Time to get moving along

 I've mentioned my frustration with work and life a couple of times over the last year. It's such a weird position to be in because in the same breath that I'm fed up with my place in life, it's a nice enough rut that it's hard to get out of. I don't feel particularly motivated to apply on jobs or run off to the woods. 

Yet another modern Catch-22 of my own making. 

The Navigator visited this weekend, and we had a chance to talk about work. We talked about his recent job move and what he's doing to find himself in the right position. It was inspiring to me. Being at the same company for 18 years makes switching jobs an anxiety-filled proposition. But here he is, looking at his options mere weeks after starting a new job. Far out. 

Photo of me with handsome nephew Capone for context. 

Coming into work yesterday, I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place and frankly lacking the motivation to find my way out. Granted, trying to launch a music project is part of that. As is raising a family and trying to keep up with the Joneses. 

So I decided to leave it for this week. Just relax. I start a long stretch of holidays on the 24th, and I'll focus more on job applications and work stuff at that time. 

I'm considering using the career counselling services I can get through my work employee assistance program as well. It's not just wanting to change companies or managers - I think it's time I looked at a new path or challenge. If I knew I stood a chance in hell, I'd just dump every ounce of energy into music. But there doesn't seem to be much of a future there. It's gonna be more of a part-time gig. 

And maybe I should just forgive myself for being burnt out on life. 

Who knows. 

No, for real...

 ...this is probably not a world we should be bringing children into. 

I've always had this lingering memory from a movie or TV show I watched when I was a kid. It depicted a future world of pollution and filth. The sky was orange, there was smoke everywhere, and everyone was wearing a mask. I'm not totally sure what the movie is; it could be the 1981 film Heavy Metal, but I wasn't able to find the imagery in my mind during a cursory search online. 

In any case, the world depicted in this poorly remembered media has become the world I see outside lately. We've all been wearing masks on and off for the past half decade (oh did I mention that there was a goddamn PANDEMIC during the quiet time on this blog?). The past three or four summers have seen the skies get very orange due to wildfires all over the place. Just last week, La Ronge, the birthplace of this blog, was badly damaged due to wildfire. A lot of history was lost when the former Robertson's trading post burned to the ground. 

And beyond the environmental and the epidemiologic, there is also a fentanyl and meth epidemic going on that seems to be touching everyone lately. A co-worker had to give someone in distress Narcan a couple of weeks ago, and this Sunday, Rhonda and I took our turn. While walking the dogs on Sunday afternoon, we came upon someone giving a woman chest compressions in the alley. We stopped and lent aid until emergency services showed up. At which point, she jumped up and ran away! 

And then there is what's happening south of the border. I would say all of us have seen this coming, and for the first time, I'm hearing the whispers that the second American Civil War is starting to develop. I don't know what a modern civil war will look like, but I can't see this ending without the need to make some new maps. As if Las Angeles hasn't been through enough this year. 

Things are ugly, and they only look like they're going to get uglier. 

And it's hard to know what to do as an individual. I've been recycling my pop bottles and walking to work, but that hasn't done anything for the pollution. I voted, but authoritarianism is in full swing. I've engaged in Truth and Reconciliation, but indigenous people are still being ravaged by drugs and poverty. 

So maybe that's the whole thing. Maybe all I can do is encourage everyone to stop having kids and just relax. After all the musicians played while the Titanic sank because there was nothing else to be done. Guess I'll go strum my guitar and wait for the air to become unbreathable. 

Faith and Begorrah

A few weeks ago I stumbled on an episode of the “WithinReason” podcast hosted by Alex O’Connor where he spoke to Good Mythical Morning host Rhett McLaughlin about his break from the “White Southern Evangelical Christian Church”. Specifically, I think he broke away from a form of Baptist church, but the discussion is about the strong evangelical aspect of churches from the American south.

I’ve known about Good Mythical Morning for a decade or more, Kayah and I would watch it when she was little. It’s basically a morning talk show on YouTube – with millennial trappings. So think less Regis Philbin, more Tom Green.

Rhett wasn’t alone in what he calls his “spiritual deconstruction,” his co-host Link Neal also embarked on the journey. They both grew up in the Baptist church and were even heavily involved in recruitment and evangelicalism during college. They had fully consumed the grape flavour-aid.

The deconstruction started for Rhett when he started exploring what he was being told about evolution in the church and what science and the rest of the world were saying. For Link, it was around the way gay people were treated by the church. Of course, that’s a major oversimplification of their journeys but it gives you an idea of what started their journey.

It’s led me into quite the deep dive about their journey because it so connected with the journey I’ve had leaving the Catholic Church.

Now, my journey is not the same as theirs. Mine was a lot quieter and I wasn’t nearly as entrenched in it as they were. While I know there are members of my family who would feel better if I went to mass every week, for the most part I’ve been allowed to follow my path where it takes me.

I think the part that I most identified with was the identification of the hypocrisy I was being fed and how pulling that thread started unravelling everything.

For me, like Link, it was how gay people were being treated that didn’t make sense. Especially when combined with the endless allegations of abuse and rumours of gay activity within the clergy. And to be clear, I’m not judgmental that there are gay people expressing themselves in the clergy. I’m critical of the hypocrisy of saying no one else can be gay. And I find the abuse of minors and others to be abhorrent not only to God but to humans as well.

But there were things that came up earlier that pushed me over the edge once I started questioning things.

I may not have been as entrenched in my church as Rhett and Link were, but I was still very involved at a time. I was deeply involved in youth ministry and summer camps from about grade 6 until sometime in high school. I went on retreats, jamborees and did a lot of things that in retrospect were pretty weird. Anyone who attended one of the SEARCH weekends can attest to that.

One of my strongest influences at the time was a priest who served at my church in town right out of seminary and was the camp priest at the summer camp I went to. He’s a very good man so I’m not going to out him here – but in looking back, conversations with him contributed to my departure from the church as well.

He was always great at making Jesus and the bible compelling and fun. And he thought outside of the box. He told me something once that always stuck with me, “I know atheists who do a better job of living the word of Jesus than most Christians.” It made it clear to me that living a good life and being good to people doesn’t require faith.

But my view of this particular gentleman was shaken the day I asked him his thoughts on the Robin William’s movie, What Dreams May Come. In the film, Robin Williams’ character loses his wife who dies by suicide. He finds a way to go to hell and saver her to bring her back. It’s a movie that really explores the spiritual and everything that goes on outside of the human experience. But my priest friend was having none of it. He insisted that only God could rescue us from hell and that was the end of the conversation.

I tried to engage him more but for the first time in my friendship with him, he got mad. This was not to be discussed. Which brings to mind one of the most powerful observations that has come out of learning about Link and Rhett’s deconstruction – the difference between being curious and being right.

During one of the podcasts I consumed, it was noted that the difference between the religious right and the rest of us is that the religious right are obsessed with being correct. While the rest are more curious and want to grow. And that speaks to my core. Most of the time, I don’t really care about being right – especially if it’s not about the safety and wellbeing of others. I’d rather ask questions or event better – listen than be right about everything in the world. But most religious people I know are obsessed with being right.

So as I entered high school and moved to college, I got curious. I looked at other Christian denominations but they all seemed like just different flavours of kool-aid. Muslims were interesting for a while and I’m glad I got curious about them when everyone else was trying to have an opinion about them after 9/11. Buddhism was very interesting for me for a while but at the end of the day, it still felt like a human translating the divine.

In the end I concluded that if there is a God, he’d be more concerned with me living a good life and loving my neighbours than if I was going to church every week or trying to convince others to drink the same kool-aid. And for the most part, until a couple of months ago, that’s pretty much where the story ended. I don’t wear it on my sleeve, I try not to attack people with faith. Just live and let live.

But boy hearing about religious deconstruction shook me up. It’s made me realize the core of some of my self-doubt, my constant guilt and even why I can get so deeply judgemental at times. It makes me think that maybe I need to find some support or counselling about that. I do feel sad about the loss of community that comes with leaving a church. And I think I crave a sense of ritual or spirituality to ground myself and put my negative energy into. I don’t know what that is per se, but I know it’s something missing.

And there is something divine about the world. I don’t know if it’s a god, or many gods. But there is something spiritual about the feeling you get when that first layer or lacquer is wiped on to a fresh piece of wood. Something out there is ensuring that Elvis is on the radio when you’re heading out of town to say goodbye to your grandma.

It sure feels like something’s out there. And maybe it’s time I started looking for it again. 

Annum Horriblis

Defying all odds, tomorrow will be one year since I (and The Navigator) got back into blogging. And I don't think either of us has missed an assigned day, although we both enjoy being late. 

In terms of our original goal of just keeping in touch with each other, I'd say mission accomplished. I'm very glad that The Navigator insisted on this being a blog and not a video. First, I would have given up on video a few times during this experiment. Plus, it's been very rewarding to dust off old Pilot's World and bring it back to life. I'd forgotten how fun blogging is. 

I'd also forgotten the original motivation to journal my life a bit that Pilot's World offered. It's a regret I've developed over the year - that I didn't keep it up so I have some stories from the last ten years or so recorded. Some of that is in other places on social media, but the blog is such a nice long-form medium. 

And there's so much more to do in the future! 

Looking back on what I've written this year, I've noticed that I have barely talked about the dogs, even though I hang out with them constantly. I've got a handful of posts drafted out for the next few weeks, including returning to the Bronco Game, talking a bit about spirituality and an update about how it is, in fact, gout. 

I'd also like to freshen things up around here a bit, maybe make the place look better. I made a very weak attempt at a new banner logo (up top there) last week, but it's not great. It's just something. 

Overall, very proud to have reached a year, happy that the Navigator has been along for the ride and maybe, just maybe, we can inspire some other old-timers from the heady blogging days of the early 2000's to join us this year! (I'm looking at YOU STEVE). 

Say it Frenchie!

Over the past month, I've taken on a new challenge: I'm learning French. Oui, Je parle en francais.

It actually started as part of the job competition I talked about last week. I thought I could bring some new value to the team by interacting with the French-speaking media when needed. It might not have helped me land that job, but that failure has redoubled my commitment to learn this. Maybe someone else will see the value in having a bilingual communicator. 

So, how am I doing it?

It started off in the way that I think most people would start something like this in 2025, I downloaded an app. I started with CBC's app "Mauril." I started up a few levels since, as I mentioned at the start, I do have some foundation in French. I'm not sure how good it would be for a completely new learner. It's a great "5 minutes a day" type app, but it doesn't do much teaching things like grammar or proper speaking. 

For that, I turned to my library. I was delighted to find that my local library provides free subscriptions to a few paid language learning services. I've started with a service called "Mango". I like how it teaches French, but it's teaching Parisienne French, which sounds very high-society to me. It's very refined and snooty. 

Of course, if you read anything about learning languages, they'll tell you that immersion is the best way to learn. Get all the exposure you can. Well, that's easy to say. Not so easy to execute. I can't exactly drop my life for six months to move to Trois-Rivieres. Or even to Gravelbourg - even if they have excellent mustard. 

But we live so much of our lives on our digital devices, and I CAN change my languages there. It started by changing the language on a few of my favourite games like Balatro and Minecraft. Then I updated the language on my phone, followed by my laptop. Updating your device language is a bit of a shock and has been the hardest to adjust to so far. The option to switch back is always there, and the temptation is strong when you're trying to find something in settings. But I've muddled through for a couple of weeks now. 

One of the more subtle benefits of Mauril isn't in the exercises they do but in the suggestions they make at the end of your lesson. After you've passed your little quiz, it gives you a little daily challenge like, "read out your directions to work in French", "make a recipe in French," or "listen to a podcast in French." It gives you these little daily tasks that you can translate further, immersing yourself without annoying everyone around you. Unless you share your daily calendar with your wife. Then you get snarky questions about who "porter vert" is. 

One of the places I feel most successful in my learning journey is listening to podcasts and the news. It always starts off pretty rough, and I'm only picking up a word or two. But by the end of the podcast, I'm pretty engrossed and understanding most of what's being said. I could have also been listening to the Maple Leafs lose in French - I could probably catch a few games where the Riders play the Alouettes in French this summer, too. 

Back to the resources available at my local library, I downloaded "The Three Musketeers" by Alexandre Dumas, or as I've downloaded it, "Les trois mousquetaires". The book was originally written in French and I've always wanted to read it as written. I've read the translation a few times. 

And there are many resources I haven't tackled yet either. Duolingo is still out there, as are the other couple of language platforms that the library offers. I've considered finding a pen pal or even a discussion partner online to chat with in French. I'd also like to take on some creative projects in French, maybe write a song or do a Minecraft "let's play." Or maybe yet another blog, but this time in French? I want to find more French music that I like. I'm just dipping my toes in that as well. 

And finally, once my accounts started to realize that I was consuming a lot of French media and making a lot of French searches, my advertising followed. So now I get about 50% of my advertising pushed to me in French as well. 

Overall, I'll say this. I don't think there's been a better time in history to learn a new language on your own. Our connection with devices and technology is so strong that gradually moving all of those systems over to your goal language will begin immersing you. While there are many paid services out there, I've been able to access everything for free so far, with the exception of about $10 I spent at Value Village to buy a French/English dictionary and a grammar book. I don't think I'll need to take on any paid stuff unless I choose to take a French university class or something to legitimize my learning. But that's a goal for 2026, I think. And maybe I'll buy a French rhyming dictionary if I choose to write a song, but there's gonna be a website that does that as well. 

Have you considered learning a new language or strengthening one you know? Do you have resources I didn't list here? What would you do different if the language is a computer language? Do these ideas help you apply any other kind of learning?

Not Into It?

Suppose it's my day to blog but I'm not really in the mood for the fun I had planned. 

Was unsuccessful in the job I was applying on. I got a reasonable consolation gig but it still stings. 

Have a couple weeks off work, had some holiday to use up. Dug into fixing the camper today only to find the cable I'd ordered last summer for it was too small. Shrinkflation indeed. 

I'm mostly just trying to think about how I have time, some gumption and a few resources. I need to keep going and something interesting will happen. 

I have weird ideas for fun things. But I also gotta spend a day fixing a camper only to end up a square one. 

Oh and what was with that Conclave? Leo?  Fourteen no less. Pope Denis would have been one of a kind. Makes a guy wonder when the last year with three Popes was. 

Pilon for Pope - 2025

 The news arrived about two weeks ago: Pope Francis passed away at the ripe old age of 88. After much mourning and chest-beating, the Catholic Church is now finally in a position to pick a new pope. 

I come to you today, as I did about 20 years ago, to share why I think my father, Denis, should be elected to the highest office in the Church when the Cardinals enter the conclave tomorrow. 

Now, we had a lot of fun with the papal election back in 2005, and things got pretty silly. There were Photoshopped photos of Dad with a big ol' Pope hat on, and we all had a good laugh. Even a couple of weeks ago, I put together a song to start the campaign. But I was informed this weekend that it was so unfunny that it didn't even merit comment. 

Ouch. 

But you know what? Maybe there's some truth to that. After all, the Vatican, and the Church in general, are pretty serious institutions. They deal with the very word of God and have influence over the entire planet. Maybe if I took this a little more seriously, the Cardinals would actually pay attention. So we're going to take a more serious and measured approach to this campaign. I present to you, Pilon: Papacy with Panache. 

With a rich, dark green background and golden text in a classic Gothic font, the campaign can't help but grab the attention of even the most serious and devout Catholics. And the promise of a pope with some panache will grab the attention of the progressives in the Church who are looking for someone with some personality. 

So, what changes and promises will Pope Denis bring to the table? I'm glad you asked. 

Here for your review are some of the changes and new rules that Pope Denis will bring to the Catholic Church. 

• The announcement of the new Pope will continue to be done via smoke signal, but it will now involve the Cardinals smoking many fine cigars. 
• The Popemobile will be upgraded to include a humidor and a scotch cabinet. 
• Wherever possible, stonework will be removed from Vatican City and replaced with fine woodworking of teak and walnut. This will make it more environmentally friendly somehow.
• Strict "no losers" rule in the Swiss Guard will be enforced.
• We're moving the immovable ladder. Just over one window. We'll act like we have no idea. 
• Upgrading communion hosts to personal pan pizzas to align better with the Italian roots of the church. 
• Blood of Christ upgrading to Mountain Dew: Code Red. 
• We're going to laminate the Shroud of Turin. Scientists keep showing up trying to do tests, and frankly, they've done enough. 
• Weekly "prophecy parties". We'll bring the Holy Bong of St. Peter out of retirement. 

The Cardinals head into the Conclave tomorrow, so call your Church offices today and make sure the message gets through that the only proper pope is a pontiff with panache. Let's make sure they know who we really want for Pope! 

Not what you expected

I know I promised that the Campaign for Pope 2025 would start today in my last blog post. And I suppose in private it has. But there are a few things going on in the world and personally right now that's taking up my time. So we'll start next week with some nice Photoshopping and fresh ideas. 

For today, I'm going to go back to maybe a more traditional journaling format and let you know some of those things I'm up to that are taking up my time this week. 

First off, Canada held its 45th election yesterday. I've got some pretty mixed feelings about the outcome. As of this writing, we know that the Liberals will form government under Mark Carney, but it's still unknown if that will be under a minority or majority government. I've always been a fan of minority/coalition governments because I think it puts an extra check on power. But there's something about the current situation and the tension between Canada and the US that makes me wish there was a clear mandate. If the BQ are given the balance of power, I think it will only exacerbate the feelings of Western alienation in the country, and that could be problematic. 

The fact that my favourite federal MP and my least favourite federal MP lost their seats in the election also adds to my mixed feelings about the election. Jagmeet Singh resigned as leader of the NDP last night, and the poor NDP took an absolute beating, primarily at the hands of the Tories last night. Gross feeling. 

Also worthy of mixed feelings is that Pierre Pollievre lost his seat, but the Conservatives picked up a lot of seats. Which I read to mean that despite the threat of neo-conservatism coming from the US, some Canadians still felt that the party was the solution. Although I've seen a lot of arguments that the Tory vote was more about crime and affordability - which is a genuine issue that we as Canadians need to start working on. 

All in all, nothing's changed much, but at least we don't have to listen to PP anymore, and maybe we'll see the Conservative Party of Canada actually become a more traditional conservative party again. 

In other news, I'm rounding the corner on making my job as a Communications Consultant permanent. I've been doing the role on a temporary basis for the past 3+ years, and a permanent spot has finally opened up. I'm a bit nervous and there's so much to do, but standing back a few steps, I think I'm the person who will get the job. At least I hope so. I've got the most experience in the company and in the department. I've passed the written assessment, and tomorrow is my interview. 

The interview looks like it will be pretty intense. I need to do a presentation on four things I'd change or update about the media relations team, and then we follow that with the usual, "tell us about a time you were butt-hurt and what kind of cream you used to soothe the burn." 

I've got the presentation built. After basically running the place for the last year, I've got more than four things I'd like to change. But I'm focusing on a few that I think will resonate and that I can connect to the company as a whole, or to larger trends in the world. Less complaining about things I don't like and more insight into ways we need to improve. 

The "tell us about a time" section is maybe a bit deceiving. On one hand, I feel over-prepared for it for the first time in the dozen or so times I've done an interview. The Company started doing a new staff review process called "PDP" a few years ago, and part of that process is collecting stories to show that you do certain things, like work with people or overcome a serious butt-hurt. So I have three years of collected stories to draw from. I just worry it's giving me too much confidence, and I'm going to be less prepared than I feel when it comes to the interview.  

Also, I need to file my taxes tonight. 

All this to say, I've got lots going on this week. So next week, right as the 2025 Conclave is about to start, I'll be starting the campaign to make Denis the next pope. 

The campaign begins - next week.

If there's one thing people have always remembered this blog for, it's my campaign to have my Dad named Pope during the 2005 Conclave to replace John Paul II. 

I didn't repeat the campaign in 2013 because I'd never experienced a Pope stepping down, so I wasn't sure of the legitimacy. Plus, I wasn't blogging at the time. 

But things are much clearer in 2025. Plus, with the current eligibility requirements that the Pope be under 80, it might be the last chance to make him Bishop of Rome. 

Since we're still in the novemdiales (period of mourning), I'm not going to break out the campaign signs or start sending my large *ahem* "campaign contributions." Yet. But I think we'll be near enough the end of that by next week to really kick this thing into gear. 

 But I would also argue that the world is in a pretty delicate place. Democracy seems to be at risk everywhere. Life is getting more expensive, and for the first time in history, war isn't just death and fighting, it's economics and computer hacking. Pope Francis was important in bringing people wisdom and hope during this time. In fact, Popes have always had an important role in times like this.

That's why I argue we should not be leaving the Vatican in a leadership vacuum. We should appoint a temp-pope. I wrote a song about it. 

Missed it by that much...

Last weekend, I stumbled across a fun mini-doc on YouTube about one of my favourite cartoons from back when I was a kid, Inspector Gadget. 

For the uninitiated in the ranks, Inspector Gadget follows the adventures of the namesake character along with his neice Penny and their dog Brain. Not to be confused with that other Brain. Inspector Gadget is sort of like RoboCop or the Six Million Dollar Man in that he's been bionically enhanced with a bunch of gadgets that ostensibly help him solve crimes. I say ostensibly because, as regular viewers will know, Gadget never solves anything. It's usually left up to Penny and Brain to do all the hard work. 

I was really surprised to learn from the documentary that the show was only produced from 1982-83. Perhaps even more surprising is that the production company just stopped making the show because they just didn't need to make it anymore. It wasn't cancelled, and the lead voice actor didn't quit in some sort of dramatic controversy. They just stopped making it. 

Who does that?!

Even more surprising is that despite stopping in 1983, it kept being shown and enjoyed for years and years to come. 1983 makes me too young to have enjoyed it during its initial run - I would only have been 1-2 years old. Yet I watched Inspector Gadget a lot - in the late 1980s and even into the 1990s. I'd even guess that the Navigator probably watched the show. 

It is so strange in our modern world of fast entertainment and 30-second attention spans that something could run for a couple of years and continue to have entertainment value for a decade or more after production is completed. I was thinking the other day how, despite all the Star Wars content we've been given over the last few years, nothing has had rewatching value to me. Even the best of it, Andor and The Mandalorian, have only been a one-time watch. But I bet I've seen The Empire Strikes Back at least 3 dozen times. Heck, I've even seen each of the prequels a handful of times each. 

Conan O'Brien has commented a few times on his podcast that people should not be able to make new content, that we've got more than anyone could ever consume in a lifetime already. As a creator, I don't love that idea. I'd like to think there will always be an outlet for the things I make. But I get what he's saying. How can anyone expect their things to be consumed when there's just so much to be seen? Not to mention, your cut of the attention pie gets smaller and smaller as more and more content is produced. It's going to become increasingly hard to make a living out of being creative.

I took the kids to see the Minecraft Movie this weekend. It's the second time since Kendrick Lamar's SuperBowl Halftime performance that I've felt like I've enjoyed something that's actually part of the larger culture. Something that's more than just my little niche of videos about old computers and dusty guitars. The movie was pretty good for what it was, and I was very impressed that this generation has found a way to interact with something in a real way. People were yelling stuff at the screen in unison, and there was massive applause at the end. It was a genuine, real experience with real people. 

It made me realize that while we've all been driven into doomscrolls and Trump-hating, at any age, we really just want to go out with others and enjoy ourselves. It gives me hope that my own creativity will have a place in the real world. I had the pleasure of playing guitar with and for my co-workers a bit over a week ago. We had so much fun singing together, sharing jokes and enjoying a shared experience. It wasn't people stuck on our phones; it was a group hanging out and just having fun. 

Maybe the world is on the way to a reset. Maybe in time, we'll get back to concerts and festivals and doing things together. There's something so shallow about an internet comment, just trying to illicit such a thing for this fleeting little bit of attention in words on a screen. 

What do you think of the current world of entertainment? Are we headed for a connection renaissance? COMMENT BELOW!