I think it goes...

...without saying that sometimes life isn't exactly what you planned. Hell if i ever make any plan, it's pretty sure to backfire and fuck me over once or twice before finally leaving me to stew in my own self pity at how much my life sucks. Such is the nature of life.

What makes these times survivable has alot to do with the good people you surround yourself with. I really don't know that I can say enough thank you's to my friends and family who have stuck with me over the past 6 years. Some felt I was too hard to be around and left... and that's too bad because I think I have alot to offer. From bad jobs to a very confusing relationship, I don't know how I've made it this far, but somehow I always try to look on the positive side. And as shitty as I've been feeling the past week and a half, there have been some good people looking out for me. Corey, thanks for the invite, Jeff thanks for the absinthe, Andrew thanks for the rides, Mom thanks for the advice, Mark and Rob, thanks for the music.

Here's a present a little early... my resolutions for 2006 and beyond.

I'm gonna quit the Inn tommorrow. Possibly on the spot. I'm not gonna be walked on anymore. Corey and Laura at the Movie Factory have taken exceptional care of me, and have really shown me what it's like to have good friends AND a good boss. I'll be starting full time at the store as soon as I like, and I like to start soon! I'm gonna go to New Years at Rhondas, I'm gonna play guitar and i'm gonna drink absinthe... not too much, just enough.... and I'm gonna have a good time because i'm sick and tired of missing out on the fun and hearing about it later.

I'm gonna go see Queen in march. That's right, you read right. I'm going to see mother FUCKING Queen in MinneFUCKINapolis March 6 with Corey. And I'm gonna enjoy myself then rub it in the face of my friends... because that's the kind of asshole I'm gonna be in 2006.

I'm gonna (try to) stop pining about what I've lost and look forward to what I can gain in the future and stop making stupid mistakes just because I can/i'm retarded. I gotta leave the past where it is, no matter how hard that is and how many nights I spend awake/crying.

I'm gonna buy a console gaming system and I'm gonna waste a ridiculous amount of time playing video games. I don't care, I want to.

I'm gonna go camping more. Even alone or with Bootsy. I wish I could find some time right now to go... it's pretty nice out all and all and I think I could have fun with it.

I'm not gonna worry about school or careers for a bit. I'm obviously not ready and the rest of the world is to blame for making me think I should be.

I'm gonna start a band, hopefully in the extended-jam style that I'm currently obsessed with.


And I'm gonna keep blogging, because where else can I force all you good people to listen to me bitching!