Parenting Realized

One of the biggest parts of my life that's been missed in the Great Non-Bloggening, and indeed part of the reason for non-blogging, is parenting three fascinating children - Tai Lin, Kayah and Jonas. Three amazing people, each with something marvellous to offer the world and endless potential. 

So, a real pain in the ass.

I can't say that I've really taken to parenting. I take it seriously and do my best to give them everything they need but were I to make the choice with today's knowledge - I dunno. I know I've never achieved the kind of "parenting is so special" feelings that my mom and others push on me. It's been a lot of hard work with very few benefits coming back my way. 

But this past Friday was different. 

Over the past year and a bit, Jonas has taken to football. He plays constantly in the schoolyard with his friends and has even broken his nose a few times going for a pass. So when he approached us begging to play tackle football in the Regina Minor Football league, who was I to say no? 

We got him signed up and started in. He was assigned to the Peewee Vikings, a fortuitous team assignment since the Minnesota Vikings are the favourite team of Jonas's papacy-pursuing grandpa. As things got rolling for the team, a call went out for volunteers to coach and manage. I have no experience coaching and some recent health issues mean that I might not have the mobility needed to coach so I put my hand up to manage. 

Not my smartest move. 

Managing has been a bigger challenge than I ever expected. Since none of my kids have done sports at this level, there's a lot that I didn't know about the culture and way of things. I'm learning but it's been a very steep curve and a lot of work. Add to that the fact that the person who was going to co-manage and mentor me a bit has been absent and largely an issue herself and - it's been frustrating. 

But boy when those kids get out on the field to play. After two games, the team is not only undefeated but they haven't let their opposing teams score a single point. All thanks to Jonas's impenetrable defensive line! 

The game this last Friday was extra exciting. Not only did they produce a 50-0 finish, but Jonas made his first big play this weekend with a fantastic interception. To celebrate, we went out for wings at Jonas's request. I was advised that the phrase was "winner, winner, chicken dinner." Who am I to argue.

Watching Jonas take so strongly to something, enjoy himself deeply and just excel at it has given me a taste of that satisfaction in parenting. Friday night might have been one of the happiest evenings I've had in a while, just celebrating his victories and feeling like my efforts have been for the right cause. 

And there's a lot more to it than the victories. Getting the chance to talk with Jonas on the drive to practice, sharing new stories, watching him face discipline and adversity and pushing through and just generally watching him grow and come out of his shell. It's very satisfying. 

And of course, it's given me the chance to enjoy Jonas's fantastic humour. He's always been funny, from a little baby, this kid knew how to laugh and make people laugh. Every time he's been in deep trouble, it's been a joke he took too far. 

After his first game, I noted to him that the first play off the game was on the 44-yard line, the final score was 44-0 and his jersey number is 44. How did he reply?

"Woah. I'm the main character."

Main character indeed. I better not tell him he caught that interception on the 44-yard line. 

The Room

I think that eveyone wants a place to call their own. I certainly can't say that I'm underprivileged in this respect. I have a wall in the garage to store my tools, a corner in the office for my amp and a little desk to pile all the crap I never complete on. Not to mention that I've basically sculpted the kitchen in my image. But these places have never quite added up to the space that I've always wanted.  

But these little corners crammed in amongst the living space I share with my family has never quite met my vision of a space to escape to and be creative. 

I think the first time that I really saw the kind of thing I was looking for was Le Studio, the maker space used by one of my favourite food YouTubers, Alex "French Guy" Cooking. I liked the idea of having two disparate creative spaces in such close proximity - and it had never occurred to me to put a kitchen and workshop together. And I continue to think that maybe it isn't a good idea anyway. I'm not one for sawdust in my macaroni salad. 

But I would love to have a space that is a bit sound/practice studio, a bit workshop, a bit hangout space and a bit office/den. I think I can keep the kitchen where it is. 

In many ways, I could probably make this happen now with the resources I have. As mentioned, I have some space in the garage but there's limitations there. It's not heated so it becomes unuseable for about 5 months a year, especially for a hangout or studio. The basement is a space I could make fantastic use of but the ceiling is shorter than I am and there is a serious shortage of lighting and electrical outlets. 

But of course, I often think about how much I'm flexing my privilege just by wanting a space like this. I'm lucky enough to be a homeowner and that reality alone makes it possible to have the little cubbies I do. Perhaps in time I'll put together some money to update the electrical in the basement or weather proof the garage. And I suppose the biggest thing is figuring out if I could even justify the cost and effort of having such a space. It's one thing to dream about it, it's another altogether to actually find a use for it. 

What kind of spaces would you like to put together like Le Studio? Is it required by law to have a pinball table in it?  

The big Lie

 I've really been enjoying the return to blogging over the last few months. It's a fun creative outlet and I finally have somewhere to dump my tirades and deluded manifestos. But saying that this return to blogging is a 2024 trend is not quite the truth. 

No, I'm not talking about my recent move into professional communications. I do spend a lot of time writing articles, news releases and other stuff that could be called "blogs". But that's not what I'm talking about.

This is hard to admit. 

I'm a food blogger. 


If it's any consolation, I'm not a good one. In fact, I'm downright lazy about it. 

It came from repeated requests from all three of the kids to start writing down the recipes of the food I make for them. Fried rice, "homemade" hamburger helper, pizza, corn salad, lemonade and a million more recipes are a big part of my family's diet and something that the kids want to preserve and carry on. I'm honoured. I suppose. 

Typically, the request was that I should write a cookbook. But I haven't used a cookbook in decades and I've noticed that this internet thing doesn't seem to be going anywhere. So I figured why not start a food blog with my recipes.

And so was born An Orange Kitchen. 

I don't post very often, and I find it challenging to put into words some recipes that are more about technique than they are ingredients. It's why my pizza and fried rice recipes still haven't been posted.

The only rule I have for the blog is no preamble. The recipe must come first. I can (and do) post-amble, it's fine to give a recipe a story or some context. But no one... hold on a sec. FOOD BLOGGERS PAY ATTENTION - NO ONE WANTS TO READ YOUR LIFE STORY WHEN THE'RE TRYING TO GET A RECIPE FOR SOUVLAKI. It can wait until I learn how much pork I need. 

I do hope to continue contributing recipes, maybe get a bit motivated to write up the more complex ones and who knows - maybe one day I'll put some money down and get the recipes bound up into a book I can give out as a present. But for now, it's a work in progress. And it's a lie. A big old lie. 

Squeezing humour out of a stone

 A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I'd found some new inspiration and was working on doing a music/humour project. It's been a bit frustrating trying to find the time to work on the project but I'm happy to report that I've got 4 songs in various levels of completion and a notepad full of more ideas. Really it's just capacity slowing me down. 

I picked up some books recently to help me along the path, 5 Tight Minutes, A guide to Joke Writing, Performing and Selling and Comedy Writing Self-Taught Workbook. I don't have a comedy mentor to ask questions of and I'd really like to make my first public appearance with some level of study and expertise. Today's blog post is based on Exercise 6 from the Self-Taught Workbook - In the News. 

The exercise challenges the reader to find a news article, become familiar with it, then answer a series of questions in a funny or humourous way. So let's give it a shot! 

The first challenge is just picking a news article. Not all news can be laughed at, at least not at first so you've got to walk a particular line when picking. For my part, I chose "Saskatchewan moves to restrict cellphone use in all K-12 schools."

Now let's find the funny!

Who is affected by this?

The people who are most affected by this change are the teachers who can no longer depend on cell phones to distract students when there's no good lesson plan. Teachers across the province are being forced to re-learn the rules for 7-Up

Who is happy about this?

Finally, those nuts at the farmer's market talking about the dangers of 5G and contrails are having their voices heard. At least for 8 hours a day, our kids will be protected from damaging radiation. Still no word on fluoride in school water. 

Who is upset about this? 

Saskatchewan parents are most upset about this change as they now have to listen to their school age children complain about not having their phones in class. For the first time in over a decade, parents and their kids are being forced to interact using their voice boxes. 

What would happen if this happened at a different point in history?

Had this kind of ban happened in the late 1800's it's possible that the entire Communist uprising of the 1900s would not have occurred. By taking away the means of communication from students, such toxic ideas would not have been spread and perhaps we could have avoided a long and costly Cold War. Unfortunately, the means for banning cell phones did not exist in the late 1800s. 

Will it affect daily life?

Yes, students will now awake to the world around them and finally realize that our schools are under-funded and falling apart. 

Will it affect my wallet?

This will have a terrible effect on my wallet when my kids have their phones taken away and convince me that I need to buy replacements so that I'm able to continue communicating with them at home. 

What changes will take place because of this? 

Phone charging demands will plummet across the province. This will lead to a surplus of energy in the provincial power grid and facilitate the decommissioning of several coal-powered electrical facilities. The resulting reduction in greenhouse gases will cause winter to start two months early in the province, draining municipal snow removal budgets, bankrupting the province. 

How will it affect the future?

Students will lose the ability to ignore adults while watching videos of Japanese women eating ramen. As a result, the brains of Saskatchewan youth will shrink by 10%, creating a rush of purchases for smaller hats and toques across the province. 

Will there be long-term effects?

The reduced wear and tear on the mobile devices of such a large section of the Saskatchewan population will permanently lower sales of these devices across the province. The reduced income will bankrupt the Crown-owned SaskTel resulting in a complete collapse of the provincial government. 

What would famous people think of this?

When we reached for a comment, representatives of musical artist Chappelle Roan informed us that all new releases are on hold until this situation is resolved. Without students consuming her music during school time, there is no financial viability for her and all projects are on hold. 

What would the Average Joe say about this? 

We took to the streets of Saskatchewan to find comments on this situation from the general public. Most everyone was too busy arguing over whether Twisters is better than its pregenitor Twister to comment. 


A fun little exercise, and aside from taking it out to some extremes, I'm not sure this was overly funny. But a good exercise nonetheless. I'm eager to keep working through my books, keep writing, practicing and hopefully soon - performing!