recliner couchtrosity that has a habit of eating anything and everything that comes near it. A week doesn't go by that I don't walk in to see one of the kids or one of the dogs struggling to escape its bottomless pit.

Of course we're agonizing to no end over how to use our limited budget and credit options to the best end. And of course there is always some TV on for a great price that is just a little smaller than we'd like or a couch that is perfect for our plans but costs a hellatillion bux.

Sigh.

Well we'll get it figured out soon enough.

I'd Like to Build a Doomsday Device.

There are many reasons I'd like to build a Doomsday Device.

A Doomsday Device, for those of you who live under a rock , is a theoretical weapon that could wipe out all life on the planet. Thankfully for all of us reading and writing this blog, none have been used yet. At least not here on Earth.

Now one might ask what a lower middle-class ... or maybe upper lower class... or maybe something else... average or so guy like me want with a device that could destroy all life on the planet or even the entire planet?

Well I'll tell you.

Firstly, upon completion it significantly improves your resume. Building a doomsday device is a pretty tecnically advanced project, and I'm certain you would find few jobs would turn you away when you can show them you built a device capable of ending the lives of 8 billion people.

The challenge of building a doomsday device is pretty attractive too. I'm sure brainstorming ways of spreading chemicals to all ends of the earth or figuring out how to space and detonate nuclear warheads so that they amplify their shock waves would be really interesting.

In order to assemble a doomsday device I'm certain one would have to attain some very difficult things, completely in secret so that party-poopers won't know what you're up to. I'm certain you would need to do a fair bit of travel to find and import what you need. Seeing the world is definitely a perk

Of course its going to make travel a lot easier once its done too. When you've got a weapon of total destruction, it doesn't make much difference if you're on the plane or on the other side of the planet. Why bother with the check, you're screwed either way. Carry on sir. Next.

Respect. We all need it. I'm sure I'd get it.

Free Ramen. Feed me or I kill everyone anyone ever knew. Ever.

Heck I could even make up a new title. Doomsayer Pilot. That has a nice ring to it. Armageddanaut.

I'm not really sure about this one, but again, who knows. I figure once you've got a machine capable of complete eradication of the human race, they'll give you a golden Safeway card that will get you anything in the store for the difference between regular price and club price. Like if regular price for ketchup if $4.50 and the club price is $4.29, gold card gets it for $0.21. Total sweet benefit.

It might seem pretty selfish to want a doomsday device, but you can see how much things would improve if I simply had a device capable of destroying the planet. It would have its downsides like my wife would always be looking for a reason why I should get it out of the basement, and I'm sure it could leak sometimes which would be some bad business. But I think overall, a doomsday device would be a pretty sweet deal.

Blackberry Post

Woo posting from my Crackberry.